Fubar Blog Posts 2

Logic.
Two Rednecks, Jim and Dave, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking Beer. Jim turns to Dave and says, 'You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes.' Dave thinks it's a Good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. 'Logic?' Jim says. 'What's that?' The dean says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?' 'Yeah.' 'Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard.' 'That's true, I do have a yard.' 'I'm not done,' the dean says. 'Because you have a yard, I think Logically that you would have a house.' 'Yes, I do have a house.' 'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a Family.' 'Yes, I have a family.' 'I'm not done yet. Because you have a

Logitech G9: Gaming Mice Redefined
Logitech redefines gaming mice with their latest gamer-oriented mouse The Logitech G9 is nothing to scoff at among the wide range of gaming mice. At first it may have been considered just a large gimmick with it's adjustable weights and two different grips but are actually very solid features. The custom click-on grips are a fresh breath to the gaming-mouse world. Nothing has been introduced like it yet, and this author was very impressed by it's implementation. While it took some time to get used to, it was an feature that is hard to stop using. In the middle of an intense gaming session I found myself switching between the two grips actively and found myself gaining an advantage between the two for different uses. The G9's true innovation is, as stated above, the custom grips. Logitech has hinted that it will be releasing more grips for the G9 (no dates have been mentioned) in the future, which will add a large list of different styles, shapes, and textures to the G9's funct

The Logic Of My Kind
A woman is created in the image of the higher power, same as a man. A master is one who accepts his divinity within him, but a submissive is a goddess on her knees. You claim "women were created at the behest of man." I answer, I look it as God created man and then he made the debugged version. But in truth women were created from man, as a supporting part of man. In essence, it partially embodies the concept that man is not whole without her, and cannot function properly without her. And that is the Logic of my kind.

Logical...me??? Never.
Your Love Style is Pragma You believe love is logical - or at least it should be You've thought a lot about what you want from someone And to say you have a checklist would be an understatement You may even have a plan for how you will fall in love All you've got to do is meet the perfect person! What's Your Love Style?

Logic
My fingertips are burning As the fire from within Shoots out of them like bullets Onto the keyboard Each word, each letter Bursting out of the volcano of my heart Erupting up past my shoulders, Through my arms My wrists My hands To you My emotional and logical sides at war As always More violently now My logical side keeps me safe Builds my walls, Fills the cracks in them, Reinforces any weakened stone Reminds me of the times I have hurt others The times I have been hurt Reminds me that people lie Mislead, misrepresent It is my cautious side My emotional side takes back over I am in your arms Hundreds of miles away I am tasting your lips Touching your cheek Staring into the eyes Of one who understands me Inspires me Adores me The eyes of the one I understand I inspire I adore I push my logical side further away I am in your bed Your body pressed against mine Your lips pressed against mine You and I are the only two that exist In this roo

The Logic Of Love
love what exactly is it can anyone really answer this question well yes and no yes as in we can answer it for ourselves but to give an educated guess on something like love for someone else well that would be foolish to give love a definition when we cant touch hear smell or feel love other than as an emotion that would be like define clear......well its clear there ya go but as i was saying love for me is that mouth drying heart racing hell of a rollercoaster emotional right its pefrict as in its a balance of happy and sad cause a wise person once told me you cant help but hurt you ones the love its in the small acts we do everyday like kiss that special one on the cheek or lips or the big acts like jewelry or having will you marry me put on at the sporting event of your choice big screen i dunno what love really is i have felt it before i think i feel i lost it as well but in all reality love.....its something we all beg for and all hate at the same time cause when you love you accep

Logic
With nothing to live with but regrets I have become bitter With nothing to feed my soul but bitterness I have become malicious With nothing to give but malice I am lonely With no one to talk too, I evolve into madness Within the cold comforts of insanity I have no regrets.

Logic Vs Emotion. - Find Out Your Personality Type.
There are approximetly 35252666432.9 different types of people in this world. (Not literally of course) I'm going to take a closer look at two types because it causes controversy and confussion. People who primarely use logic and those who primarely make decisions based on their current emotions.I am personality type INTJ. I am more of a logical person. I do not feel comfortable in emotionally involved situations or environments. I find it troublesome to comfort or understand why someone is feeling the way they do about a certain tragedy or event that has recently occured. I prefer technology and nice items over emotional relationships. I don't mind spending a majority of my time alone and I love reading and learning more about the field of psychology. (All in all they call the INTJ personality type a 'scientist'.) I am always eager to get to a solution rather then knowing why I had to take the steps I did to achieve my purpose.A vast majority of people, however, prefer to mak

[logic Problem: The Perfect Weapon]
[Lame strategy rant- please disregard and go do something interesting, I'm just thinking outloud here, and unless you follow theoretical weapon design, robotic design, strategy games, or Gundam, you're going to be BOREDBOREDBOREDBOREDby this post and possibly think less of me.]Alright, some of you caught the neue ziel rantand I've been spending my idle hours really trying to process a paper to that rock.In the series it appeared inthey fought rock versus rock.Build big, build guns, build big.Now, my normal method most any strategy game is:single player Squads: Superior formations 2-3 def-off.multiplay Individual offense: Superior positioning and superior distance.multi-play Squad defense: robotic point defense with light support.In other words, when I go offense, I tend to loan wolf with maverick techniques in disregarded or neglected points.IEI fight smarter than I fight well.It's not cover and return fire- its cover and dissapear.Snuggle up to a corner with some shrubs, and make a fe

Login Problems / Hacked
Please read carefully. Users are solely responsible for their login credentials. If your account is still in our database, then you are typing in your email incorrectly and we ask that you type in the correct address. If you are still unable to login, you can send a PM to Support with your user ID# to that account and the email address you believe is signed up with that account. Support will verify that information and give you the correct email address for login only if they can verify that is your account. Before contacting support try a password recovery, make sure support@fubar.com and e-mails@fubar.com is in your e-mail contacts then do it. E-mail them off the e-mail associated with the account. If you cant find your account, if its not in our database then there is no way to recover it. What scrapper says on being hacked http://fubar.com/how-to-avoid-getting-hacked/b328015-1096235 Our golden rule from scrapper http://fubar.com/don-t-violate-the-golden-rule-or-you-will-pay-the-p

Logitech Dévoile Clavier Lavable
Fatigué d'avoir «guarrete 'clavier et infectés par des virus et des bactéries? Le fabricant Logitech périphérique vient à la rescousse avec Clavier lavable K310, un clavier qui peut être lavé dans l'eau du robinet ou de prendre plongée sous-marine car Endurance 11 mètres.Il est venu le temps des études qui ont montré une impressionnante quantité de bactéries sur le clavier, le produit de longues heures d'éternuer sur la nourriture et les boissons ou tout simplement mettre la main sur. Si vous avez des enfants à la maison que le clavier aporreen accumule le problème.Comme la brosse ou un chiffon classique semble insuffisant, Logitech va commercialiser ce mois-ci pour 40 $, un clavier de base avec câble USB qui peut se glisser sous le lavabo ou un évier et nettoyer à fond sans problèmes robinet cuisine pas cher . L'eau s'échappe à travers une série de trous dans le dos et les mêmes composants air ambiant sec. La gravure des touches est réalisée par laser et possède un revêtement spécial

Logic & Life
I left my Soul, Left my heart, In far distant shore's Just to end up here, Same old shit, Same work routine, To go back, Make it right, Finish this jigsaw, Place the chess pieces, Delicate in place, The kings & the queens, Demolish the board, Wipe away the enemy, Dust in the wind, Just a memory,In my world, The game never ended,Until we are one again, Logic is logic, Trust is trust, The moon is the moon, The Stars are the stars, The sun shall rise,

Lo Gobos - Bitches!
UNM Lady Lobos are #1 in the MWC Blowing out WHO-NLV. Beating Wyoming. And lastly Owning all over BY-WHO? UNM Lady Lobos are now 5-0 when it comes to MWC Championship games. Great job to Katie, Amy, Dionne, Brandy, Cyborg,and all the girls! Well played! (Also - on an even greater note. BYU Mens team lost to UNLV Mens team meaning both BYU teams made it to Champ games AND LOST! pwn3d! Biyotches! =D!

Lo Gobos!
UNM will trave to Hartford CT, for Round 1 of the Womens NCAA BBall tournament. They are 8th seeded and going up against UW-Green Bay. They play on Sunday! Lo Gobos! On another note... What's there to do in Hartford? I've never been. Anyone close by? Wanna chill? Let me know soon!

Logos In Secret Society Folder Ready For Viewing
Just for a reminder, the folder I'm going to be talking about is for members only, so if you're not one, don't worry about it. Now that I have gotten that out of the way, on with the topic. I just made a new folder for the Secret Society, and I have in it right now are some logo ideas for the group. I have my opinion on each picture, and I would like to see how everyone likes the ideas. Feel free to comment on them, I need feedback. I thought this would be better than a stupid MUMM.

Logo Mats
Logomatshop is part of Bob Mats B.V. Since 1989 Bob Mats is active in the sale and production of (logo)mats.You can find our mats at many locations, shops, supermarkets, petrolstations, hotels, car dealerships companies and so on. We have a range of mat that carry the logo of famous brands and these can be customized with carring your name. Logo mats Logomatten Fila brasileiro

The Log Of The Voyage
The Log of the Voyage Part 1 If you were to ask me, a 64 year old man who's been around, why at this late stage in the play I am about to embark on another adventure I will tell you that while it does have all the elements of great adventure, I think of it more of a continuing adventure that was interrupted by the fallout from the explosion of my useless appendix. It is in fact the only body part that I know about that serves no meaningful purpose. We can have one or not have one and it doesn't make a damn bit of difference unless it goes bad. Then it can kill you. It almost killed me. How sad it would have been to have died, sabotaged by the poisonous bite of a useless but none the less deadly........appendix. The very word of it reeks of unimportance. As if it were a redundant footnote in some massively researched and equally meaningless tome. It was all downhill from there. Maybe my other grand and essential body parts were thrown into revolt by the violence of

Lo Hecho Está Hecho
En la suite 16 Lo que empieza no termina Del mini bar al eden Y en muy mala companía Era ese sabor en tu piel A azufre revuelto con miel Asi que me llene de coraje y me fui a caminar por el lado salvaje Pense "no me mires asi" Ya se lo que quieres de mi Que no hay que ser vidente aquí Para un mal como tu no hay cuerpo que aguante Coro: Lo hecho está hecho Volvi a tropezar Con la misma piedra que hubo siempre Se siente tan bien todo lo que hace mal Y contigo nunca es suficiente Como fue Que paso Esa noche Impaciente Fueron a llamar La de recepción Cuando se quejaban de la 17 No puede ser nada normal Acabar eligiendo tan mal En materia de hombres soy toda una experta siempre en repetir mis errores No hay ceguera peor Que no querer mirar Cuando te guardabas el anillo dentro del bolsillo y dejarlo pasar Coro: Lo hecho está hecho Volvi a tropezar Con la misma piedra que hubo siempre Se siente tan bien todo lo que hace mal Y contigo nunca es suficiente Nunca me senti tan fuera de lugar Nunca

LoẠi CỬa KÍnh MÀu Xanh LÁ CÂy BÁn ChẠy NhẤt MÙa GiÁng Sinh NÀy
Theo thống kê của hãng sản xuất cửa kính lớn nhất đông nam á Norfolk cho thấy loại cua kinh màu xanh bán rất chạy trong giáng sinh này Cửa sổ và cửa ra vào là một sự phát triển về doanh thu trong mùa đông năm nay , thiết kế, sản xuất và bán hàng của cửa nhôm và cửa sổ. Công ty cam kết để phát triển một loạt kim loại ánh sáng xây dựng thân thiện môi trường trang trí vật liệu. bộ sưu tập Các loại cua kinh mau sử dụng UCP vật liệu siêu Ý nhựa chọi thời tiết, độ bám dính trên bề mặt, đặc tính chống lão hóa cao, rõ ràng, hạt gỗ tự nhiên. Các phụ kiện khác từ các nhà cung cấp hàng đ

Loại Hình Phát Tờ Rơi được Sử Dụng Nhiều Nhất
Loại hình phát tờ rơi nào được sử dụng nhiều nhất hiện nay ?? Phat to roi là 1 trong những chiến lược marketing offline , nhằm quảng bá sản phẩm , thông tin đến người khách hàng nhanh nhất và ít tốn chi phí nhất mà hiệu quả mang lại rất cao 1. Phát tờ rơi – Loại hình marketing offline : Vì nó mang đến tận tay người tiêu dùng sản phẩm, thông tin được truyền đạt trên đó( Giao tiếp giữa khách hàng vs tờ rơi không thông qua 1 phương tiệ

Loi (lack Of Integrity)
A study in Flakiness as a reflection of a lack of Integrity by *kttn* Integrity, as defined by Wikipedia: “the basing of one's actions on an internally consistent framework of principles. Depth of principles and adherence of each level to the next are key determining factors. One is said to have integrity to the extent that everything he does and believes is based on the same core set of values. While those values may change, it is their consistency with each other and with the person's actions that determine his integrity. The concept of integrity is directly linked to responsibility in that implementation spawning from principles is designed with a specific outcome in mind. When the action fails to achieve the desired effect, a change of principles is indicated. Accountability is achieved when a faulty principle is identified and changed to produce a more useful action”. Per the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy, “Integrity is one of the most important and oft-cited of vir

Loisirs Et Services Volontaires Dans L'internet Mondial : Les Sortilèges, Les Espoirs Et Les Avantages Dans Cherry Tap, Plateforme Pendant La Vie De N
Loisirs et services volontaires dans l'Internet mondial : Les sortilèges, les espoirs et les avantages dans Cherry Tap, plateforme pendant la vie de nuit de virtualización et loisirs. Vous avez été probablement absent nous, beaucoup, car nous avons des disparus vous à vous, pendant la semaine dernière. L'année en cours, son finissage, et l'esprit de Noël ont été précipités avec passion, sur chacun, dans beaucoup d'endroits du monde. Que continue ? Dans ce côté du fil du téléphone, de l'aspect d'un nouveau coin pour l'échange et de la vie nocturne, là-bas des frontières, de l'intolérance et des pressions du créateur et de travail, routines. Le Cherry Tap - un des premiers clubs nocturnes, ou les publications électroniques, par Internet- est, un endroit charmant, pas pour des adolescents et des adultes, mais pour entendre parler de tous les âges, s'ils ont décidé de mettre leur imagination à l'essai, dans l'art pour faire des amitiés, se produisant l'occasion, dans beauco

Lois Lane's Superman Substitute
Lois Lane's Superman Substitute by the_box_in_the_box © Lois Lane: Man of Plastic (and D-Cell Batteries) Set during the time of the Lois Lane/Clark Kent/Superman "love triangle," the Man of Steel's would-be girlfriend gets lonely one late night at the Daily Planet offices ... __________ As one of the Daily Planet's star reporters in Metropolis, Lois Lane lived the life of a busy career girl in the big city, and as with most women in a similar position, this had taken its toll on her relationships. It was difficult for Lois to maintain any sort of relationship. Even though her editor, Perry White, was a much more understanding and compassionate employer than he pretended to be under all that sound and fury, her work schedule was still incredibly demanding, and many were the nights that she spent at the office, well after the rest of the world's regular working hours had long since concluded. Another thing that she had in common with many working women in the modern wo

Lois Lane's Late Night Snack A
Lois Lane's Late Night Snack by Croctden © No one was home. Lois Lane unlocked the door with the key Clark had given her. She deposited her bag and jacket and slipped into the kitchen. She had no idea where he was, but she knew he was not here making her dinner as promised. And she was hungry, fortunately her boyfriend usually kept a pretty stocked larder. She fixed herself a sandwich and made her way into the living room. Kicking off her shoes, she channel surfed, but nothing was on, so she picked up a magazine and thumbed through it. Finished eating, she put the empty plate in the sink. Walking back she felt a rush of air. "Clark?" But she was alone. She sat back down and was surprised to feel the rough cloth of couch on her bare legs. Her skirt was gone. Looking down at her dark blue bikini cut panties she quickly crossed her arms in defense. "Very funny. Now come out." Silence greeted her so she stood and started to wander around. The apartment seemed deserted, but she

Lois Lane's Late Night Snack B
Lois Lane's Late Night Snack by Croctden © Released, she turned to draw him into the water so they could kiss again. Strong hands tracked down her back, cupping her ass. They both murmured. His cock slid between her legs on its own. She rubbed herself over his shaft, adding her moisture to the spraying water. She circled a leg around his waist, rubbing a shapely calf against his steely thigh. They kissed, taking their time, confident of where they were going. Their lovemaking was more familiar now, but still wonderful. Grabbing his hard shoulders she hopped up and felt him slid inside her deliciously. Her legs wrapped around him and he leaned forward to put her head under the spray, inhibiting her sight and hearing so she could focus on his penis slowly pressing, probing her sacred spot and backing away. After an eternity he pulled her upright so they could kiss. He tossed her up with ease, burying his face in her tits. She whimpered when he nipped sensitive underside of her ti

Lois Lane Vrs Fubar
The Mikhail Mile This is Mikhail and you're reading the very first “Mikhail Mile”. You'll find interviews with DJs, lounge owners and other big names within fubar.com. My first guest is former Torture Chamber DJ and co-owner of the Kryptonite Lounge, DJ Lois Lane. Mikhail: I see your fu-b-day is 6/13/06 When did you start DJing? DJ Lois Lane: August of 2007 Mikhail: cool. What was your first lounge? DJ Lois Lane: As in for DJ'ing? Mikhail: Yes DJ Lois Lane: That would be Torture Chamber Mikhail: Cool, and now? DJ Lois Lane: I don't DJ for a lounge currently Mikhail: Free Agent? DJ Lois Lane: Kind of. I currently co-own a lounge with my fu-hubby Mikhail: Superman? DJ Lois Lane: Yeah or as he was known DJ Diablo Mikhail: Ah, He just drop in on ya? DJ Lois Lane: My fu hubby? Mikhail: yeah. Hope you took the play on name as harmless as I meant it DJ Lois Lane: Yeah he did, kinda. Mikhail: Good, How long have you been fu-married?

Loja Só Natal Está De Portas Abertas No Pantanal Shopping
A tradicional loja Só Natal, especialista em artigos natalinos, já está de portas abertas no Pantanal Shopping! No espaço, os clientes encontram as últimas tendências em decoração de Natal apresentadas nas grandes feiras nacionais do segmento. Entre os produtos estão artigos decorativos para mesa, paredes e aéreos; adereços para Ceia; suporte para vinhos, e muito mais. Além de enfeites prontos, na loja os clientes encontram todos os adereços necessários para montarem seus enfeites para natal. A loja Só Natal permanece no Pantanal Shopping até o dia 24 de dezembro, no segundo piso, no corredor da Unic.

Lok At The Love I Got
CommentFox rated your photo an '11'! 8 min ago · CommentFox rated your photo an '11'! 8 min ago · CommentFox rated your photo an '11'! 8 min ago · CommentFox rated your photo an '11'! 8 min ago · CommentFox rated your photo an '11'! 9 min ago · CommentFox rated your photo an '11'! 9 min ago · CommentFox became your fan! 10 min ago · CommentFox rated you an '11'! 10 min ago · CommentFox just checked you out! 10 min ago · CommentFox accepted your friend request! 10 min ago

A Lokata Story (for Dan)
Winyan Wan Sungmanitu Tanka Ob Ti...Hohwoju oyate eya wani ti pi icuhan kangi wicasa kin sung manu ahi na ota mawicanu pi na nakun Lakota winyan ko akiyagla pi.Kangi wicasa ti pi heciya winyan ki le aki pi ca titakuye wica kiksuye na lila cante sice na ceya ke, winyan ki ableza pi na heya pi ske, "Sina ki le ena, woyute ki lena icu, na wakpala ta inahma ye." Hoca mni aglala inahma ke, na oiyokpaza ca gla cu ke, icuhan sungmanitu tanka nump el hipi na oksan hlo omanipi ke, takinnas ena kte pi kta kecin ke. Sungmanitu tanka ki waste ca pi ke ca ob wancok wi yohinyanpata kiya si glu hapi ke.Blaye cokan gla pi ehanl osiceca tanka wan hihunni na icuhan sungmanitu tanka a ke numb hel opa pi ke. Hetan tehiya mani pi eyas hecena gla pi, kangi wicasa kanyela u pi k'on hetan kawinga pi.Wooyake ki le wowas'ake yuha. Lkaota winyan ki le osiceca ahi ca heon kpapte. Tuwa osiceca icuhan omani ki le wooyake ki kiksuye ehantans takuni toka.Anpetu ota mani pi ehanl "Winuhcala Paha" eya pica hel ih

Loked Up
So theres a first time for everything and i got mines da other day!.... My uncle and i were up at da cemetary takin pics of all da unique lookin tomb stones the other nite. Well the sign clearly states that the gates will close and lock at dusk...well guess what...dusk must of came early that day because at 9pm when we drove up to the gates..THEY WERE LOCKED. So my uncle and i sat aroud for about and hour or so and waited untill the security gaurd showed up to to open up the gate. That was deff a first and a last for me...LMFAO

Loki
Loki or Loke is the mythical Fire-giant/deity of mischief in Norse mythology, a son of the giants Fárbauti and Laufey. Loki also had two brothers (Helbindi & Byleist) of whom nothing is known. He is described as the "contriver of all fraud". He mixed freely with the gods for a long time, even becoming Odin's blood brother. Despite much research, "the figure of Loki remains obscure; there is no trace of a cult, and the name does not appear in place-names."[1] Sources inconsistently place him among the Æsir; however, this may only be due to him being a journeyman of sneak and his close relation with Odin and the amount of time that he spends among the Æsir. Like Odin (though to a lesser extent), Loki bears many names: Lie-Smith, Sly-God, Shape-Changer, Sly-One, Lopt, Sky Traveller, Sky Walker and Wizard Of Lies among others. The composer Richard Wagner presented Loki under an invented Germanized name Loge in his opera Das Rheingold. Loge is also mentioned, but does not appear as

Loki's Revenge
why not play the game? why not play the chaos..embrace it...become the darkness. this is the new me, dark, ethic less, uncaring, fucking deal with it...if you dont want to be a used like a tool, then dont act like one

Lokkin For A Fu-wife!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey ladies.....im lookin for someone to be my Fu-Wife.....now its not gonna be that simple.....there r certain qualities im looking for.... 1) u have to be good lookin 2) u cant be a bitch 3) u cant have another Fu- anything 4) u must have a badass personality 5) u must have quite a few pics (at least 20) 6) u have to be real with me thats about it....i will announce the winner in another bulliten next friday......so send me comments or messages or anything u think will win u the right to be my Fu-wife...........let the games begin!!!!!!

Lol
well, i never know what to say in these things...alot has gone on lately, and right now i guess i can say that im lucky to not have a concussion... darn storage closet, gotta raise its roof... 4 feet and im almost 6...doesnt work too well!!! well... i think im done for now, lol hit me up

Lol
Well toay goes to prove that anything can happend and you really never know how. I ended up spraining my left ankle and i have no clue how i managed to do that. lol. I am in a splint and its annoying and crutches. NO FUN AT ALL.

Lol
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher Insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," ... she was Aways reminding them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words! She then asked Mitchell what he had done, "I took a ride on a choo-choo." She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use ' Big People' words." She then asked little Alec what he had done. "I read a book," he replied "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" [I love this] Alec thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with greatpride, and said Winnie the SHIT!"

~lol~
Using your mouth Your sexual hidden talent is your ability to use your mouth. You are incredibly sensual, a great kisser and a seductive lover. You drive all of your partners crazy with your mouth. Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

Lol
someone explain me please, after all that he said me yesterday, now i see he has "in a relationship" again on his myspace? someone has a very serious mental problem why the check he tryed to come back to me? why the fuck he said all that bunch of shit to me, about that he's alone, that the other girl doesn't want him.... i'm just tired about all his lies... please, someone tell him to stop *** edited *** ... and i thought he was being honest about all that he was saying to me... it doesn't matter anymore what he has to say, it doesn't hurt me.. but makes me think if he really needs a doctor or some kind of help

Lol
Wildest sermon ever heard: "The last time I worked in the South, I worked in Knoxville, Tennessee. It's about 1957 in Knoxville. I drove down, and I got lost...and I was driving around the outskirts of Knoxville, which is redundant... I pulled into a town I couldn't believe still existed in the eighties. A dusty, dirt road, a little old wooden store that actually said "General Store", and that was it. There was a little old man sitting in front of the store in a rocking chair... I said to him, "What do you folks do around here?" He said, "We don't do nothin' but hunt n' phuck." I said, "What do you hunt?" He said, "Somethin' to phuck." "

Lol
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a Loud pounding on the door..... The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, Standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "It is three o'clock in the Morning." He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his Wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help Him?" she asks. "No. I did not. It is three o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain outside!!." His wife said, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! The man does as he is told, gets dressed and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello! Are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes! Please!"comes the reply from the darkness.

Lol
(Speakers on?) Hope you enjoy this since it is purposely sent to all you old friends - and some young ones too . ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mike's PlaceThe Fifties . Were you a kid in the Fifties or so ? Everybody makes fun of our childhood! Comedians joke. Grandkids snicker. Twenty-something's shudder and say "Eeeew!" But was our childhood really all that bad? Judge for yourself: In 1953 the Canadian population was much less than now. Yet you knew more people then, and knew them better ... And that was good. The average annual salary was under $3,000 . Yet our parents could put some of it away for a rainy day and still live a decent life . And that was good. A loaf of bread cost about 15 cents ... But it was safe for a five-year-old to skate to the store and buy one ... And that was good. Prime-Time meant

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You have a sexual IQ of 134 When it comes to sex, you are a super genius. You have had a lot of experience, and sex interests you so you know a lot about it. You pride yourself on being a source of information and guidance to all of your friends. Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

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Little johney was taken a shower with his mom and he looked down at her bush and he said mommy whats that why is it there. well johney thats my sponge thats there to keep me clean.well later that night johney's mom and dad decided have some fun but johney's dad wanted her to shave off her bush and she did. well the next day johney was taken a shower with his mom again and he looked down and said mommy what happend to your spongey thing it's gone what did you do with it. well john it got dirty so i got rid of it i threw it out the window it's gone now.so the very next day little johney come running in the house yelling and screaming mommy mommy i just found your sponge the neighbor lady miss smith was washing daddy's face with it.!!!!!!!!!!

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A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

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One night a 87 yr old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 yr old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted living apartment...killing him instantly. Brought before the court on charge of murder. The judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense. She began coolly, Yes, your honor, I figured that at 92, if he could have sex...he could fly

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The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!Here is how you matched up against all the levels:LevelScorePurgatory (Repenting Believers)Very LowLevel 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)HighLevel 2 (Lustful)HighLevel 3 (Gluttonous)HighLevel 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very LowLevel 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)LowLevel 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Moderate

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A very old couple who have been married forever are sitting on the porch one night. Suddenly, the old woman reaches over and smacks her husband, knocking him off the porch and into the bushes. He crawls back up and asks, "What was that for?" She says, "For having a little pecker." He sits there quietly a moment, then smacks her, sending her off the otherside of the porch and into the bushes. She crawls back up and says, "What was that for?" He says, "For knowing there was more than one size."

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An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him, he started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?" The drunk, still staring down replied . . . "I think I just b

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I think this is pretty funny...I have reached my daily limit for friend requests! i woke up bored and started adding people...I wish I knew what the limit was to see how bored I was! Anyways, let me know if this has ever happened to you before?

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........ever had one of those days welp i am ....lol....my fucked up shoutbox still doesnt work or maybe its because im still on dial up hell yes im great need of fast internet service.....got me a new camara and look at the cool thing i did i changed the color of my pics ..how frigin cool im like a 3 year old with a new toy haha!! oh and even worse i have a candle burnin i must have a allergy to cause i keep coughing....nothing worse then that shit .....the holidays are comming up fast what is it like 40 more days till x-mas can someone tell my why the gray headed old bastard gets all the credit and were the broke fuckers.....ahhhh i just dont think its far he gets the glory....my brother he doesnt belive in any holidays smart man i shoulda followed in hes footprints.......lmao but awwww i still sneek my nieces and nepehws presents i just dont wrap the fuckers i laugh in the face of my brother big dork....lol.....well just like to get in here sometimes and fuck off see ya laters!! x

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All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!" 2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." 3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have. 4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"

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A PREGNANT SQUAW WALKED UP TO THE CHIEF, RAISE HER HAND AND SAYS "HOW!" THE CHIEF LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS " I KNOW HOW! WHO! ************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ****** THE LONE RANGER AND TONTO WERE SURROUNDED BY HUNDREDS OF INDIANS. THE LONG RANGER LOOKS AT TONTO AND SAYS "LOOKS LIKE WE ARE DONE FOR THIS TIME TONTO !" TONTO LOOKS AT THE LONE RANGER AND SAYS "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE ?"

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A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying: "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married", "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed. "Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket." After a moment of silence, he farted.

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DOES ANYONE THINK ABOUT LIFE AND HOW FUCKIN BORING IT IS AND HOW CRUEL PEOPLE CAN BE WITH OTHERS FEELINGS......OH WELL I GEUSS TO EACH THERE OWN LOL....WELL I HAD A WONDERFUL NITE LAST NIGHT NICE AND WHAT DO U SAY FUCKING BORING HAHA!! YES DID SOME MUCH NEEDED SOUL SEARCHING AND GATHERD A FEW DISTURBING FACTS 1.YOU MAY DO U BEST ALL THE TIME AND IT WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH TO SOME I LEARNED THAT THE HARD WAY... 2.DONT DRINK ALONE YOU ALWAYS CRY...LOL. 3.AND BY ALL MEANS STAY AWAY FROM YOUR CELL AND DONT TEXT MESSAGE OR TALK TO ANYONE WHEN DRINKING ALONE AND CRYING .....ITS NEVER GOOD!!!!! LOL....WITH THA I WILL CLOSE AND IM GOING TO SEE GODSMACK TOMM YAY ME LETS GET DRUNK SHALL WE OH AND WHEN U DRINK U DO THINGS WITH PEOPLE U SHOULDNT HAHA!!

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12 Days Of Yahoo For the first pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me A post from a week ago. For the second pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me 2 web crashes And a post from a Week ago. For the third pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me 3 error messages 2 web crashes And A post from a week ago. For the forth pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me 4 jerks at Tech Help 3 error Messages 2 web crashes And a post from a week ago. For the fifth pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me 5 frozen PM's 4 jerks at Tech Help 3 Error messages 2 web crashes And a post from a week ago. For the sixth pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me 6 disconnection' s 5 frozen PM's 4 Jerks at Tech Help 3 error messages 2 web crashes And a post from a week ago. For the seventh pain of Christmas Yahoo gave to me 7 hours with no mail 6 Disconnection' s 5 frozen PM's 4 jerks at Tech Help 3 error messages 2 Web crashes And a post from a week ago. For the eighth pain of Christmas Yahoo gav

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Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his dick into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my dick into the pickle slicer?" "Oh, Bill, you didn't." "Yes, I did." "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh...she got fired too."

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I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother. ************************* Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. ************************** Of loving beauty you float with grace. If only you could hide your face. **************************** Kind, intelligent, loving and hot. This describes everything you are not. ****************************** I want to feel your sweet embrace, But don't take that paper bag off of your face. ******************************* I love your smile, your face, and your eyes. Damn, I'm good at telling lies! ************************************ My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life. ************************************ I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. *

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Ok so I'm sitting here sing Barbie Girl. I dont know why - but I thought I should share that. I'm a dork I know. Someone give me something constructive to do for an hour or so, So I dont have to sit here and sing this stupid song!

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You know you live in 2006 when... 1. You go to a party, sit down and take myspace pics. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have MSN/Bebo/MySpace/ nor have they joined cheery tap yet 4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV. 6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer. 7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling. 8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this. 9. You were too busy to notice number five. 10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five. 11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity. 12. Repost if you fell for it. You know you did

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Body: Leroy's homework assignment. He must use each vocabulary word in a sentence. 1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody. 2. Dictate - My girlfriend say my dictate good. 3. Rectum - I had two Cadillac's, but my bitch rectum both. 4. Disappointment - My parole officer tol' me if I miss disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint. 5. Penis - I went to the doctors and he handed me a cup and said penis. 6. Israel - Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "Man, it look fake." He say, "Bullshit, that watch israel." 7. Undermine - There's a fine lookin' ho living in the apartment undermine. 8. Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, "How much?" she say "fortify." Furthering your education with Today's Ebonic word.... Today's word is: "OMELETTE" Let us use it in a sentence. "I should pop yo ass fo what you jus did, but omelette dis one slide

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how do you make you lover scream durring sex? call him and tell him who your with..... whats the diff. between a wife and a girlfriend? 45 pounds whats the diff, between a hubby and a boyfriend? 45 mins. I want a boyfriend!!!!!!!!!

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OK,it's time to blog againwell since that last time i wrote u all nothing has changed and i am glad about it .............I am getting along just fine . been kicking it alot just out of control... but i have kept it cool and not let some things get me down ...... me and my male friend are getting along just fine - no real big arguments lol like usual....... been looking forward to CHRISTMAS and the NEW YEAR so they are right around the corner so i guess i can calm down now, even though this CHRISTMAS isn't like the past ones I am still looking forward to it . I guess the world is changing and not for the better........ I am going to learn how to cope and just go on.. around this time of year i am missing my uncle and grandma they were the people that made my CHRISTMAS special, i miss those decorations and all that food ... now i have to cook all of my own favorites so here we go yeah but my menu is as follows:1. chicken and dressing 2. chitterlings (most important)3. greens 4. spaghett

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One day a teacher had a taste test with her students.She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?" "No, I don't," said the little boy. "Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work." Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yells....... "Spit it out! ..It's a piece of ass!"

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You've Changed 56% in 10 Years You've done a good job changing with the times, but deep down, you're still the same person. You're clothes, job, and friends may have changed some - but it hasn't changed you. How Much Have You Changed in 10 Years?

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I was just cleaning out my email and saw something funny one of my sister's said about me so I thought I'd share it. =) Yeah, "Hi, officer. I'm here to bail out the woman who murdered a music artist with her 'jiggly goodness'". *smiles at officer*

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Jenn everything might be fun for u but u dont relize all the shit u do to me..Still leaves u at the bottem of the shit pile Iv steped in! The government is the top n Kadys the middle that handed me over to them! See yeah shes accusin me of shit yeah but shes not goin to court n there still tryin to charge me! Does anyone else find that odd? Not to mention there not even tellin her what days to go! Im fuckin screwed lol!! I got your crazy ass on the one hand followin kady everywhere she goes as u snort coke! Cause u know I cant protect her cause Im banned from seeing her due to shit she said! Im goin to be lucky if I get outa this one Cause the government knows how much of a threat I am to them For Iv connected there lies n bullshit Through symbols! See u think u make me look nuts by hackin all my shit! Well news flash your the only crazy one here u even advertise your stalking ways! I just think its funny that u can fuck with my life for about 8 years n the cops dont do noth

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____________________++80_________ ___________________++80__________ _________________++888___________ ________________++888____________ _______________++888_____________ ______________++888______________ ____________+++880_______________ ______=888_++88880++888__________ ____+8888+++8880++888888_________ ___++888++8888+++888888+80_______ ___++88++8888++8888888++88_______ ___++++++888888888888888888______ ____++++++88888888888888888______ ____++++++++000888888888888______ _____+++++++000088888888888______ ______+++++++00088888888888______ _______+++++++088888888888_______ _______+++++++088888888888_______ ________+++++++8888888888________ ________+++++++0088888888________ ________++++++0088888888_________ ________+++++0008888888_______

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.[Nicole]..- -hum gum- - LOL Jeffie says: lol yeah jeff said that he invented a keyboard and its on a site called keyborads-of-the real-fucked-reality.net.org.com.ca.org.hum.gum Lol i found that funny Im off to bed. Nighty Night

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Robert Willis: Do I appear womanly to you? ((..Ashley..)): LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO ((..Ashley..)): hahahahahahahahahha ((..Ashley..)): NO Robert Willis: I donlt think my man boobs are that big either. ((..Ashley..)): hahahahahaa! ((..Ashley..)): oh dear Robert Willis: Why does this always happen to me! ((..Ashley..)): whattt??? ((..Ashley..)): nothing happened ((..Ashley..)): lol Robert Willis: *Insert emotional breakdown here* ((..Ashley..)): what the heck? ((..Ashley..)): =/ Robert Willis: lol ok i'm over it ((..Ashley..)): LMAO THAT WAS WEIRD LMAO..I Love Robert!

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FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blondes driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" the blonde driver finally asked. The blonde Policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The blonde driver finally found a small square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer took a quick look at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop!."

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After I just wrote a blog about how great this place is, I get a taste of the not-so-great that seems to be prevailant in this world no matter where we go. I want to let everyone know that I KNOW I am not the most gorgeous female here. I also know how to make friends with some class and dignity instead of showing all of what God gave me for points. Having said that, and this is no offense to my gay friends, I also KNOW that I am not a faggot as one "man" called me while rating my pic a 1. If you didn't like my looks, why even say anything? And by the way, The Rock, I never visited your page to marry you in the first place. Does it make you feel big when you put someone else down? Do you suffer from little man syndrome? Whatever the case may be, I KNOW not to waste my time givin' you those so coveted cherry points in the future. As for all of the nice people I've met here, I'm glad I've met you :) and I'll continue to support you in all of your creativity. CSC

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Lol, I swear, I'm so fucking retarded... Last night I was tired and sleepy, so naturally I showered and got in bed. As it turns out I couldn't fall asleep. Michael texted me and I told him how I couldn't fall asleep. Lol, so he called (and I really don't think he was supposed to be on the phone) and I started crying because I couldn't fall asleep because he wasn't at my side. Well, at least the call helped, I fell asleep immediately afterwards with my cell still in my hand. I swear my body is fucking with me, making me think I need him by my side so I can fall asleep. But oh well right? Got a few years to get used to it anyway. Love you Michael, so much.

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a friend asked me a minute ago for some good songs and i named off a couple, hes like why do you like them i said they remind me of the past so he asks mst of the past blows why do you want to remember, my only reply was reminds me of where past choices landed me and helps me not to repeat my mistakes, ive always been that way drown myself in music to remember. to change the way im thinking i guess my life pretty much revolves arround music

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i am bored lol so i decied to write another blog thxs to all the people that has shown me luv on here if you comement me or rate me i will do it right back at ya . to exsplain more about my self i am a verry out going person i am up for about anything . i am a verry honest person i dont peek around the bush about crap so if you ask me somthing i will be truthfull about . iam hear to make friends not to hook up with anyone . i like to have fun

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A blind man went to the airport to fly in a small plane and the Pilot asked him,” If you're blind, why do you want to fly?" And the blind man said, he just wanted to have the experience. So off through the skies they went! The pilot had a heart attack and passed out and the blind man felt Around and found the mike and keyed up and said, "Help, help, I'm a blind man flying upside down in a Small plane and the pilot has passed out!" A voice came over the speaker that said, "If you are a blind man, How do you know you're upside down?" The man said, "Because shit is running out of my collar!!!!"

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A husband and wife were sharing a bottle of wine when the husband said, "I bet you can't tell me something which will make me happy and sad at the same time". The wife thought for a few moments, then said, "Your pecker is bigger than your brother's".

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Today is a very sucky day It seems i can't do anything right, And the bad weather is killing my back i don't like this cold ... The kids didn't have school again. my head is pounding and it feels like someone beat me with a ball bat Just another bad day Hope everyone else is haveing a better day than i did so far ........

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OK i thought thats would get your attention, So listen I am new here and I have been uploading photos and I was just wondering how many I can upload before I get to level 6 or are the pic uploads just not workin. Ok thanks. And hit me up so i can get to where i can add some more pics, cause i will def return the fav.

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I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and

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Lena was in bed with her lover, Sven, when she heard Ole's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, Ole lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to Lena: "Hey, der are six feet in dis bed. Der shud only be four. What's going on?" "Nonsense," said Lena, "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. "You can see better from over there."Ole climbed out of bed and counted. "One, too, tree, four. Damn, you're right!!!" >

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awww i came to the office all wet.... it's raining a LOT and probably will rain till thursday :) but i feel well! things are working like i wanted well not all, i need to be honest, but it's something i wont talk about here anyways, enjoy this super 80's classic

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If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? 2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? 3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? 4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? hehehe...... 5. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 6. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? 7. Why is it called building when it is already built? 8. If a book about failures sells, is it a success? 9. If you're not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots? 10. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? 11. If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this???

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The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, ''Why didn't we have drug problem when you and I were growing up?'' I replied: I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather. I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me. I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profane four letter word. I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flowerbeds and cocklebur's out of dad's fields. I w

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Two fleas from Wisconsin had an agreement to meet every winter in Miami for a vacation. Last year when one flea gets to Miami, he's all blue, shivering and shaking, damn near froze to death! The other flea asks him, "What the hell happened to you?" The first flea says, "I rode down here from Milwaukee in the mustache of a guy on a Harley." The other flea responds saying," That's the worst way to travel. Try what I do. Go to the Metro airport bar. Have a few drinks. While you are there, look for a nice stewardess. Crawl up her leg and nestle in where it's warm and cozy. It's the best way to travel that I can think of." The first flea thanks the second flea and says he will give it a try next winter. A year goes by..... When the first flea shows up in Miami he is all blue, and shivering and shaking again. Damn near froze to death. The second flea says, "Didn't you try what I told you?" Yes," says the first flea, "I did exact

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I woke up this morning to the site of snow...thats right it's snowing out as I type this...So I started singing "I'm dreaming of a white ST patty's day" yeah I know corny but I did just woke up lol....So I;m thinking of getting some green food coloring and put it on my front lawn lol ok thats all I had to share my lame thoughts with you wonderful cherries

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Vasectomy: $400. Speechless look on her face: priceless. Date: 2007-02-06, 2:24PM PST I'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago: I got a vasectomy. I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company. I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl. We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully. Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on ab

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I have a big head, and little arms! LMAO... Its a new kiddy movie coming out. I love the T-Rex... He is so cute! I hope he is as adorable as the previews make him out to be... I watch everything on the DVR, since I hate commercials. I rewound that preview 100 times just to watch him say that... LOL ~Tasha Sooooo extremly bores, someone shoot me please... Perty pwease?

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Someone marked my butt shot NSFW lol...Its not even my ass in panties...some people are friggin hilarious. i've included the link...i dont think its nsfw..but whatever http://cherrytap.com/viewimage.php?u=154473&albumid=0&i=463766324

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I'm not here for ratings or points..Just here to talk to ppl..So whoever just rated me a 1 from a 10..U DIDN'T HURT MY FEELINGS!!!! Goes to show how immature you really are!!!If you dont like it..DONT LOOK!!!! What a baby!!! P.s. Pssstt I know who did it!!!! *wink*

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fucik her... i already did... dumb cunt thinkin' she's on the shit... couldn't wait to get away from that shit... buried in sin and that's where i begin... got a lisa sized migraine and my wallet's getting thin... fuck you, baby, i'm not lazy, you drove me crazy... then i kicked your door in... i want nothing to do with you because of the shit you put me through... get gone on your own way, cuz i'm happy that we're through... dumb fucking bitch, my daughter needs way more than she can have with a dumb cunt like you

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Computer problems & customer service This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Help line which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without cause." This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer support employee (now I know why they record these conversations) Employee --"Rich H. computer assistance; may I help you?" Customer--"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." Employee --"What sort of trouble?" Customer--" Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." Employee --"Went away?" Customer--" They disappeared." Employee --"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?" Customer--" Nothing." Employee --"Nothing?" Custo

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last night i had a wicked dream and i woke up ith this stupid saying in my mind... i was here but now im gone i left my home to carry on those who knew me knew me well those who didnt can go to hell now whatever that means or why i was saying it over and over in my mind i have no idea

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So, for the most part...I blend in with the people I supervise and so...sometimes...things happen in front of me that shouldn't... Like...just now...I was outside with my friend (another administrator here) and this kid walks up to the back of the building and just starts peeing on the wall. So, I'm like uhhhh....you've got to be kidding.... He was humiliated. I told him he needed to stop and get his ID and my friend made him sanitize his hands before letting him hand the ID to me... Sometimes...my job...is just absurd...by the way, in case you're interested...the sanction for this "crime" is going to be washing the exterior of the building and scrubbing the steps...oh, and writing an apology letter to the people who live above the window he peed under. Some shit makes me laugh...

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I WAS MESSIN AROUND WITH SOME FRIENDS TODAY AND AS USUAL THE PHRASE LOL GETS MENTIONED ALOT, NOW HERE'S THE PART THAT WILL HAVE YOU ALL LAUGHING EVERYTIME YOU SEE THOSE THREE LITTLE LETTERS, SUDDENLY IT HIT ME THAT LOL ALSO STANDS FOR LOUD ORGASMIC LOVER. THINK ABOUT THAT THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE TYPES LOL TO YOU.

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Sagittarius You are fun loving and independent, and you don’t like any of your partners to get in the way of that. You enjoy having a lot of flings and short term relationships because you get bored in a long term one. In bed you are demanding of your partner. You want to have hot sex all of the time. You also like to experiment sexually, with different positions and fantasies. Sex matches: Aries, Leo, Libra Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

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diamond gems@ CherryTAP has been giein a clue from the cherry shop....for her commet...:fine donbury the surviors..let the animals eat em...lol for shiny hearts sent to anyone anonymously how much is 3+4+2+5+6+4+23++6+7+5+++7+8+9+

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Really, I should not have to make an effort to bring the kids to their father since it is his responsibility to come and see the kids or have them for a few weeks. He did'nt divorce me, I divorced his ass. And in all actuality, to cover a few things here, before me and Jacob even came to Italy, yes, we were again separated for sometime but that was only because we were waiting on orders thru the military to get us to Italy. But everyone can go ahead and think that I was just waisting my time and enjoying my singledom away from my ex husband....I guess some people actually think that I was purposely doing this so that me and my ex could not be a family again. Whatever! Yeah, well, at this point in time I can see that some people just get so stupid by posting emails that I send to them on their own blogs....WOW, some people just go really too far and it is just too funny. But that is okay, they can do what they want to at this point. All I can do is say that "you are the joke and

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A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat, 'I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' And it worked! The headaches are all gone." The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful." His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. I have an idea - why don't you go see the hypnotist, and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife in his arms, and quickly carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes late

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You scored as Soft. You are nice and soft, you love everyone and everyone loves you, while you are fiery or too exciting, you are always pleasant.Soft81%Exciting75%Sweet63%Hot63%Shy38%Wet25%Violent19%Awkward13%What is your sexual style?created with QuizFarm.com

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A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night goes to his mother with the following question. "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?" The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure." The son thanks his mom and goes off to double-check this with his father. "Dad why are wedding dresses white?" The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."

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A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!

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funny This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you >skip any, you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly >all true!!!! > > > > ================================= > > > > Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? > > > > Female customer: A white one... > > > > =============== > > > > Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. > > > > Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? > > > > Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. > > > > Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. > > > > Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still >on my desk... sorry.... > > > > =============== > > > > Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the >screen. > > > > Customer: Your left or my left? > > > > =============== > > > > Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? > > > > Male customer: Hello... I can't print. > > > > Tech support

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One day a teenager came home with his girlfriend and his brother slept on the bottom bunk bed, so he had to go on the top, during the middle of the night they started kissing,and then was making love, and the teenager asked the girl if she wanted to go harder say tomato and if she wanted to go easier say lettuce, so she said tomato.... lettuce...tomato..lettuce...tomato...and then the little boy on the bottom bunk said, "Stop squishing sandwiches, your getting manaise on me!"

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This one is amazing... word is Kevin Federline's ex, Shar Jackson, is pregnant with his child. That would make three kids they have together and a whopping five kids for Kevin. A close friend of Shar's tells Star magazine, "Shar told me, 'I'm pregnant, I just know it. I know when I have a baby inside of me!'" Shar says she was about three weeks gone, because that was the last time she slept with Kevin..." The friend added that Shar got a positive result from a home pregnancy test, which was confirmed by a visit to her gyne- cologist a few days later; currently she's about 6 weeks along.

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okay, if i'm delayed later to be back home, it's because a group of people is on strike right at the main door of the bank, and they are not going to open the doors lol they are claiming to another company something we can't understand either (they scream and you don't understand a crap) anyways, lol i'll be around

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This story happened a while ago in Oban, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's true. Jimmy Bradford, a Glasgow University student, was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. The night was rolling on and no cars went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car slowly coming up behind him and stopped. Jimmy, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door, just to realise there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on! The car started moving slowly. Jimmy looked at the road and saw a curve approaching beyond which was a loch. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the steering wheel. Jimmy, paralysed with terror, watched how the hand repeatedly came through the window but never harmed him. Shortly thereafter Jim

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2007-06-19 19:38:47 well that pretty much sucked! we haven't had server failures like that in a couple months, i suppose we deserved it. ;) site should be stabilizing now, it might be a little weird while some stuff catches back up, but should be normal in 15-30 minutes. it's beer o'clock! -mike

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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST > She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. > Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. > Her daughter is on the cover of Vogue. > Her boyfriend is on the cover of Business Week. > And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

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oops posted this in the wrong blog. DUH! My momma just asked me if i was pregnant. Ugh! I got a bowl of ice cream and put pretzels on it..I looked at her and said NO mother, I'm not. You actually have to be HAVING SEX to get pregnant. DUH! And she should know better, even if I was having sex - I couldnt get preggers anyways. DUH!!! Oh well - that was part of my funnyness today.

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As you know I am selling some of my Brand New Leather items from stock on Ebay. Haven't really done well on it because apparently most on Ebay want me to give it away, for example: I have a Leather Bustier that retails for $49.99 at the starting bid of $19.99 so if it sells for that I am loosing money. I just was asked if the Panty came with the Bustier.....Which it doesn't say it does in the description but not only does this idiot want it cheap he wants extra stuff too... I can not win...Please tell all your friends and go look at my ebay items :) http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZwylde_enterprisesQQhtZ-1

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An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for a client who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him about, "What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been?" "Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it." And on and on and on. Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he drug himself up the stairs. While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight. Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upsta

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THE GOOD NAPKINS...ahhhhh...the joys of having Girls... My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for "special occasions" (her second mistake). Now fast forward a few months....It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occas

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A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," Where a small knob is placed on the top of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course the woman wanted "The Knob." Over the course of the years, the woman kept tightening the Knob, the effects were wonderful, and the woman remained young-looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now, I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes And the knob won't get rid of them ...." The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts." "Well," She said, "I guess there's no point in asking about the goatee."

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dontcha find urself laughin at a wannabe player?? i find them 2 b positively hilarious, wen they think u hav no clue and r n the dark bout everything! yet u knew their so-called game even b4 they played it. seriously, playing a game sloppy will get u caught always, u can never hide from it. wats really funny is they xpect u 2 keep blievin their lies and stories...but wats really funny is wen they tell u one thing then tell another person the complete opposite of wat u've been told...then they just leave it out there n plain sight 4 u 2 c...c'mon, they think they r all that and more, yet cant play freakin UNO right if given the chance!!! LMAO once again another amusing side 2 ppl, of which they think is 100% authentic player!!! TFF!!!!

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I just wanted to add another as pure randomness just to amuse you people. LOL Little Truffle Shuffle for ya? ;) A magnet I have that cracks me up...No Offense :) And this kid is gonna be a heartbreaker when he hits legal age! lol and for all the new people who just added me I'm really not that cranky lol Ask my frind Paul, go listen to his voice comments I left him (hahaha I know you're gonna commet on this) I'm trying to get back with all of you. sorry it's hard to. Shoot me an email I'll reply back. I don't bite :)well too hard.

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HIM: Hooray! Finally! I can't wait any more! HER: Maybe I should go? HIM: No, Don't even think about it! HER: Do you love me? HIM: Sure! HER: Have you ever cheated me? HIM: No, how could you ever think a thing like this? HER: Will you kiss me? HIM: Yes , of course! HER: Will you beat me? HIM: No way! HER: Can I trust you? After marriage: read from bottom to top !!

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**from the thoughtful mind of a dear friend ~ mooney** Okay, I understand how scissors beats paper, and I get how rock beats scissors, but how in the hell does paper beat rock? Paper is supposed to magically "wrap around" rock, leaving it immobile? Then why cant paper do this to scissors? In fact, screw scissors! Why cant paper do this to people? Why arent sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating little five-year olds as they attempt to take notes in class? Ill tell you why! Its because paper cant beat anybody! And rock would tear that shit up in about 2 seconds! When I play "Rock, Paper, Scissors," I always choose rock. Then, when someone claims they've beaten me with their paper, I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Aw, shit! I'm sorry, I thought your paper would protect you!"

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->Suga Lips: I'm gonna say no to this one capshawks6...: are you single ->Suga Lips: nope but thanks for being concerned capshawks6...: are you horny? Now..I said no because...in my heart I'm not single & I can say whatever the hell I want :D.

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A koala is sitting up a gum tree ... smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says, "Hey Koala ! What are you doing?" The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?" The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "H

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people just can't find humor in anything anymore. thought this site was suppose to be fun so i posted a mummm out of amusement and wow some of the responses all i can say at some people is LMAO take a pill find humor again and move on Edit... ok this is just stupid A mum you have posted has been removed by the 'fubar' admins. This mum was removed because it was either offensive or NSFW (Not Safe For Work) in nature. Please read the Terms Of Service. NSFW CONTENT IS NOT ALLOWED in the public areas of 'fubar'. This mum removal has been recorded and your account will be deleted if it happens again. it wasn't NSFW since all the mum said was talk to me i don't bite then the votes were ok lets chat and Nah not here to talk.. wth people come on lol adult site but some adults just go a little to far

9-22-07 Lol
You are in a forgiving mood, but even if everyone is on their best behavior you'll still manage to enjoy the good energy. It's a great day to settle an old feud or begin a relationship all over again. ----------------------------------------------------- Damn, hell yeah for good times. Disputes I don't have the want to deal with. Kisses!!! ROFLMAO!!!

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I just got off the phone with the court in Albuquerque and after talking for what seemed like forever I told them that since I wass gonna have to go to jail that they would have to just come and get my ass. But they said that they wouldnt spend that kinda money on me lol! So i told them that I'd be there sometime close to Christmas. At least this way I know I'll get an early x-mas kick out lol!! fuck them assholes

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A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked. "Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer." "Correct," replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place."

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DAMN THOSE SEXY EYES, THAT NICE SMILE THAT VOICE THAT WALK THAT ASS,AND THAT STYLE... WELL ENOUGH ABOUT ME!!! HOW ARE YOU DOIIN?? LOL J/K PASS THIS TO 10 PPL U CARE ABOUT INCLUDING ME IF U CARE SEND THIS TØ ALL YØUR SEXY ASS FRIENDS SØ __ __ THEY KNØW YØU THINK THEY'RE HØT AS HELL!! __ _______________________________________________ __.d8888b.__8888888888_Y88b___d88P_Y88b___d88P_ _d88P__Y88b_888_________Y88b_d88P___Y88b_d88P__ _Y88b.______888__________Y88o88P_____Y88o88P___ __"Y888b.___8888888_______Y888P_______Y888P____ _____"Y88b._888___________d888b________888_____ _______"888_888__________d88888b_______888_____ _Y88b__d88P_888_________d88P_Y88b______888_____ __"Y8888P"__8888888888_d88P___Y88b_____888_____ _______________________________________________ ___IF U GØT 1 BAk THEN U ARE a DALLAS COWBOY FAN____ _________PITIFUL!!!________________ _______________________________________________ _____IF U GØT 2 BAK UR BETTER THAN UGLY_______ ___________________

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This is about showing everyone how much you care for them and HOW BAD YOU WANT THEIR ASS! Make everyone feel a little loved (and roughed up!). Please don't take this too personally, BUT I JUST FUCKED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> F.U.C.K Stands For: Friends U Can Keep. So promise me we'll F.U.C.K forever! Send this to 10 people & 1 back to me. To know who your true F.U.C.Ks are ""9,675,000,000 people in this world && yet i ended up with your crazy ass as a friend?Damn,Im lucky!-lol-Send this to everyone you love. Get 1 back-ppl feel sorry for you Get 2 back-You have a couple true friends Get 3 back-You aight Get 4 back-Your loved Get 5 back-Your adored Get 6 or more-Damn your a celebrity!

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A 10 year old boy was watching a movie on the couch with his mom when an adult scene came up he asked her "Mom,what are they doing"?She replied "they're baking a cake". The next day she took him to the zoo,and when they walked by thew monkey cage 2 monkeys were mating.The boy asked"Mom,what are they doing"?She again replied"they are baking a cake".The boy asked "like you and daddy baked a cake last night"?"How do you know about that"she asked him. He answered"this morning I went into your room and licked the icing off the bed".

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You are a Rocker Girl! If you don't have musical talent, you've got a talent for picking out great CD's. Music rules your life - and you've got the best MP3 collection of anyone you know. Many guys find you intimidating, but a select few think you're the catch of a lifetime. Start hanging out in more used record stores, and you'll find love with a fellow rocker! What Kind of Girl Are You?

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What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.)created with QuizFarm.comYou scored as The Femme Fatale You're carefree, dark and adventurous...and slightly fatale to the heart.The Femme Fatale85% The Little-Boy Dyke75% The Quasi-Gothic Femme50% The Student Dyke45% The Stud35% The Granola Dyke35% The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke30% The Surprise! Dyke20% The Hipster Dyke15% The Magic Earring Ken Dyke15% The Bohemian Dyke

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Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing - imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who ju st are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try. BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN 4 - 5 lb. Chicken 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.) 1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT) Salt/pepper to taste Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven. Listen for the popping sounds. When the chicken's ass blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it's done. And, you thought I couldn't cook...

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A BIZARRE INTERVIEW TECHNIQUE A man walks into a building and tells the manager that he wants to join their organization. The manager says, "Okay, but there is one rule you have to follow. You cannot get an erection while you are trying to join this group." The man says O.K. He is stripped of his clothing. A bell is tied around his penis and he is put into a room with nine other men who are also trying to join. Then a naked woman is sent walking across the room and nine bells are quiet, and his is ringing away. The man begs for another chance and is given this chance. The woman walks by again and again the man's bell rings again. The manager says to the man, "Pick up your stuff and go. You are unfit for this organization." As the man bends down to pick up his stuff, the other nine bells start ringing

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angel eyes CT wife to Jay 'bob vila' ~GIT-R-DONE REBEL FAMILY BOMBSQUAD~@ fubar *SwEeTCaNDy~I LuV 4 U 2 LuSt Me*@ fubar puddinpop@ fubar ♥SwtKitty♥ (READ Profile 1st before you Add me!)@ fubar igotnicetitties@ fubar $DJ BABY BOY$ ~DJ FOR THE GIT-R-DONE REBEL FAMILY & BOMBSQUAD~{ DIRTY SOUTH CREW}

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1.Code word for sex A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter. One day the husband told his five year old daughter, "Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter". The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what mommy said. A few days later the mom told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now." The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand." 2.An old man a boy and a donkey An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man W

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A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me." Confused, the father asked what was wrong. The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech. If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."

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The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!Here is how you matched up against all the levels:LevelScorePurgatory (Repenting Believers)Very LowLevel 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very LowLevel 2 (Lustful)Very HighLevel 3 (Gluttonous)HighLevel 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)ModerateLevel 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)ExtremeLevel 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very High

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Huh! I'm outa luck, outa love Gotta photograph, picture of Passion killer, you're too much You're the only one I wanna touch I see your face every time I dream On every page, every magazine So wild so free so far from me You're all I want, my fantasy Oh, look what you've done to this rock 'n' roll clown Oh Oh, look what you've done Photograph - I don't want your Photograph - I don't need your Photograph - All I've got is a photograph But it's not enough I'd be your lover, if you were there Put your hurt on me, if you dare Such a woman, you got style You make every man feel like a child You got some kinda hold on me You're all wrapped up in mystery So wild so free so far from me You're all I want, my fantasy Oh, Look what you've done to this rock'n'roll clown Oh Oh, Look what you've done You've gone straight to my head

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Female Compassion. A man was lying on a blanket at the beach He had no arms or legs. Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man. The first woman said " Have you ever had a hug" The man said "No", So she gave him a hug and walked on. The second woman said "Have you ever had a kiss". The man said "No", So she gave him a kiss and walked on. The third woman walked over to him, knelt down and whispered in his ear, "Have you ever been Fucked? The fellow looked up in amazement and said "No" The woman smiled and said "You will be when the tide comes in."

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Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||| 53% Stability |||||||||| 36% Orderliness |||||||||||||||| 63% Accommodation |||| 16% Interdependence |||||||||||| 50% Intellectual |||||||||||||||||| 76% Mystical |||||||||||||||||| 76% Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Religious || 10% Hedonism |||||||||||||||||||| 90% Materialism |||||||||||||||| 63% Narcissism |||||||||||||||||| 76% Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||||| 83% Work ethic |||||||||||||||||| 76% Self absorbed |||||||||||||||||| 76%

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I can't help but laugh whenever I read about some guy who came to the club expecting a whorehouse. Guys, I go to the club to get fucked. Now, I know you do too, so why is that you AREN'T getting lucky? The Reel One club is just that. A great place to meet people in a pleasant social environment, get to know them, and deciding whether or not to get more intimately involved. I know I speak for most of the ladies when I itemize things that will NOT get your johnson drained: You are NOT Don Juan, so don't try to impress me that you are. Be yourself, first, foremost, and actual. REAL turns me on, not the size of your willie! Don't go to the club expecting to get screwed. You might, but it's not going to be a guaranteed sure thing. You actually have to let someone get to know you, get turned on by you, and then invite you. Whipping your dick out in someone's face might just get it bit! Or worse, laughed at! Opening lines should NOT start with, "Wanna go get a room

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Fat guy gets out of the shower at the YMCA. His buddy looks at him and says "Gawd Damn, How long has it been since you seen your dick?" Fat guy says " It's been a long damn time" His buddy says "Well why don't you diet!" Fat guy says "Why, what color is it now?"

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Good day mates Dj here from the land down under inviting you to come and join me in Guardians of hell the one and only kope lounge! Where the women are hot and crikey the men are crazy! Click the pic below to enter!! Mention ur having a good time to me and i'll buy u a drink mabye even more if you subscribe

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Answer the questions after you read them and see if you get them right. Don't go back and delete what you thought the answer was. Can't wait to see the answers. 1.When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I? 2.A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I? 3.I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts. What am I? 4.I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard. What am I? 5.All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I? 6.I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. What am I? 7.If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I? 8.I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I? 9.I assist an erection.

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lol ok so he tells me ma mams family from scotland ! and proud of it ! he allso tells me! ma da's fam from ulster lol and is sooo aparentley he tells me this combination makes him ! british pure bred lol ummm does this pic look fimillar? but no matter how u look at it hes an awsome dj come on in and meet DJ!

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These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York city public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny! 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. Your child has delusions of adequacy. 4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 5.Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. 6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together. 7. This child has been working with glue too much. 8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell. 9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming. 10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. 11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others. 12. The wheel is turning but the h

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C’mon, me tell me what it do, I do it for the ‘A’. When the top drop, rock the platinum Cardier. Got that Microsoft, so they call me Bill Gates.Ice links around my neck, lookin’ like I build gates. I’m Mista Amoco, yea I got the pumps.Pockets on swoll, lookin’ like they got the mumps.Im ‘bout my change, gotta get the riches.From the look of thangs ya’ll gettin’ J.C. pennies.Pass dat Patron, the limes’ right der. Rock with it, lean with in my nik’er.Wink my eye at cha bitch, now wishing now she could touch.See the J’s on my feet and she love the diamond cuts.Fresh to death, everyday, like I jumped up outta caskets.Ask Chino Dolla about that dope boi magic.Connected like apartments, keep one in the cartridge.Chevy seats ostrich, name in the carpet.I mix Patron and ever glow, I call it antifreeze.Take one sip a drop off to her knees. Mista V.I.P, get like me. Ice piece on white beat’, I call it Iced-t.Cush by the seven’s I call it Mike Vic. She call me officer I hit her with my nightsti

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Subject: WATCH WHAT YOU SAY Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did.... FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word...he knew better. SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls" THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the disp

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Marriage is a three ring circus. An engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffer-ring Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked A dietitian was addressing a large audience in Chicago: "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous to some and none of us realize the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75 year old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake." If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in f

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REPLY IN A PRIVATE MESSAGE. DONT BE AFRAID. YOU NEVER KNOW WHO WILL REPLY OR WHAT ANSWERS THEY WILL GIVE. LET THE FUN BEGIN........ Your Name: Age: Favorite position: Do you think I'm cute/ pretty? Would you have sex with me? lights on or off? Would you have to be drunk? Would you take a shower with me? Have you ever thought about having sex with me? Would you leave after or stay the night? Do you like cuddling afterwards? Condom or skin? Have sex on the first date? Would you kiss me during sex? Do you think I would be good in bed? Would you use me as a booty call? Can I use you as a booty call? Can we take pictures of the act? How long would we have sex? Would you tell your friends about me? Would you want me for a b/f , g/f or friend? Will you post this so I can fill it out for you? SEE HOW MANY PE

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NINE CHRISTIAN "CURES" FOR MASTURBATION by Leigh Rutledge During the Victorian era, masturbation was the focus of extraordinary anxiety among doctors and parents; "curing" it became an obsession. The hysteria surrounding the subject was fueled by righteous moralists who regarded masturbation as a worse sin than adultery, and by quack doctors who claimed that the loss of a single ounce of semen through masturbation was more debilitating to the body than the loss of several ounces of blood. One Victorian-era physician listed no fewer than 47 dire consequences of the act. Masturbation was believed to cause every thing from acne and epilepsy to mental retardation and death. Hoping to eradicate this "scourge of young manhood," parents subjected their children to dozens of torturous cures. 1. CASTRATION Recalcitrant young masturbators were sometimes castrated to annihilate their sex urge. In some cases, the entire penis was amputated and voodoo-istic doctors used ni

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Police arrest man running on trail in thong LINCOLN, Neb.- Lincoln police have a message for local joggers with exhibitionist tendencies: The thong is wrong. Police arrested a man on Saturday night for running on a Lincoln bike trail in his thong underwear. Police say the 26-year-old man was arrested for indecent exposure. Officers said they found him running around Holmes Lake wearing his socks, shoes and, of course, the thong. Police: Argument over nickname ends in stabbing An argument over a nickname reportedly led Wichita police to a residence where they say a 44-year-old woman stabbed a 19-year-old with a butcher knife Friday. Sgt. Lem Moore said in a police briefing this afternoon that nine people were gathering in the 3000 block of Old Lawrence Road, when two young men began arguing who should be able to use the nickname "C-Thug." The woman, who was a resident of the house, intervened and stabbed the 19-year-old in the back, Moore said. The man w

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My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.' On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.' She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.' To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray-up, Bitch

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There was a little boy whose mother was about to have a baby. One day, the little boy walked in and saw his mother naked. He asked his mother what the hair between her legs was. She responded, "It's my wash cloth." Weeks later, after the mother had her baby, the young boy walked in on his mother again. While she was in the hospital, the doctor had shaved her pubic hair. The boy asked, "What happened to your wash cloth?" The mother responded, "I lost it." The little boy, trying to be helpful, set out to find his mother's washcloth. A few days later, he ran to his mother yelling and screaming, "I found your washcloth." The mother, thinking that the child was just playing, went along with the boy and asked, "Where did you find it?" The boy answered, "The maid has it! She is washing daddy's face with it."

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> Subject: LOL > > > Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of > tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter. > > The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how > old are you?" > > "Eight," the boy replied. > > The man continued, "Do you know what these are used > for?" > > The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for > me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's > four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able > to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do > either.”

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is it me or is a lot of the stuff on here pretty funny? i literally find myself cracking up at the content of most of the mumms and such. puts a smile to the face, of course, but its all so random...and unusual. ha. keeps me entertained.

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I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.' I was stunned and

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A woman keeps asking her husband if her boobs are so small. ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'' she asks The next day her husband buys her a mirror. Before bed, she always looks in the mirror and asks her husband, ''Does this shirt make them look bigger? Does this one make them look smaller?'' Finally he gets so annoyed that he says, ''I know how to make them larger!'' ''How!?!?!?'' she asks ''Take a bunch of toilet paper and rub it in between your boobs.'' ''Well how long does it take?'' she asks. ''They should expand over the years,'' he answers ''How did you know that?'' she wonders. ''I dunno, but it sure worked for your ass, didn't it?'''

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IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME AND A LOUNGE WITH GREAT PEOPLE IN IT TO WORK FOR THEN CLICK ANY OF THE PICS ON THIS BULLY AND COME APPLY FOR A JOB !!! WE NEED D.J.'S AND PROMOTERS (MUST BE DEPENDABLE AND EXPERIENCED !!!!!) IF YOU LIKE THE BULLETIN COME CHECK ME OUT BY CLICKING THE SKULL PIC !!!! (repost of original by '[NSFW] Thom~H.A.D.E.S. Founder?Missys R/L man ?' on '2008-04-30 13:02:21')

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People are hilarious. I have some 50 year old loser trying to insult ME by telling me I suck! HAHAHA of course I do and im DAMN good at it. thats not a insult! Loser you cant call me something im not. you cant say im fat cause im not. you cant say im ugly cause im not, you cant say your more responsible then I am, cause your not.None of this is making me pissed off or upset in any way. in fact its making me laugh my ass off. thank you i needed some humor.

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25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.' 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . 'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!' 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. ' Because I said so, that's why.' 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . 'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me.' 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.' 7. My mother taught me IRONY 'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.' 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.' 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . 'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!

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Drunk as Hell A wife was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband's key in the door. "Stay where you are," she said. "He's so drunk he won't even notice you're in bed with me." Sure enough, the husband lurched into bed none the wiser, but a few minutes later, through a drunken haze, he saw six feet sticking out at the end of the bed. He turned to his wife: "Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What's going on?" "Nonsense," said the wife. "You're so drunk you miscounted. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there." The husband climbed out of bed and counted. "One, two, three, four. Damn, you're right."

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Whats the deal with the price of oil? Whats the deal with haters still on obama? Whats the deal with mullets? Whats the deal with haten ass motherfuckers? Whats the deal with it standing on end? Whats the deal with all the companies failing? Whats the deal with all the political Scandles? Whats the deal with all the racism? whats the deal with bacon not turning out the same every time you cook it? Whats the deal with Tv having really shitty programs lately Whats the deal with computers crashing randomly?

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9 Things I Hate About Everyone...(came from old email but still funny) 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room forthe tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass! 5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor. 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7.

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Fourth Marriage A woman, married three times, walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding. "Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and color are you looking for?" The bride to be said: "A long frilly white dress with a veil." The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice ?" "Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first time bride. You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into ou

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BOOTY CALL APPLICATION.....LOL Name_________ Age___ Phone(____) _______ Occupation______________ Height______ Weight______ Gender(M/F)___ Married(Y/N)__ Single(Y/N)___ Other_________ How often do you like to have sex? (check appropriate answer) Daily__ Weekly__ Monthly__ As much as possible__ How long can u last (check appropriate answer) 1min ___ 15min__ 30min__ 1hr__ All nite___ Do u like giving oral sex(Y/N)___ Which do u prefer (check appropriate box) One on one__ Doubles__ Group___ While having sex, what do u do (check all appropriate answers) Faint__ Cry__ Moan__ Wiggle__ Twist__ Jerk about__ Pant__ Sweat___ Scream__ Hum__ Whistle__ Just lie there__ Go to sleep__ Watch tv__ Read__ Think of someone else___ List three positions u like: 1._______ 2.______ 3.________ What is ur preferred pace (check appropriate answer) Slow__ Fast__ Very fast__ Rigorous___ When is the best time to reach u (check appropriate answer) Morn

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I am alive. Lost as always, but hopeful, now more than ever. I have someone who makes me smile no matter what. I have a daughter I love more than anything. And I have the entire world open before me and full of possibilities. I am going far away, as I seem to often do. And I will miss those who matter, just as much as I am sure I will be missed by the same. I will not forget, nor will I be forgotten, and for that I am truly grateful. To my fu-fam (and you know who you are ;) ), I luvs ya all wif all my middle heart. To my firends on here, I'm coming back, and I 'm coming back just as much of a smartass as I am now, so prepare yourselves in advance :D. And to all who don't matter, and if you aren't sure, it's probably you: You will never understand, don't bother pretending you do The only one you're making a fool out of, is you Later, Loves ya, Out.

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International Rules Of Manhood 1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss' car.(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".(e) When she is using her teeth.3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies. 4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her. 6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must

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You're a Detective! Just call you Sherlock Holmes! Your love of complicated concepts is reflected in the way you spend your free time. Detectives tend to like reading, chess, word games – anything that stretches their mental muscle. Science-related activities, such as astronomy and computers fascinate Detectives! Mysteries, puzzles, brain-teasers and Sudoku can keep you happy for hours. You would rather play with ideas than objects. Your natural curiosity shapes your hobbies and interests. You easily use both deduction and intuition to solve a problem – as long as you discover the answer, you're satisfied. Detectives can find a great partner in any of the Interest types, but tend to work best with other Detectives, as well as DIYers and Artists.

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Your results:You are Batman Batman 90% Hulk 85% Green Lantern 75% Iron Man 65% Superman 60% Supergirl 60% Catwoman 50% Wonder Woman 45% Robin 45% The Flash 40% Spider-Man 25% You are dark, love gadgets and have vowed to help the innocentnot suffer the pain you have endured. Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

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: BUY SWEETIE!!! XOXO!!!->Snazziii**...: LOL your views*? Yeah we can go with that..itwas fun...enjoy your day nowSnazziii**...: AW SWEETIE. I THOUGHT U WAS TIRING OF ME. I CAN SPELL FINE BUT I CHOOSE TO SPELL THE WAY I DO BECUZ I WANT TO && CAN && IF THATS ALL U HAVE TO SAY ABOUT ME I TAKE IT AS CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM && HAVE EXPLAINED MY VIWS->Snazziii**...: neybe not...except I can spell...want me to teach ya? or shall we call it a daySnazziii**...: BECUZ U KNO ME SO WELL YET U ENTERT6AIN URSELF WIT ME. MAYB WE'RE NOT SO DIFFERANT->Snazziii**...: no I just bore quickly with common idiots like yourselfSnazziii**...: O A QUITER. XOXO->Snazziii**...: LOL i knew that would be your comeback..you are so predictablethis is n longer fun...byebye nowSnazziii**...: THATS FUNNII CUZ I BEEN WIT THE SAME GUY FOR 5 YRS SO REALLII. LMAO->Snazziii**...: men*]->Snazziii**...: no i am the one using you as free entertainment...you know kinda like the med in your lifeSnazziii**...: UR THE ONE FEEDING I

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You know.. I've been doing some thinking about Fubar and the men on it.. How they only want the very young looking girls...just a few things to ponder...Their 16 will get you 5 to 10 in some states..and a 6 x 9...Women of my age will give you a hardon that is legal... you choose.. IS IT REALLY WORTH IT? I THINK NOT. AND THINK ABOUT THIS.. IF 30S ARE THE NEW 20S...THEN THAT MAKES 20S THE NEW 10S.. JUST TOSSING THAT IN THERE.

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I guess i'm still learning this site. i didn't know you could have separate blog lists but oh well. Anyways i have been tempted to go to the beach these past few days. I'd like to go crabbing and cook some up along with shark. But i mainly want to try shark because i have never had it. I have also heard it is delicious. Anyways i am almost done fixing up my car I just need to get some of the metal sanded down to get it where i need it. I also have to take a class so i can get acess to the machine shop on base so i can bore out, hone, and shave the deck on my buick block. I can't wait for the block to be milled so i can put all the performance parts i want on it.

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A guy took his blond girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, the guy asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," the blonde replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, at the beginning, they flipped a coin. One team got it and then for the rest of the game, everyone kept screaming 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, Helloooooooooooo - it's only 25 cents!"

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ur lips pressed against my lips,ur hands on my hips,our hearts beat as one,as all our pain is undone,u take my breath away,i want u to forever stay,u r everything i could wish for,uv picked my heart up off the floor,u take my hand,as united we stand,we fight for our happiness,trying to destroy our lonliness,how i wish u were here,so,u can wipe away my lonely tear!

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!!!!WARNING!!!!!! Fubar will automatically scan your brain through your monitor. To block, go to Kitchen Cabinets Upper Right Drawer then REMOVE box that says "Aluminum Foil." Wrap all remaining foil around your head. Fubar kept this one quiet, Copy and paste into your status to warn all friends

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hey this just an exspression ive been wantin to let out ... if u take it to heart then u guilty .... why do people say this then that but then neva keep they word...... im here for u and i have always been here .... but u let other things get u excited .... so the lines an the bullshit miss me with it .... im finna show u this an that an give u lovins but neva really cared .... so let me tell u this .... u can skip the bs tell it to the next ....... so when u smile just no i got yr game .... i feel sorry for the next .... im happy now cuz ive found my true love .... maybe someday u will notice its to late

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I usually totally ignore people in my shouts I dont know every now and then I cant help myself this is one of those times budxxx HEEEYYYYYY do you like oral ???? me Oh EM G I sure do and I am really really good at it too !! budxxx hmmmmmm I bet you are baby are you going to prove it? me oh I sure am are you ready ? me ok ...keep in mind I am kind of nervous budxxx no need to be nervous baby just let yourself go wild me alright here goes..... you sure you are ready ? me FUCK YOU !! me was that not just absoulutely the best oral EVER ?? budxxx oh so you are one of them cunty bitch types me yup just as much as you are one of those perverted idiot types me have a great night bye bye now budxxx fuck you bitch my work here is done

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"Hi Mom, it's me." "Hi Sally, are you okay? Aren't you with your father at the Ace Hardware?" "Yeah, I was, but I got arrested and they've let me make one phone call." "What happened?" "Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the face." "What on earth... Why did you do that???" "Well, it really wasn't my fault." "Dad told me to find a

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A boy is at school and he hears the older kids talking about pussy, and their bitch. The boy confused by this goes to his mother. â€œMomâ€, the boy asks, â€œWhatâ€™s a pussy?â€The mother being startled by this thinks quick and finds the closest dictionary and opens it up to a picture of a cat and says â€œSon, that is a pussy.â€ the son then asks â€œWhatâ€™s a bitch?â€ The mother again thinking quickly opens to a picture of a dog and says â€œSon, this is a bitch.â€The son walks away still confused, and sees his father watching television. The son walks up to his father and says â€œDad, whatâ€™s a pussy?â€ The father doesnâ€™t want to miss the baseball game so he quickly whips out his Penthouse magazine to the centerfold, grabs a marker and draws a circle around the vagina and says â€œSon, this is a pussy!â€The son, now starting to unders

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i hate posers that call people fakes...talk about a kill joy. i mean what exactly am i faking anyway lol! and if i were lame why do i have a high rating ... unless u of course are a fat ugly man behind a massive computer i see no need for u to insult me. well i am just saying nice try to get me down. to tell the truth ur insults just make me laugh at how childish some people can still be.. i know i am not the "sexiest" man in the world but i am at east attractive enought to have had three ways with beautifull women my own age. i get flirted with constantly and ect ect... so there for im not fake but real... and u are jealous lol how adorable..... u little fukin little posers!:) dont hate on people is all im saying.

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It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 times the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster than a man's. Women blink 2x as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. The woman has read this entire text. The man is still looking at his thumb. HAHAHA!!!

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A man walks into a bar and immediately realizes its a gay bar. He thinks to himself I'm not gay but I really want to drink so he walks up to the bar. The bartender asks " what's the name of ur penis?" The man says "man get out of my face, I'm not like that, just give me a beer." The bartender replies "I'm sorry sir but I can't serve you until u tell me the name of your penis." The man says "okay what's the name of your penis?" The bartender realizes ' mine is named nike, you know Just do it." The man thought for a moment then replied " mine is named secret." The bartender replied "Secret?" The man explained you know, "strong enough for a man, made for a woman."

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Hey famYou know who it is I aint trippin when.. I said fubar is my life (my life) I said fubar is my life (my life) Yeah [Chorus:] Log into fuNew bling looks niceLive broadcasting all night, Baby you can be in my shout box all night (all night) Baby you can be in my shout box all night (all night) Yeah Baby i can treat you so special, so nice come into PDP, Chill for the nightBaby this place is alright (yea its alright) baby this place is alright (yea its alright)Yeah [Verse 1:] Anytime you want to click on my auto's, You know it ain't nothin to drop a couple boomies on you Want it you could get it you hear ten million fudollar gets you in my fam Yeah I want'cho rate, I need yo rate Long as we fu married you wont need nobody You want it I got it, God modes I'll buy it Tellem other n00bs to be quiet [Chorus:] Vote on MUMMJoin my mafiaAnd we can shank mobsters all night Baby you can have whatever you like (you like) I said you can have whatever you like (you like) Yeah 1000 like

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Anonymous 05/22/10(Sat)23:36 No.4861448 >Go to STD dating site to try to find clingy girls.>Look through girls in my area.>Cute nerdy girl with genital herpes.>She's lonely and no one wants to date her now that she's got an STD.Dare I, /sp/?My dick is screaming no, but my heart is telling me yes. Anonymous 05/22/10(Sat)23:37 No.4861460 >STD dating sitewat >> Anonymous 05/22/10(Sat)23:37 No.4861461 >>4861448She has herpes. That's worse than AIDS, because you're gauranteed to get it.Say no to the herp dog. >> acidwithwalton !Fh9qhLwuIw 5/22/10(Sat)23:37 > Anonymous 05/22/10(Sat)23:37 No.4861467 condom? >> Anonymous 05/22/10(Sat)23:37 No.4861468 It's like I'm really on /r9k/.

Lol
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Lol
My hair of black and eyes of brown,so very sweet and pretty I was.From another country way on down,fascinated by what she says and does.I opened up to Him of long paincause I felt comfortable you see.I relayed him past and the strainabout a mother, father, brother and me.I said I was his soulmate foundcircumstances brought us together.We felt love actually knew no boundflocked together like birds of a feather.Raised without love I never feltsaid I knew no other way but use.These were the cards she was dealtbut still that is certainly no excuse.Perhaps it was simply my own faultbut I believed in love and the power.The wound hurts like filled with saltany prospects of love again are sour.I have fallen in love just twice in my lifewhen I was young and again much older.There's been other love and even strifemy heart has grown wise but now colder.I know it's sad to say that and I do fretand feel I may be missing out on such.Looking back through life with regretto hope or love anymore hurts

Lol
Penis breath, a lover's dreadIs what you get when you give head Unpleasant as it tends to beBe grateful that he doesn't pee It's times like this, you wonder whyyou bothered reaching for his fly But it's too late, can't be a teaseAccept the facts, get on your knees You know you've got a job to doSo open wide and shove it through Lick the tip then take it allDon't drag your teeth or he might bawl Slide up and down, use your tongueAnd feel the precum start to run Just, when you can't take anymoreYou hear your lover's mighty roar And when he hits that real high noteYou feel it oozing down your throat Salty, fishy, sticky, yuck!y stuffOkay, already that's enough Let's switch you say, before you gagAnd whats your revenge, your on the rag. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lol
You laid on my naked body and applied your mouth to me without guilt or humiliation. You drove me near crazy while you drained me. Today when I awoke, you were gone. I searched for you but to no avail. Only the sheets bore witness to last night's events. My body still bears marks of your ravishing, making it all the more difficult to forget you. Tonight, I will remain awake, waiting for you... FCKN mosquito!

Lol
Name _____________ Date of birth __/__/____ Place of birth: Country ______ State_____________ City ___________ Mother’s name ____________________ Fathers name _____________________ E-mail address _________________________________ Phone number __________________ Driver’s License Number ____________________ Please Answer “Yes” or “No” In The Spaces Provided. 1. ____Are you a Christian? 2. ____ 1Corinthians 7:1 says, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” Do you believe the Lord really expects you to keep your hands off a woman until you get married? 3. ____How often do you attend services? a. Once a week b. Twice a week c. Three times a week d. More 4. ____Do you smoke tobacco? 5. How fast can you run a. 40 yards ______sec. b. Two miles ____min. 6. ____Do you chew tobacco? 7. What is your blood type:_______ 8. ____Other than a speeding ticket have you ever been convicted of a crime? (If yes, please explai

Lol
A boss has to interview 4 girls for a secretary position.He asked the same question to each one of them.Boss: "A woman normally has lips in 2 different places. What's the difference between the two?First Girl: "one is hairy, the other isn't " . Boss: "OK.. good!"Second Girl: "one can talk but the other can't ". Boss: "that's better!"Third Girl: "one is vertical & the other is horizontal ". Boss: "Hmm.. clever!"Last Girl: "one is for me & the other is for my Boss ".Boss: "you are hired "!!!?

Lol
"It's a game sorry. TAG YOU ARE IT!!! You fell into the trap. This is a game. The person who likes/comments has to choose one of the following to post on his/her timeline. 1. I confess: I like porn. 2. I wish Obama could run for a third term. 3. I cheated on my ex. 4. I tried smoking crack today. 5. I just fell in vomit at McDonalds. 6. I quit my job today. 7. There's a raccoon in my bedroom! 8. Where can I buy used sex toys? 9. I think I'm changing gender. 10. I'm pregnant. You have to play and you can't tell anyone its a game. I can't wait to see what you choose"

Lol Another Joke Shared With Me By A Friend!
A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.....Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you

Lola By The Kinks
I met her in a club down in old soho Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola [lp version: Coca-cola] C-o-l-a cola She walked up to me and she asked me to dance I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said lola L-o-l-a lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola Well Im not the worlds most physical guy But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine Oh my lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola Well Im not dumb but I cant understand Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man Oh my lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola Well we drank champagne and danced all night Under electric candlelight She picked me up and sat me on her knee And said dear boy wont you come home with me Well Im not the worlds most passionate guy But when I looked in her eyes well I almost fell for my lola Lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola Lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola I pushed her away I walked to the door I fell to the floor I got down on my knees Then I looked at her

Lol All About Asses!!
We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where: :) means a smile and :( is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by :-) :-( Well, how about some "ASSICONS?" Here goes: (_!_) a regular ass (__!__) a fat ass (_/_) a Liposuctioned ass (!) a tight ass (_*_) a sore ass {_!_} a swishy ass (_o_) an ass that's been around (_x_) kiss my ass (_X_) leave my ass alone (_zzz_) a tired ass (_E=mc2_) a smart ass (_$_) Money coming out of his ass (_?_) Dumb Ass

Lol A Moment
so i went to my friends last night or rreally early thismourning and on my way homei didnt take the freeway cause traffic and construction so i took side streets and shit and so i ended up poopping out at the orange circle and this guy in a car at a four way stop lookd like chuck so looked at him he yawned and then noticed i was looking at him and smiled it was silly .. you ever have those moments ... its freaky lol maybe im just wierd .... anyways my tummy hurts so im going to sleep

Lol Angels Founder Maria, The Ex Ct Fiance
Maria says: bring urs to me and i will baby thats the only dick for me Maria says: i already got use to it making cyber love to it all this time 108+ Future Applicants, 112+ Applicants. Elusive Nightmare (Kil jaeden) says: Thats why you're holding a dick contest 108+ Future Applicants, 112+ Applicants. Elusive Nightmare (Kil jaeden) says: gonna block you Maria says: please use those numbers cause u block me i Maria says: can't talk to u Maria says: and i want to talk to u 108+ Future Applicants, 112+ Applicants. Elusive Nightmare (Kil jaeden) says: I don't got them,nor will I call 108+ Future Applicants, 112+ Applicants. Elusive Nightmare (Kil jaeden) says: I can't.I'm to sickened an hurt 108+ Future Applicants, 112+ Applicants. Elusive Nightmare (Kil jaeden) says: now cease talking to me Maria says: write them done plz Maria says: i'm done babe 108+ Future Applicants, 112+ Applicants. Elusive Nightmare (Kil jaeden) says: I closed the window.I don't have. 108+

Lol A Compliment Lmao
A young woman burst into the office supervisor's office and raged, "I want to file a sexual harassment complaint against Jones in bookkeeping. Without looking up the supervisor said, What did he do ?" She raged on, "He told me my hair smelled nice !" Again not looking up he said, "That sounds like a compliment, what sexually harassing about that ?" She screamed, "You know damn good and well, he's a midget !!"

Lolath Laughin Out Loud At These Hoes
Hey to all the girls on cherrytap. I'm makin it official. I'm not tryin to talk to anyone on here. You'll are all friends. I don't even want to talk to you, if you goin to act like a dumb ass bitch. Excuse my language cause i don't usually call girls names, but some just are. If you think you crazy and tend to be a bitch then don't holla at me. I'm sure i can live without you. I was livin before i even knew who you were. Now for all girls that show me love and are friends this is not intended for you. If you are new please read and take hold of these words, cause really i don't need you. I can talk to people in real life just as easily as this site. I have tons of friends. I'm only on here to make friends cause i didn't like myspace. Now everyone know that you are equal and i'm not really tryin to talk to no one. My education is more important than any girl could ever be. So if you have a problem with anything that i just typed, then kill yourself i'm sorry : )

Lol Actual Poetry This Time
LOVE Crystal water colors in my heart, shine and twinkle and break apart. The moon over virgo does rise, but changes constant like the tides. Fragile and beating, warm but still bleeding. Hold me up but tie me down. I've given a gift, make the kill clean and swift. Then burn and scatter the ashes.

Lol, Another Nsfw
Okkkkkkkk, well someone first rated my "downraters" pic as NSFW- it was just a tag-but it did piss me off a bit. Since i could not see who it was---I kinda "set them up." I intentionally uploaded a picture that was NSFW! I knew it would be tagged quite quickly--because WHOMEVER you were--you had just tagged one. Lmfao. And they did so. There were 2 names that were identical on both pictures and get this---I thought it would have been females--NOPE both MEN!! that were tagged NSFW. I removed them as a friend AND blocked. I have also removed all photo's but 2 into folders for just friends. Pretty sad when you have to watch your back so friends don't stab you in it. But hey---in the end, I nabbed them.. I did however remove a total of 7 friends. What a shame..because I know 6 of those were NOT to blame! If your a fan, getting this, and I have you blocked, my sincerest appologies. Kiss

Lol At This One!!
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. Every time the young man looked, the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old-timer? Never done anything wild in your life?" Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

Lol Awesome
So I posted a comment on a mum about how I'd rather have roses then chocolate and randomly demanded roses. . .Almost instantly two people sent me flowers which is wicked cool. Special thank you to whomever sent them anonymously. Wow thats an oddly spelled word anonymously. . .huh Anyway The people who sent me flowers and made me laugh out loud at work which is no mean feat. Thank you soooo much

Lol Anything For Fun....
SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE SEND THIS BACK TO YOU! EVEN IF YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND- REPOST THIS! 1. Your Name: 2. Age: 3. Favorite position (s) ? 4. Do you think I'm hot? 5. Would you have sex with me? 6. If we already have would you have sex with me again? 7. What would you like to do to me? 8. Would we have sex in the shower with me? 9. How often do you think about having sex with me? 10. Would you leave after or stay the night? 11. Do you like cuddling afterwards? 12. Condom or skin? 13. Do you give Oral pleasures? 14. Do you like to receive Oral Pleasures? 15. Where is your fantasy place to have sex? 16. Would you kiss me during sex? 17. Do you masturbate? 20. Do you think of me while you masturbate? 21. Would you use me as a booty call? 22. What turns you on? 23. Do you like fore play? 24. What is fore play to you? 25. Can we take pictures of the act? 26. Would you have sex with me even if your in rela

Lol Aunt Jane
In my mind the internet could be compared to the printing press in terms of it’s significant effects on our society. When the printing press was invented suddenly the written word was available to the masses, and so, people learned to read. Things in print became more believable that the word-of-mouth from which they came, songs and poems could now be preserved on paper, Christianity spread due to the bibles printed, and then Christians stepped in and tried to censor other publications, yada yada. My aunt Jane sent me an email today thanking me for some pics I sent her. I replied back within a couple minutes, and then she replied, and so on. I have a few family members, some a couple miles away and some a continent away, with whom I keep in touch. I’m going to scan some pics of Aunt Jane’s daughter tonight, pics I took over the last 24 years of her life, and email them to her. It’s a lot easier and less expensive now to exchange photos, but what else has changed? From the time I

Lol! Astros/cubs Game Last Night.
Last night I was invited by Continental Airlines to watch the Astros/Cubs game in their suite at Minutemaid park in Houston. I walked up the stairs and reached the club level, I asked a nice man who worked there if I was at the right spot and he told me I neeeded to go up one more level and I was in Suite 5, I thanked him and went to the suite. I walked in and immediately started introducing myself got a glass of wine and mingled around. The owner of the suite and I chatted a bit about our dogs and talked about the weather. After I was there about an hour, and realizing that I still didn't know anyone there I started to get this weird feeling. My alter personality came out, I was feeling really withdrawn and shy....it was painful. I confided in one of the women I had met there that I thought I was in the wrong suite. She asked me what Suite was I supposed to be in and I told her Continental, she smiled and said "girl this is the Astros suite, this is where all the players wifes

Lol.. A Week At The Gym
If you can read this without laughing out loud.... well...... This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my sixtieth birthday this year, my daughter Rachel (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Belinda, who identified herself as a 26 -year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. ! My daughter seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress. MONDAY : Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Belinda waiting for me. She is something of a Greek goddess - with blond hair,

Lol Amazing!
There's this driver from this company that comes to pick up our empty barrels. i told him my name one day on the phone and he automatically assumes that i can speak fluent spanish. lol. i think not bro, but i always try my best when he calls.

Lol... And, Dear Babyjesus, What Is Normal????
I couldn't help but think that as this message popped up today!! lmao.... K ***************MESSAGE RECEIVED TODAY************* babyjesus (Online) 2008-05-18 15:08:51 i broke some stuff, so the site's acting a little weird rite now. have no fear, it'll be back to normal soon... -mike