I woke up in a bed on the beach in a white nightgown
I'm doing better today I guess after my talk about the gyno visit to my friend sheryl put it into perspective because this poor girl went thru Cancer twice in her life first time she was 30 years old I was pregnant with Arielle at the time and the way she found out was awful she miscarried and after the miscarriage she went to the doctor and yes she was pregnant what terminated that baby was a tumor the size of a basketball. she had to go thru a total histerectomy and limpnodes with not only left her sterile but diabled for the rest of her life the chemo left her weak and unable to stand or sit for long periods of time her second bout was this past year they found a growth on her heart after 6 months of chemo again this time she will have numbness in her legs for 2 years at least she is only 46 and when I met her 24 years ago she was this beautiful raven haired doe eyed model today she is but a memory of this beauty. Three things kept her strong her will to fight, her man who has stayed strong to her and her son becoming a first time father and her having her first grandchild, a girl. She's the tru fighter and surviver my God bless her for putting me in a better place.
The second person My best friend Celine her life until a year ago was something I wanted no part of she was doing crack and selling it, stealing, prostituting for money and drugs, her boyfriend beat her he too was using both crack and steriods she od and ran thru the streets naked and she had epiphany and returned to the church since than both cleaned themselves to the point that she and he has devoted themselves to the church and each other and will be married july 8th she has been praying for me and lead a prayer for my soul to be healed. I can never return to church because there is no true church as much as I believe in God I find the church no matter which denomination have demands I can not abide by or agree too. I am greatful and believe prayer works and in someways lightened the burden I feel waking up to everyday.
the third is friends I made on line who have helped so much. I need someone to talk to because my situation limits my chioces. Celine tells me I'm looking in the wrong places to find the love I so want. this maybe true but people are human some have all the best intentions with all they're limitations yes most are superfisal but serve a purpose. That is the same in any medium. I will tell you one thing I can never be happy with a man who spouts the bible and won't be able to enjoy a little secular fun. All in all yes I still have alot going on that brings me alot of pain inside but last night in my dream I was healed and I woke up in a bed on the beach I wore a white nightgown,if some one can intreprate this dream tell me what it meant tell me but all I now I woke up in a better mood than a long time.
