Fubar Blog Posts 2

The Way I Feel- Now
Here it is i just meet this guy on the internet we have been seeing each other for like 2 months and i really like him but i dont want to be the first one o say any thing about how i feel, cause i dont want to scare him off which i tend to do a lot in a relationship any way the way i feel now is scared, i just get scared over some one who i like a lot im just afraid that somethng is going to happenen well, i need to get over it and just go on, and not think about it .

The Way I Do
Who are you to say If i'm right or wrong and who are you to say If I belong For you don't walk in my shoes Or see life the way I do Who are you to talk behind my back And who are you to say If my morals lack For you don't walk in my shoes or see life the way I do So don't try to make me see your light Or play games with my life For we are all one in the same Even though we all have different names So don't play with me Just let me be I'll live my life The way I see and all I ask of you Is let me be For you don't walk in my shoes Or see life the way I do

The Way I Feel...
the ink i use to write the love i have is not red like the blood that has been spilled from my broken heart, but gold as the bricks that will lead us to heaven,you make my heart pound like the drums from heaven that will alert us of jesus's return.for me and you to walk into the light of heaven..together me and you shall be together to spend enternity together and be forever happy and in love with the greatest love of all (LIFE).. By LOUIS HARLEY

The Way It Hurts.
I sometimes wonder why I even bother. I watch you from across the room, where a few steps away seems too far to reach, as if we were on a different dimension, another wavelength altogether. Your eyes are lowered, framing you with an expression of serenity and innocence and oblivion, and I keep watching you, gazing unabashedly across the distance between us that is both seen and felt. You don't see me. You never have. I bite my lip ponderingly, lost in thought and feelings and you, looking at your slightly bowed head and imagining the colour of your eyes, pure and vivid in my mind like the whisper of your smile, transient and unforgettable and never directed at me. Sometimes I despair that we're too different. Other times I try to believe there's a chance. And in between I don't know what to think at all. I spend an inordinate amount of time like this, watching you as you look elsewhere, watching you not notice me. I find it strangely comforting, though, because I c

The Way I Try To Live:
"To those who see with loving eyes, life is beautiful. To those who speak with tender voices, life is peaceful. To those who help with gentle hands, life is full. And to those who care with compassionate hearts, life is good beyond all measure."

The Way I Feel
You cant even imagine the shit i put up with in my life. Lying cheating fake inconsiderate immature abusive(physically mentally emotionally) lazy no good for nothing people. and im not implying just now but my hole life. But no more will i falter at the hands of these people. I will hurt no more. I am done. I have had all i can of the dumb shit. I am a woman GOD DAMN IT. and i expect to be treated like one. No more will i be used. If you think you are going to say all these nice things to me to make me want you and do all these nice things for me as well .... well don't even bother don't be fake. I have know so many FAKE ASS PEOPLE and to all of you FUCK OFF......If you want my respect i expect you to give me yours. I am not a piece of property you do not own me and you never will. If you think i am going to be your puppet that you can make do anything you want...... WELL THINK AGAIN...... I am not a puppet i don't get played. I cant even explain the emotions running through me right n

The Way I Feel Continued
I figure it like this i am a very good person and i didn't deserve any of this shit and it has mad me harder. I don't trust anyone anymore you have to earn my trust from the beginning. I am a very Careing person to those i love and care for. So your goin to be very lucky if you see that side of me anymore. I also want to say something about the men who think they are just going to get in my pants HA FUCKING HA. to bad fuckers. Im not easy and you cant have it. And to those who think im going to fuck them even if i am with someone your sadly mistaken. I cant stand men like that. I also feel that I am a woman and if you want to take me out and think that i am paying well guess what not anymore ha ha ha my money is mine fuck you you pay....... not me...... and you better not bitch about it..... if i want something ill buy it for myself but i will not buy anything for a man ever again unless its a holiday or birthday.. cause i dont need a man to pay for me and a man should not need me to p

The Way I Feel
Come with me to a place where good people can't go, A place where you can indulge in fantasy. Lose the walls that society has been so kind to enclose us with. On this day of love, let me show you different emotion, Lust. Allow me to pleasure you with sins of the flesh so that we may spend an eternity in hell...............

The Way I Feel
Yearning for her affection is what I do, those beautiful brown eyes gazing at me, my soul just can't tell her no. Her words flow from her gorgeous lips and make me tremble and trip. Her mind, so smart and quick. Everything about her is stunning and in my eyes so perfect, does she know how she leaves me so speechless? She's different from the others and I don't know why I'm lost with words and breath when she speaks to me. So many things I want to say, so many things she needs to hear. I want to give her the moon and stars because that's what she deserves, I want her to only know the best things there is, to know that I am so deep and true. All the emotions that she makes me feel with just the smallest of gazes. The passion that she drives me to be. The strength she gives me with just the simplest of words. So to you, I say for you. I thank you. Please take this heart and bear it true. For it is you, that I say * **** ***.

The Way It Is...
Ok...I'm not new to the fu. So I'm going to set some ground rules by which I will follow - if you are planning on being my friend - sorry, but you are subject to them as well. 1. The R/F/A shit has go to go. I will not rate/fan/add you unless I want to. Period. End of story. Typically I won't add you unless you are the following: 21-40 years old, anything older than that is gross; if you are female, decent looking - i know it's shallow, but hey so am I; if you are male, you need to be straight - I understand you were born this way, but it's just not for me - don't worry, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Those are just the basic guidelines - I will feel free to add to or take away as I wish. But don't try to do that for me. You'll just get blocked. 2. It's a social site. So if you don't talk to me, then I'll just remove you as a friend. No biggie. I don't need you. You need me more than I need you. Because you care about points - I could care less. 3. Don't use HTML

The Way I See It~
There is a subtle difference between a mission and a promise. A mission is something you strive to accomplish. A promise is something your compelled to keep. One is individual, The other is shared. When a mission and a promise are one in the same... That's when mountains are moved and races are won. --Hala Moddelmog

The Way It Is?
hrm... I received a compliment today from one of our biggest accounts..and pickiest customers... The client sent the email to both myself and my boss. My boss sent me several emails today about this and that and new accounts etc etc...but said nothing about the compliment. I know he's busy...but it torks me a bit that he didn't acknowledge it. *sigh* oh well, I'm happy to be home..but rating and mumms are doing nothing for me right now..perhaps it's because I'm starving and my space cadet of a man left his damn wallet at home..so, now here I sit, my spoiled self starving until the pizza gets here... damn pms. ♥ PoStaL

The Way It Is
A poem about me. WAR War is like hell, After the bullet went through my chest, I felt the touch of death, Listening to bombs hitting the ground, Corpses hitting the surface beside me, I thought I was dying, Being dragged into a Hummby, Medics fixed me up, Back to the front I had to go, Watch my men run into minefields, Havoc, Horror, Pain is all I see around me, Soldiers and civilians fighting as one, Hand grenades flying in the air, I hated war but I was back for the 3rd time, Too many head shots to count, No hole big enough to put the bodies, No lake big enough to store the spilt blood, We ran out of places to put the wounded, Day after day, Night after night, The war raged on, The man who always fought beside me, He had enough, He put a bullet through his head, After two years, The last bullet was fired, The last bomb was dropped, The last civilian killed, I was the last man standing, Then I yelled out, War

The Way I Feel At Times..
I feel this way at times..in real life and on here. I just give up. Why even bother having friends? I get bitched at on here..if I am not talking to just that one person. So, if I am to devote my attn to only one on here..why bother having friends?

The Way It Is !
You know I been lookin' around ,and checking things out in this ole' world a long time. I been on my own since I was 9 yrs old. I have lived through many things in that time. I look on Television and the net,and see alot of complainin' goin' on ,about how folks are scared 'cause of the economy. Global warmin' ect. The one thing I know is we live here on this earth,and ther ain't a thang going on that this ole' world ain't seen before. Here in America we got it alot better then alot of folks. Thier is poor folks that cain't get nothin' to eat . There are countries where their leaders just go on mass murderin' spree's. Her in the U.S.A. we ain't got worry 'bout all that mess. We are still a great nation. My brother died for this nation we live in. Yeah maybe thangs cost a little more. All that means is ya gotta get yer hustle on. The rich ,and priviledged ain't gonna crash, and they need us regular Joe's to keep 'em rich ,and priviledged so we ain't either they cain't let that happen the

The Way I Feel .....
I can't run anymore, I fall before you, Here I am, I have nothing left, Though I've tried to forget, You're all that I am, Take me home, I'm through fighting it, Broken, Lifeless, I give up, You're my only strength, Without you, I can't go on, Anymore, Ever again. My only hope, (All the times I've tried) My only peace, (To walk away from you) My only joy, My only strength, (I fall into your abounding grace) My only power, My only life, (And love is where I am) My only love. I can't run anymore, I give myself to you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, In all my bitterness, I ignored, All that's real and true, All I need is you, When night falls on me, I'll not close my eyes, I'm too alive, And you're too strong, I can't lie anymore, I fall down before you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. My only hope, (All the times I've tried) My only peace, (To walk away from you) My only joy, My only strength, (I fall into your abounding grace) My only power, My only life, (And love is where I am) My only love. Constantl

The Way I Am's Gotten Me Nowhere
Well, I think it's time for me to make some adjustmensts to myself. I admit that I've been a real softy and let people take advantage of me for way too long, so consider myself an underdog. People told me to stay the way I am, but they way I am didn't get me anywhere but being ran over. I'm not gonna be an asshole, but I gonna have to stand up for myself and hold my ground. I'm still gonna stay true to myself. I just gotta stop taking crap from everyone, and start standing up to myself. I'm not doing this for anybody, I'm doing this for myself. I gotta have better respect for myself. I mean, come on, I don't have the greatest social skills or charisma or being the smoothest person in the world, but I'm real and respectful to everybody. Maybe I'm too inexperience or soft. Maybe I'm too desperate or way too demanding for attention. Maybe I just don't fit in or too nice to people. Maybe I am an outcast or a misfit. I don't know. I just need to find myself and figure out who

The Way I Feel Today (doesn't Care If You Care To Read)
I'm back to being old myself again. I hate what I see. When I look in a mirror I want to shatter it with my hand to see if I still bleed. I'm back to not sleeping. All I do is think. The thoughts are not what scares me. It's the fact I'm not afraid to act them out. I don't care if anyone cares. I just feel alone. I'm such a great person. What the hell is wrong? All I see is I love this I love that. Well in my case f*ck love....I'll never have a chance at that. You can say I'm wrong and that I shouldn't give up. I'm going to look you in the eyes and tell you....Yes I should. It's like when someone who is dying and going through pain just says pull the plug. I'm ready to go but in my sense I'm not dying all together just emotionally. Call me what you want. As I said I don't care. I've been alone all 26 yrs of my life might as well make it forever. Life is just pain never any good. How can bad people be happy why someone good is not. Maybe I should change for the worse then I'll get what

The Way I Feel About Life!
Friendship is like a rare stone, precious and different in every one. True friends are bonds of unbreakable trust and understanding. love is more powerfull then any man made thing, yet doesn't have to be showen to be known. Peace is within the knowledge of truth. Cherish the stones which you carry, strengthen the bonds you will create, feel what you feel cause it is whats true but let no one convice you other wise.

The Way I Was (lyrics)
The Way I Was :When i woke up today and i saw this placei knew there was something wrongi just can't get away from this fucked up pain inside of mewhy?I am going through some changesi don't know what is going onsomething is happening to mesomething is happening to meit's too late to save me from myselfafter all the damage that i've causedi wish there was some way that i could put me back the way i waswhen i woke up todayand i saw your facei knew there was something wrongi just can't get away with all these fucked up things i trytell me why?I am going through these changesi don't know what is going onsomething is happening to mesomething is happening to meit's too late to save me from myselfafter all the damage that i've causedi wish there was some way that i could put me back the way i waswhen i woke up today and i saw this placei knew there was something wrongsomething is happening to mesomething is happening to mesomething is happening to meit's too late to save me from myselfafter a

The Way I See It.
Everybody Hurts...It's not just an R.E.M. song, it's actually true. If you are born with a heart, it will get broken at some point. Bruised, battered, and bloodied. That's a good thing though, hearts are supposed to be bloody.Everyone is crazy...Yes, all of us. We all have "issues". Daily demons that we fight. Some days they are quieter, and we have a chance to breathe.Everyone feels "different"....We all think we are the only one's going through this, whatever this is and that no one will ever understand. We all think that no one will ever truly get us. Everyone is lovable...Even that idiot who put his blinker on 3 streets before the turn, or the girl that just smashed your heart into a million little pieces with a blink of an eye. We are lovable because we are. End of subject.Everyone is searching...There is a desire in all of us to search for some thing or someone. We don't always listen to that longing inside us, but it is always there. When we're not listening, we think we've go

The Way I Feel (past)
Today my smile is biggerMy steps are quick and lightIt's not because of moneyBut something feels just right My mind just seems to goWherever my heart takes itIts telling me that weSomehow just might make it I find myself just smilingFor no apparent reasonBut then I discover thatThe thought of you is pleasing My concentration takenMy heart is beating fastI cant help but wonderWill this feeling last My confidence is risingI feel real good insideHearing you say "I love you"Makes my heart swell with pride I want our hearts as oneI wish to be with youI want to show you loveThat is forever true My heart I hand to youTo cherish and protectAnd promise you foreverTo show you all respect

The Way I Feel Today August 17, 2010.
The way I feel today August 17, 2010. The way I feel today, is I’m being punished and I am nothing but a piece of dirt on my family’s shoes for they ignore me. My fault I guess because I created another profile on Fubar (my ex has gotten my son to think Fubar is porn and the source of the Trojan virus that infected her laptop. If that was true then all the computers using their internet access, wouldn’t they? I am loosing weight from the lack of food and drinking a lot of water in these wicked hot days, The reason for the lack of food is because my Food Stamps have not yet arrived and I am out of food. I was rationing my food to one meal a day to make to it until my Food Stamps arrived, but I miss calculated. That is okay since I have been drinking lots of coffee to curve my appetite, so I won’t go to bed feeling hungry like I did when I was a young boy. I will not bother with that family that talked me into buying this mobile home since they do not really treat

The Way I Feel
i thought bout him again today, he crosses my mind more than any one in one day and we talk it lights up my day, sometimes like now when i miss him so much it brings a sadness to me n i cry, i just wish i could say something n not be so scared to say anything but i dont want to risk my heart and feelings cuz it would hurt too much all tho it hurts now.......my heart n soul bleeds for u.....

The Way I Am Feeling
I LAY AWAKE AT NIGHT LOOKING AT YOUR PICTURE WISHING I COULD HEAR YOUR VOICE OTHER THEN IN MY HEAD. I MISS YOU MORE THEN WORDS CAN BE SAID. I REALIZE THAT I DID ALOT WRONG IN MY LIFE AND THE BIGGEST WAS LOOSING YOU. I FELT I LOST YOU WAY BEFORE I REALY LOST YOU. I TRIED TO SAY WHAT WAS IN MY HEART BUT THE WORDS JUST DIDNT COME OUT RIGHT. YOU HAD BRIGHTENED UP MY LIFE SO BRIGHT THAT I HAD TO CLOSE MY EYES. I WAS SO USE TO BEING IN THE DARK AND YOU BROUGHT THE LIGHT INTO MY LIFE AND IT BLINDED ME. BUT NOW THAT THE LIGHT IS GONE AGAIN I MISS IT SO MUCH AND MISS YOU MORE. WE HAVE DONE AND SAID THINGS THAT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN SAID OR DONE. NORMALY I WOULD BE UPSET AND WANT TO TAKE ACTION ON IT BUT I HAVE NO DESIRE TO. I JUST WANT THIS DESEASE INSIDE OF ME TO DO ITS JOB AND EAT ME ALIVE AND FINSH ME OFF. I LOVE YOU AND ALWAYS WILL LOVE YOU TILL THE DAY I DRAW MY LAST BREATH. AND WILL CARRY YOUR LOVE WITH ME TO MY GRAVE AND BEYOND

The Way I Am - Staind
"The Way I Am"I'm not very good at just paying attention I'm not very good at remembering things that you say I'm not very good at persuing redemption I'm not very good at concealing the hand that I play [chorus] It's the way I am, you'll never change The way I am, or re arrange The way I am, just let me be The way I am, it's the way I am I'm not really sure of the coming attractions I'm not really sure of the illusions we read on the wall I'm not really sure of the preaching we practice I'm not really sure if we notice it before we fall [chorus] It's the way I am, you'll never change The way I am, or re arrange The way I am, just let me be The way I am, it's the way I am I'm not very good at just paying attention I'm not very good at remembering things I'm not very good at pursuing redemption I'm not very good at concealing the hand that I play When I'm trying so hard just to beat you I'm not really good at controlling my fate I'm not really good at controlling my anger I'm not really

The Way I Am
Been a while since last I was here and there's lots to get off my mind....... Throughout our lives we go through life with tons of questions and little answers....some questions have easy answers while others may take months, years to learn their answers. And until those answers arrive we go about our lives wondering if the day will come when we'll learn the reason why we went through all the years of heartache. My story is a bit different I have always been told I am an amazing guy and that any girl would be foolish to let someone like me slip away but here it is....once again approaching yet another Valentine's Day and the guy who is "amazing to almost everyone" is alone once again asking if I'll ever be able to give my love to a special woman who has been crying out for someone good to come in their life....bringing back the sunshine that was once there..... But to my friends the reason why I'm alone is to then it seems like I "look too hard" that I jump into things way

The Way It Is April 2011
Seems like no one or very few want to talk to me anymore..I guess I am not that important or have anything interesting to say. Myabe it is just one big game and it is all about popularity, points and leveling. If that is what it is; that is fine. I'll just spend the last days on Fubar playing the game and racking up as many point as possible...I would rather have one true friend then a million fake ones anyway.

The Way Its Gonna Be
I just thought I would ask for someone to understand I can't tell a lie and ifin your wanting to know why I am an angel as my nickname does apply I bleed like any other I am deeply scarred some that won't accept me had me barred I have died twice, I guess its not my deal yet I am more than ready for things to turn real I love to sleep and not because I'm lazy I can walk in my dreams, my limp is hazy no one takes and runs away from me just because I'm not as perfect as I am suppose to be I need to pass so I won't feel the pain anymore I need to see my dad, he's waiting by an open door I never got married to anyone or two I sometimes just dream I can say 'I do" I am thinking everyone sees me as I can an ugly, overweight waste of time for every man I am not teaser or begging maniac I love the animals and watching the lightening on my back I don't whine I have accepted how I know it will play out some night I'll leave then nobody will know to doubt spreading my wings

The Way I Feel Lately I've Been Wandering Off The Narrow Path You’ve Given Me So Many Things That I've Never Had And All In All I Know It'
Lately I've been wanderingOff the narrow pathYou’ve given me so many things that I've never hadAnd all in all I know it's you that always pulls me throughIf you reach deep inside you’ll see my heart is trueCause I hate the way I feel tonightAnd I know I need you in my lifeYes I hate the way I feel insideAnd I promise to make the sacrifice The world I know is pulling meMore and more each dayI feel like the odd man out as I begin to praySpiteful eyes are watching meWith everything I doIn the midst of darkness LordMy spirit calls for youYou know sometimes deep insideI feel like thisCause I hate the way I feel tonightAnd I know I need you in my lifeYes I hate the way I feel insideAnd I promise to make the sacrifice The Way I Feel

The Way It Is
No matter where I go, sad things will happen to me, hard things. People I love will die, and sometimes I'll have to tell friends good-bye. I'll meet people who won't like me, and I'll know loneliness. I don't like it, but that's the way it is. ♥

The Way I See It
That degree you have hanging, on your wall. Can be broken, shattered, won't stand the fall. It's words stating your area, of expertise. My scars are my proof, an incurable disease. The images imprinted, in my mind. Are my experience, my time. My time served, released for good behavior. Finding faith, hope, my savior. Through the blood, sweat and tears. Recognizing the demons, facing the fear. Seeing the real world, for what it's truly about. Erasing the misconception, weeding through the doubt. Step out in to the world, without any protection at all. Fight, bleed and cry, then place that degree back on your wall. Only then will that degree, be worth a shit. If this offends you I apologize, but that's just the way I see it.

1 Way I Make Money Is With My Pictures.
I make .22 cents on every 1,000 views of my pictures,and It helps me out too being jobless.So If I can get people to checked out i can make a nice income. http://www.shareapic.net/content.php?gid=962179&owner=surfer1969 Is the link to see my dolphins pictures.

The Way I Feel ...
The way I feel, when I'm with you, I forget my troubles, like there's just us two. You make my heart, beat fast and strong, and you make me feel, that I truly belong. You fill the gaps, inside my heart, like I've finally found, my missing part. I sink in your eyes, I'm warmed by your smile, and the world is perfect, just for a while. You make life better, than it used to be. You are the sugar, in my cup of tea. Whenever you need me, I'll always be there. I'll be there to talk to, I'll be there to care. Because for you, I would do anything.

The Way I Am
This is how I feel about myself. I am a down to earth woman and I try to help people because it's the right thing to do. I have had some bad experiences in life ,but I don't let them get me down.Just wanted to say that .

The Way I Look And Dress
THE MAKE UP I WEAR The make up i wear is what i want to wear, you dont' like it well it's not your fucking face it's mine. No where have i seen anything saying make up is just for girls, that is actually and official thing, all i see is shite people make up in there spare time. After shave you would probley debate thats only for men well women wear it too. Instead of wasting my time telling me what i should and should not wear why don't you spend that time finding a reason for yourself to wake up in the morning. Now i am perfectly fine with those who havn't said anything, this is based at those who have or want too. Oh and by the way people like me don't call it make up we call it CORPSE PAINT now i know thats a new word you learnt today but i'm sure you can handle learning something new. THe only peoples opinions i care about is mine and my family not some randomer who wants to try ruin my day and not realise they fucking failed terrably. Now i would tell you what would ruin m

The Way I Feel
The way I feel,when I'm with you,I forget my troubles,like there's just us two.You make my heart,beat fast and strong,and you make me feel,that I truly belong.You fill the gaps,inside my heart,like I've finally found,my missing part.I sink in your eyes,I'm warmed by your smile,and the world is perfect,just for a while.You make life better,than it used to be.You are the sugar,in my cup of tea.Whenever you need me,I'll always be there.I'll be there to talk to,I'll be there to care.

The Way I Am
i walk the line i sway back and forth from one side to side i stand tall and make the best of it i dont cheat i dont steel and itry not to lie i try to do my best in every thing i do i try to bettermy slef and make others happy i am your friend i will always be there walkingthat line trying to reach the top going fare and abovethe silver lining that hangs above my head trying to make u happy and full of life!!!

The Way I Feel
I sit here all alone. In this endless world. Trying to make sense of all this, And so far its doing no good. The more I try to please other’s The more I end up a failure!! This I guess is how it’s meant to be. Troy Walker is nothing but a failure!!! No one seem’s to notice how hard I try. Not even the one I love! And if she does, She refuse’s to show it. At times I wonder if its even love at all. Maybe she is just using me, To make other’s jealous is a though i get! I am a failure. I cant seem to make sence of anything at all. I do nothing right. I fuck up everything. It does not matter what it is. I break it and destroy it. I’m everything my dad ever said about me. I am a good for nothing BASTARD.

The Way I Feel
The Way I Feel Sitting here wondering what is wrong with me? Where did I go wrong? Why am I not good enough for anyone? Why am I always the one getting hurt? Why do I let guys get too close and then let them hurt me? Why does the pain never fade? Is it that I care too much? Is it that I love so strong? Is it that I let people get too close? Or, is it that I am too naive and too trusting? What is it about me that is never good enough for anyone to love me, accept me, or even want to be with me? Maybe I am just not good enough for anyone, not pretty enough, Not smart enough, not worth even being around or being alive? Maybe everyone would be better off if I werent around.

The Way Kids See Things
THE WAY CHILDREN SEE THINGS NUDITY: I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!" HONESTY: My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago." OPINIONS: On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a Note from his mother.. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." KETCHUP: A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come ou

The Way Kids See It
1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year- old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!" 2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." 3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle." 4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little b

The Way Life Goes
It's time i let some things out. life can be full of joy or it can be 1 bad thing after another. Every time i become happy for some reason or another life decides to hit like a damn truck and out the window goes my happyness. for example i was blessed with beutiful children that i love dearly and life saw fit to take them away from me. I found someone that i fell head over heals in love with and once again life plays its cruel role and took that away from me to. Maybe im destind to be alone and miserable. I dont know. Dont get me wrong im not saying what happens in my life isnt in any way my fault. Alot of what happens could or can be avoided one way or another. Yes i admit it I do make mistakes and have tendencies to not do the right thing untill its to late but hey nobodies perfect. But the way i was raised is you take the good with the bad and if you have problems you need toi work through them not take the easy way out. I try so hard to do that but its not easy. Life never is. Mayb

The Way Life Is (from My Myspace)
Well this is a blog I should have posted a long time ago. It urks my nerves when I think about it. When society destoyed the idea of a nice guy and turned it into a myth. Something of the past that does not exist anymore. And for those that do still believe they are out there. the assholes of the world us that as the stepping stone to get what they want. When they accomplish it they get comfortable and are there normal asshole selves again. There used to be a time when dating was spending time with someone really getting to know them and finding out what they are about. Through this process you could see if there were somone you could have a long term relationship with. Now it is hooking up with someone you haven't know a long time, hop into bed or the relationship with them and you don't know anything about them. If they cheat, Oh, well that is how they are and it is excepted. If they mistreat you, Oh well maybe he will go back to being nice again. By

The Way Life Goes
A dagger through the heart A bullet to the brain A promise not to part A future full of pain Games are played Outcomes are swayed Winners win As the game begins Giving up ground and a love i have found without making a sound Leave me standing around A dream is shattered As the day comes to an end Ashes are now scatterd Across a riverbend Belle 08/20/07

The Way Life Is.
Life is so hard as nuch as u make it out to be. But if u have the people u love around u and the ones that make u happy life will only get as easy as u make it. so make life as fun and full as u would want someone else to be.

The Way Love Should Be
The way he looks at me makes me shake inside. Makes me feel like a little girl, wanting to run and hide. A feeling I'm not used to, these butterflies in me. He releases my heart, it's longed to be set free. The way he says my name always makes me smile. The way he says he misses me, makes it all worth while. I know he can tell how I feel I dont need to say a word. Isn't it funny if you listen real close even in silence feelings are heard. When he gets lonely I feel so sad makes me want to cry. The feelings just get stronger no more can I deny. I long to feel his arms sheltering me from the world. He's my Superman, I am forever his girl.

The Way Life Is
life is only what you make of the rush you get when you get caught doing sumthing your not supposed to, the speed of a car or bike you'r raceing, and yes even the pain and hurt that is caused by the one's who breake your heart and hurt you so this is why i say why waste your life on stupid people and what they think of you i say fuck it let me be me and if yo udon't like the way i am then ill tell ya go fuck your self don't judge me for what i look like judge me for the person you get to know but untill then don't judge me at all

Waylon Said It Best To Bad The Rest Have Shit On This Thought
Some have said, down through history If you last it's a mystery But I guess they don't know, what they're talking about From the mountains down to the sea You've become such a habit with me America, Amer-ica Well I come from, down around Tennesee But the people in California Are nice to me, Amer-ica It don't matter where I may roam Tell you people that it's home sweet home America, Amer-ica Chorus: And my brothers are all black and white, yellow too And the red man is right, to expect a little from you Promise and then follow through, America And the men, who fell on the plains And lived, through hardship and pain America, Amer-ica And the men who could not fight In a war that didn't seem right You let them come home, America And my brothers are all black and white, yellow too And the red man is right, to expect a little from you Promise and then follow through, America Well I come from, down around Tennesee But the people i

The Way Love Works
Its amazing how love works. First off you fall in love. That makes you act funny and do every thing you can to make the person you fell for feel the same way about you. Usually it works but some times it fails miserablely. then thats where the pain comes in. You sit back and watch the one you love off with some one else oand it feels like they are a million miles away where you can't see them. So you talk to them any way you know how just to keep the hope that you might win them over alive a little longer. In the end You'll cry and It will feel like your heart is being torn out but you will live...... And that is a fate worse than death because at least in death you would have the release and no pain. But in life after love you find misery every where. Plus it seems like every one knows what has happened and keeps there distance like your a leper or some thing...........so to the one that know what it feels like, "I feel your pain' and for the ones that don't I pray you never have to

Way More Annoyed Than I Should Be
So I'm curious why anyone with any level of sanity would get as bent out of shape over the fact that I blocked them as someone just did. I had someone beg a 3rd party on CT to message me asking why I blocked them. I was nice enough to unblock them only to be subjected to the following complete idiocy Fallen Angel: ok i got u on here whats up Cory .: well you seemed pretty persistant in finding out something Fallen Angel: yeah i have had my share of haters on here so i ws wonder why u dislike me Cory .: who said i disliked you? i dont even know you Fallen Angel: why the 1 why the block Cory .: umm... i'd have to look but you probably have some faker on your family or something Fallen Angel: yes i do i have sweetsuzy on my family Cory .: ah Cory .: yeah that would probably do it Fallen Angel: she is person i talk to daily Fallen Angel: i am trying to bust her Fallen Angel: but i have a slute so why are u punishing me Cory .: punishing you? Fallen Angel: the 1 the block

The Way My Life Is Changeing For The Better
to the woman i love it is thanks to you that my life has changed.you have given me love and hope.you have made the anger and the hatred start to disappear.you have allowed me to feel the love and passion that burns deep in my soul and that has longed to escape.i am changeing for the better in my life now my love and i will keeps changeing because of your love you have helped to over come the darkness of my past.and a new man is being born with everytime we talk and with all the love you keep giveing me.i want to thank you for everything you have done for me my love.i also want to thank all of my close friends here on cherrytap that have stood by me and helped me through everything i have much love for you all.i am finaly able to have peace in my life.

The Way My Life Goes
Let me tell you a little about my life. I grew up in a house with two parents who thought I was their slave. I did all the cleaning and cooking from the age of 12 on. I got pregnant at the age of 17 then got married at the age of 18 and divorced by the age of 20. After leaving my ex my mother took my two older kids away from me with the help of my ex who lived with her for three months after I left him. I am now remarried to the man of my dreams and have two wonderful children by him. I am currently going to college to become a teacher plus working as a recruiter for an insurance company. My life as changed a lot just in 8 years. My children are 12, 10, 5, and 3. I also have one that is in heaven waiting for me and his daddy to come join him. So now that you kinda know a little more about my life please look at my profile and rate me.

The Way My Page Runs Is Like This This?
I dont give a fuck who you are or what your needs are if you choose to be my friend then it will be done,male or female,but if you bring your punk ass up over here to start shit slinging your words it will go on deafs ear.If you are a woman and you think you have a man on here and you haven't met him yet he is opened season and I dont give a fuck what he has told you,if he is coming to my page you have your fucking answer.If you are a woman that comes here because you are bi and are looking for your woman here same thing goes for you but if your a man that is here because of your woman then join the fuck in because you know you would love to see that. I am very much in control of my life and if I want it I go after it and if anyone has a problem with that then here is your answer.I don't care. I like men and women and I am not ashamed of it if you dont agree then move the fuck on.I dont ask you to come to my page and if you do and get all pissed off then don't come back again. I got

Wayman Tisdale
Wayman Tisdale, a three-time All-American at Oklahoma who played 12 seasons in the NBA, died after a two-year battle with cancer. He was 44. Tisdale died Friday morning at St. John Medical Center in Tulsa, hospital spokeswoman Joy McGill said. He learned of a cancerous cyst below his right knee after breaking his leg in a fall at his home in Los Angeles on Feb. 8, 2007. His leg was amputated last August. He made several public appearances since, including April 7 at an Oklahoma City Thunder game. Tisdale, a 6-foot-9 forward from Tulsa with a soft left-handed touch, played in the NBA with the Indiana Pacers, Sacramento Kings and Phoenix Suns. He averaged 15.3 points for his career. He was on the U.S. team that won the gold medal in the 1984 Olympics. After his basketball career, he became an award-winning jazz musician, with several albums making the top 10 on the Billboard charts. Last month, he was chosen for induction into the National Collegiate Basketball Hall of Fame. Tisdale

Way Me
Why Me?Why me Hun?Why my heart?Why do you love me so?Why confess this to me?Why say the words now?Why does this confuse me so?Why me? Why me?Why do you dothis to me?Why me? Why me?Why do these feeling haunt me?Why do they haunt you?Why do they taunt?Why me?Why us?Why now?

The Way Not To Date
I was on a date with Carla that was complete disaster. Last minute dates never work. It was the worst date I was ever on. I don't blame her she was fantastic but I really blaming myself. The kiss was meaningless and awful and I felt so tired walking all over gods creation finding her .... We walked for hours and I do mean hours around the mall. We went to her favorite stores Victoria Secrets and Fredrick's . She was looking for a corset. I never had my back give out like that.I was so out of breath, and I feel so out of shape. Age among other things are catching up with me.I don't think were going to be doing this again any time soon.

Wayne Dyer’s Top 8 Tips For Building A Better Social Life
Wayne Dyer’s Top 8 Tips for Building a Better Social Life Published by Henrik Edberg December 12th, 2008 in Personal Development, People Skills and Success. "Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed." "Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you." One of my favourite personal development people is the psychologist Wayne Dyer. He seems to be a very warm person but he also someone who takes a lot personal responsibility and is assertive. This is reflected in his work. He's kind but he's not here just to make you feel good. Through a no-nonsense approach he makes you realize obvious – but sometimes uncomfortable - things about how pretty much all of this is up to you. And how many things are quite simple but you are standing in your own way and overcomplicating it all

Wayne Lapierre
"We've witnessed a fire sale of American liberties at bargain basement prices, in return for the false promise of more security... The America being designed right now won't resemble the America we've been defending... The danger isn't that Big Brother may storm the castle gates. The danger is that Americans don't realize that he is already inside the castle walls." -- Wayne LaPierre

Wayne Rooney Manchester United Dressing Room Has Been Isolated! Three Chiefs Angry Remonstrance Moyes: Sell Him
"Daily Star" headline Screencast: Wayne Rooney to leave Manchester United stars of hope Rooney [microblogging] Currently in Manchester [microblogging] [microblogging] is getting embarrassing situation can be described, along with his transfer storm grow bigger, the Manchester United squad Rooney thousand bigwigs have already started unhappy, " Mirror "revealed, including Ferdinand [microblogging], Ryan Giggs, Patrice Evra, including the veteran insisted on Rooney disrupt the morale required to leave their behavior is very angry. "Daily Mail", analyzes,Christian Louboutin Rooney wants to leave Manchester United dressing room has become increasingly strong undercurrent, a forced leave Rooney's "Uprising" is moving from Manchester United squad happen. It is reported that Rooney did not travel to Sweden to participate in tonight's game with AIK.cheap Sunglasses Manchester United's official statement is given: "Rooney Real Betis at the weekend with a shoulder injury in a train

Way Of The Circle
When you first arise in the morning, give thanks to the Creator, to the four directions, to Mother Earth, to Father Sky, and to all of our relations, for the life within you and for all life around you. Remember that all things are connected. All things have purpose. Consider performing a "giveaway" by distributing your possessions to others who are in need. You are bound by your word, which cannot be broken except by permission of those who the promise was given to. Seek harmony and balance in all things. It is always important to remember where you are in relation to everything else and to contribute to the Circle in whatever way you can, by being a "helper" and protector of life. Sharing is the best part of receiving. Practice silence and patience in all things as a reflection of self-control, endurance, dignity, reverence, and inner calm. Practice modesty in all things, by avoiding boasting and loud behavior that attracts attenti

The Way Of My Life????
Aggitation takes a bond blood boiling through every space fear of never taking one more step light seems so far away backing down from all the emotion consuming it all over once more darkness engulfs me in every way Waking in a new day dims blocked from the sun I once saw reaching out to not one replacing that wall that once fell knowing I can't get through another failure drowning in a depth of hurt that bleeds not being able to contain the scars that I once hid Holding the blade and pills in only my view I hold tightly to the memories that are dear choices and decisions flash before me faces standing still in front of my eyes steering a blanket of warmth over me treading to a hault at what I considered giving me the strength to carry myself into one more day...... ~Angel~

The Way Of Things
THE WAY OF THINGS The way things are..... History is written by the winners... or the survivors, as the case may be. So we can assume that history is a very biased way to learn the truth. For there is no truth in a fact that has no basis in reality. Trying to justify their actions, many have placed the onus of blame on their enemy. How can we draw any conclusions of fact from the teachings of those who are guilty of murder? How can we as a people decide correctly, when we have no truth to base our decisions upon? When we are fed upon a diet of lies and deceit there is no path to follow ,that will take us where we need to go The only way that we as a people can come to any kind of insightful decision, is to trash what we have been taught, and look instead to the individual actions of each person we deal with. The results of their actions and especially the intent of their actions I believe that intent is the only true thing to base your decisions upon.

The Way Of The Circle
The Way of the Circle When you first arise in the morning, give thanks to the Creator, to the four directions, to Mother Earth, to Father Sky, and to all of our relations, for the life within you and for all life around you Remember that all things are connected All things have purpose, everything has its place Honor others by treating them with kindness and consideration If you have more than you need for yourself and your family, consider performing a "giveaway" by distributing your possessions to others who are in need You are bound by your word, which cannot be broken except by permission of those who the promise was given to Seek harmony and balance in all things It is always important to remember where you are in relation to everything else, and to contribute to the Circle in whatever way you can by being a "helper" and protector of life Sharing is the best part of receiving Practice silence and patience in all things as a reflection of self-c

Way Of The Road
So here in Spartanburg it seems the local trucking jobs are few and far between. After alot of thought I've decided to take a long haul trucking job. I've done long haul before but it was different then. I had someone waiting for me to get home. Now I have noone and no reason not to just stay out on the road. James Hetfield said "And the road becomes my bride". Chris Cornell sang "I am the highway". Maybe I will become the subject of one such ballad. Its a horrible feeling knowing there's no reason to return home. For that matter, why even call it home any longer? I don't like the notion of fate or destiny, But I don't think I have much more choice in the matter. Thanks for reading this.

The Way Of Man
The Why's of Men 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius) 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (they don't have enough time) 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (they don't stop to ask directions) 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock) (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!) 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties) 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (you need a rough draft before you make a final copy) 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (don't know.....it never happened) ( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!) And the personal favorite: 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (because a vibrator can't mow the lawn) Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are

The Way Of Love In Action
Loving as He loves, Helping as He helps, Giving as He gives, Serving as He serves, Rescuing as He rescues, Being with him twenty-four hours, Touching him in his distressing disguise. ---Mother Teresa

The Way Of Life
life, take it as u will , but sooner or later things arent gonna go as planned , life is about taking risks and taking chances but alot of people hold back on taking any risks or chances, everyday someone in life is gonna step up and take a chance or risk and they can have either have 2 options they can fail or succeed but the ones who succeed have more options in life than the ones who fail the people who fail will most likely take every option that they pssibly can to make life better. some people take life for granted and think thing should just come to them instead of following and chasing the things in life that are necessary, for example .a homeless person doesnt have the oppertunity to have a butler or maid to cook them breakfast or food that they want instead they are the ones who have work to hard in life to get the necessary things to get through in life some of them dont want to work for the things they need they think it should just come to them and think other people shoul

Way Out Of Focus
My heart is heavy Heavy with the weight of A dying love The beauty I see Pierces the skin But the pain I feel Pierces the soul The distance I’d walk for you Couldn’t be measured in states Who would have thought The love you have for me Can be measured in weight I stand before you as a man In love And I ask you to Get past the exterior size To see what’s inside Don’t love my body Love what I embody The man I am The essences of you To skim the surface You’d miss the center Never getting to see the big picture Portrait of a life time of love Limitless supply of what happiness is made of You’re drifting away And the thought of you Escaping the horizon Scares me Tyrrie, tyrrie@gmail.com

The Way Of All Flesh
I want to.... --- hear your fantasies. --- see you kneeling in an unbuttoned blouse. --- watch you walk around in nothing but high heels. --- watch you cook dinner dressed only in lingerie. --- bite and tug on your nipples. --- feel your thighs around my head as I lick your pussy. --- have you give me a slow handjob while watching a movie. --- watch you cum. --- see saliva dripping down your chin onto your chest while you suck me. --- hear that gasp you make when I first bury my cock in your cunt. --- pull your hair and slap your ass while fucking you doggie-style. --- hear you say "fuck me like a bitch" again. --- have sex in public. --- look down and see your nose pressed against my stomach while my cock is buried in your throat. --- hear you whisper dirty things to me while we're out, and I can't do anything about it. --- wear those cock rings you bought. --- feel your finger in my ass while you jack me off on your face and tits wit

The Way Out
A poem I wrote out of despair and remorse... The Way Out The Pain Inside is from all around, I cause it to all and make them frown Revenge is sweet, Death is Bitter yet the only way out is to be a quitter! Life is short to see it go. Watch it count down to the end of the show, even though no one knows when the end will come, I know it will for what I have done. Revenge is sweet, Death is bitter... Now I have to think should I be a Quitter? By Robert Frank Piazza Jr. Thank you Nikki I love you

Way Of The Fist....
YOU WANT IT,YOU GOT IT EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED AND MORE YOU SAID IT,I HEARD IT CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR DELETED,DEFEATED,EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER BEEN NO MERCY STRAPPED WITH RAGE GOT NO PATIENCE FOR VICTIMS SICK AND TIRED OF THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU FOR YOUR IMPERFECTIONS YOU MIGHT WIN ONE BATTLE BUT KNOW THIS,I'LL WIN THE FUCKING WAR STEP TP ME MOTHER FUCKER YOU'VE RUN OUT OF TIME TALK THE TALK NOW WALK THE DAMN LINE DESERVE IT,YOU EARNED IT GOT YOURSELF A FUCKING WAR BELIEVE IT,YOU NEED IT FACE DOWN ON THE FUCKING FLOOR I HATE IT,CAN'T TAKE IT WANNA BREAK YOUR FUCKING BONES NO MERCY,YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT IT ALL ALONE

The Way Out Is The Way In
Sir, if you are as happy in entering the White House as I shall feel on returning to Wheatland, you are a happy man indeed. What James Buchanan the outgoing fifteenth President of the United States said to Abraham Lincoln the inaugurated sixteenth is probably not much different from what George W. Bush the outgoing forty-third President said (in a different form) to Barack Obama the inaugurated forty-fourth yesterday afternoon. Of course, Bush would have referred to Crawford, now Wheatland … look, I will do my best to keep political bents out of what I write, but it’s hard for me to not see a culture where throwing mud and parading drama is becoming the order of the day. The critics panning Obama already before he’s really done anything (Christian leaders seem especially nasty based on past statements he’s made) are coming close to handing him the mantle of Lincoln by default. Too many people I see here and too many who have not only high pulpits to speak from but also huge a

The Way Of Things...
I try so hard yet fail so often I ask myself daily why No answers do I hear I give all of myself to others Asking nothing in return I have denied my own true self for so very long Give all yet ask none is who I am More and more each day I despise what I see Less and less do I care to be I tire of this life so short-lived I know how selfish this must sound Yet, I can't change what I feel I need answers to so much I have to find who I am

Way Of The Goddess By Whitefeather
Way of the Goddess When your eyes weep and the road is unclear Your thoughts are clouded, your heart full of fear When life takes a turn that you did not expect With all that you wish for, you fail to connect Just stand in Her moonlight and trust in Her ways For the past and the future, till the end of all days Her love and Her magick shall always burn bright Be it in sunshine or magical Moon light In valleys deep and mountains tall In mighty trees and creatures small Whispy clouds that race across the sky Just like a bird, your heart can fly When you gaze upon ponds. Pebbles and circles of stone And all of the treasures the Goddess calls Her own Let your senses reach out, explore and detect Surely, but surely, with your spirit She’ll connect.

The Way Of The Bayou
June 18, 2009, 8:18 pm The Way of the Bayou By Dan Baum Lori Waselchuk for The New York Times Members of the Jazz Vipers play in the Spotted Cat nightclub on Frenchman Street in New Orleans. Five weeks after Hurricane Katrina, I was wandering around the ruins of New Orleans as a writer for The New Yorker when I heard some really dreadful news. The city was just starting to show signs of life. A few restaurants had opened, albeit with very limited menus — burgers, red beans and rice — served on plastic plates. For those of us who’d stayed through the crisis, these small miracles were our first taste of cooked food in a month. More important, though, was the symbolism. Live music was returning; Coco Robicheaux sang at Molly’s, and three members of the Jazz Vipers played at Angeli. For the first time since the disaster, it was possible to see a future for New Orleans. And then a bombshell: All of the city’s real estate records had been in the

[way Of The Samurai 4 (second Reaction After 8 Hours Of Reading About It)]
I have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have this gameI have to have t

The Way Of Sporting Vocaloid Cosplay Halloween Costumes Causes You To A Character Exactly Who Shows Your Look
What's cosplay? In reality, it is just a carrier to mix the field dress-up costume as well as enjoy, so you can determine cosplay while "dressing upwards just like a identity with regard to fun". Lots of cartoons, activity, sci-fi, in addition to pipe dream events allowed costumed heroes, but it is seen as a lots of enjoyable to decorate as a favourite character to have an function. Cosplay involves not merely anime and game-related costuming, but additionally dressing up while figures through Videos, sci-fi Television for computer string, musicals, and in addition original styles. The particular largest distinction regarding cosplay can be "wearing a costume with public".Just how I think from it, you'll find two different types of cosplay: dressing like a persona, and donning an outfit. Dressing as being a figure indicates that you might be donning a certain model of what is going to become looked at as normal clothes. Now you have an attire that you may possibly understandably placed

A Way Of Life
If you Agree to the Terms as a Fu-Kitteh OR a FU-Kittek Tamer Please Comment to the Blog Below saying you have read it! FU-Kitteh Creed of Ethics We as Fu-Kittehs will not side step Class for anything We will not lower ourselves to petty Kitty Fights We will always stand beside our Tamer who chooses us Our Kitteh Mate ( our tamers secondary) will have our back as I will hers We Do not judge or ignore any new Kittehs. We will always Remain a family. Any bickering among the Kitteh Klan will be settled by our QUEEN! And the King tamer has Final say! There is no room for rumors or drama in our family. And first and lastly to The Kingdom we are faithful.

The Way Of Choosing Perfect Wedding Dress Styles To Flatter Your Figure
Trumpet / Mermaid Curvaceous and really type fitting, this wedding dresses design is usually with the really self-confident bride. Mermaid gowns hug the entire body instead tightly all of the way right down for your knees, in which the attire flares out. This is in fact a truly attractive design that exhibits away ALL of your curves. It screams sophistication and elegance, however may be selected for any barefoot beachfront Wedding Dresses or formal ball space affair. An stylish selection for anybody with broad shoulders, and for people who possess a slender or athletic build, this design can also be especially striking. If you're petite it will elongate your figure, and if you're keen to flaunt your curves, However, if there are particular places you'd instead not accentuate, its clingy style may not be the design for you. Column / Shealth Cheap Simple Wedding Dresses, sleek and elegant, a Column design wedding party gown can fall almost directly right down through the neckline tow

A Way Of Life
A life behind a wall, oblivious to the truth. The way her life has come to be, beyond her tainted youth. Afraid to show her face, hiding beneath the soil. Where the scent of scorched pain, has started to over-boil. Trapped and drowning, in a sweltering river of pain. Flash cards from yesteryear's, are seeping through her veins. But judge her not, for no one has that right. Until they too have been contained, left searching for the light. Close your eyes and feel her pain, that is all that she requests. Live her way of life, and all of its distress. Living in fear of what put her there, it is the only way. Can you smell the heinous acts? The scent of blood betray? It started with one drop, which quickly lead to two. Most people call them Mom and Dad, two names she never knew. For, parents they were not, they sealed her fate that day. The day her gave her up, was the day she went away. To a different realm, someplace she felt was safe. Inside her own min

The Way People Are.
I'd like to ask one simple question. Why people get stupid, and assume dumb things? Ok, I'm married. I won't deny that. I have a 9 year old daughter. BUT I also have a lot of female friends. I have one guy friend that I consider a real friend. I play hockey (have my own team in a men's league, have had for 13 years), and because most of my women friends are the ones I hang out with, I'm automatically assumed that I'm a whore. Sorry, it's not happening like that. There's something wrong with having women friends? Whatever. Call me different, but I'd rather go out to a nice dinner with a friend, go shopping, hang out and watch a movie or even cuddle. But if it's a guy thing, they're out fucking everything that walks, and just being stupid. I don't understand it. The minute a guy has women friends he's doing something wrong? Why is it that people automatically assume the worst of you? I won't DENY that the situation I'm in isn't the BEST, and a lot of times I'm not happy. IF the

The Way People Look
i dont understand alot of things in what this world thinks as beauty im big and im beautiful if u dont like me dont talk to me of u dont like me dont look at me i have a heart of gold i will love you just dont fuck me over

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten over Their Caffeine Addic tions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy " 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds

Ways To Say, "i Love You!"
Share all aspects of your life. Write love comments on the morning newspaper. Be "in the mood." Spray your love letters with perfume. Imagine you are the only two people in the world. Sneak an afternoon nap together. Slip your own message inside your love's fortune cookie. Look for the good in your love. Do his laundry. Send flowers to her office. Leave a love note hidden under the pillow. Wash her car. Browse through old photos of the two of you. Make a practice of long kisses. Cultivate trust by always being honest. Help her on and off with her coat. Give books of romantic poetry. Stage your own kissing marathon. Enjoy a picnic among fountains in an urban plaza setting. Buy your mate a gold coin from the year you met. Surprise your mate with twenty-six gifts from A to Z that begin with each of the letters of the alphabet. Remind all your mate's friends to send them a card on their birthday. Be attentive to your mate's needs. Pick up his s

13 Ways To Kno If U Found Ur Soul Mate
:::13 WAYS TO KNO IF U FOUND UR SOUL MATE::: 13. When your on the phone with them late at night and they hang up but you miss them already when it was just five minutes ago... 12. You read their texts over and over again... 11. You walk really slow when you're with them... 10. You feel shy whenever you're with them... 9. When you think about them, your heart beats faster and faster... 8. You smile when you hear their voice... 7. When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you... all you see is him/her... 6. You start listening to slow songs, while thinking of them... 5. They become all you think about... 4. You get high just from their scent... 3. You realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think about them... 2. You would do anything for them... 1. While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time.....

101 Ways To Annoy People
101s Different Ways to Annoy People... Ask people to buy striped paint and a left handed screwdriver. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. Speak only in a "robot" voice. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. Sniffle incessantly. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

19 Ways To Keep Her!!!
1. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. [She won't trust you if you do & it'll be awkward] 2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other. [She always gets butterflies when you do it; it makes her feel like you want her] 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. [It makes her feel like you really love her.] 4. Cuddle with her. [She'll feel like your there for her] 5. Hug her from behind [It makes her feel special] 6. Write little notes. [She smiles. They're cute; The end] 7. Compliment her Honestly. [No girl likes a liar and no girl likes a person who lies about it when you compliment her] 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. [It makes her feel wanted] 9. Be super sweet to her. = ) [All girls like a super sweet guy] 10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams. [She'll go to bed with a smile] 11. Comfort her when she cries. [She'll feel like you'll ALWAYS be there for her] 12.Wipe away her tears [It'll show you'

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
20 WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy". ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8. Dont use any punctuation ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 9. As often as possible, skip

15 Ways To Get Yourself In Trouble
1) Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts 2)Set all of the alarm clocks in Housewares for 5 minute intervals 3)Leave a trail of tomato juice on the way to the restroom 4)Walk up to an employee, in an official tone say "Code 3 in housewares" and see what happens 5) Go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away 6) Move a 'CAUTION WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area 7) Set up a tent in the camping department and tell the other shoppers that you'll invite them in if they bring you pillows from the bedding department 8) When a clerk asks if they can help you cry and say "Why can't you just leave me alone?!?" 9) Look into a security camera;act like its mirror and pick your nose 10) While handling guns in the gun department, ask the the clerk if he knows where the anti-deppresants are 11) Dart around the store suspicously humming loudly the ' Mission Impossible' theme song 12)In the auto departme

10 Ways To Masturbate!
new top 10!!!! ok kiddies, this week it's top 10 ways to masturbate hope u got ur ky, vaseline, blistex whatever is you need, for some of these props, drugs, and the uknowing use of ur bestfriend maybe needed 10. mans bestfriend, of course we all know what this is from road trip putting peanut butter on your balls and letting your dog lick it off(technically not masturbation but you get the idea) 9. the fists of fury, stroking in an upward motion quickly alternating hands, this takes alot of practice don't try this at home 8. jerk circle, the only reason this is on the list is because even with masturbation the more the merrier 7. the manson, now this one should definitly be left to the pro's everyone remembers the rumors of marilyn manson having his ribs removed to perform felatio on himself 6. hidden finger, masturbating while fingering ones ass, (this is also called the milkmaid, stinkfinger, among others) 5. man in the night, this is a weird one(w

14 Ways To Get The Girl
how to make a girl fall for you...... 1. Hugs from behind. 2. Grab her hand when y'all walk next to each other. 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her honestly. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Be super sweet you her. 10. Pick her over your friends...no matter what. Even if your friends call you pussy whipped. 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12. Love her with all your heart. 13. Pick her up and flirt with her. (She'll scream and say 'Put me down!' but really she loves it.) 14.Be a gentleman (hold the door for her, pick up the tab...don't be the guy who treats his girl like shit cuz he thinks he's too gnarly...grow some balls, you asshole!) 15. Don't be a player...It's gay...and i wouldn't and don't do it and girls don't like it... Girls-Repost this if you think it's sweet. Guys-Repost it if you would do any of it. ...by opening

15 Ways To Feel Sexxxy!
1. Wear lingerie that flatters you. 2. Wear silk boxers. 3. Do your makeup and hair. 4. Work out. 5. Wear sexy clothing. 6. Accept compliments regarding your looks and abilities. 7. Learn more about pleasing your partner. 8. Be the dominant one in your next love-making session. 9. Plan at least one sensual experience a week for your love. 10. Take a shower together. 11. If you're unsure about how to do something, become knowledgeable about it. Confidence is an incredible aphrodisiac. 12. Allow yourself to feel sexy. 13. Don't worry about your appearance. Everyone has flaws, just no one else cares about them as much as you do. 14. Love your partner without abandon. 15. Dance seductively with your partner.

15 Ways To Keep Your Love Alive
1.Talk to each other. Best friends talk!!! Once the initial passion dies down, you are left with conversation. If there is no conversation then the relationship may only be built on the physical, and thus, not likely to last in the long-term. Find new things to talk about every day, even if it is just reporting your day to your loved-one. Talk about current events in the news, the plot of your favorite movie or just discuss plans for the next time you go out. Talking is the key to longevity…don’t forget it! 2.Get away with each other. Take a trip together, whether for a night, a weekend or a week - it will breathe new life into your relationship, as well as test the waters by forcing you out of your ‘safe" environment. Plus, you will be creating memories to last throughout your relationship. (Be sure to take pictures!) 3.Give gifts. Sure, you can survive on love alone - but why? Don’t ever forget the importance of gifts! Don’t feel like you must spend a fortune on gift-givi

Ways To Piss Off A Cop
* Pretend you are gay and ask him out. When he says no, cry. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment. * If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way. * If he asks you to step off the bike, automatically throw yourself onto his hood. * When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way. * When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first" * After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name." * Trip and fall into him. Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away. * Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar..... * When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin. * When he asks to inspect your bike, say there is no alcohol on my bike, sir, the last cop got it. * If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner. * If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner. Oops...I meant OVER for di

101 Ways To Becoming A Better Asshole
1. Argue with everybody. 2. Touch the paintings at the museum. 3. Get hysterical. 4. Threaten law suits. 5. Insinuate, implicate and insist. 6. If you got it, flaunt it. 7. Eat produce at the grocery store and don't pay for it. 8. Gamble with the rent money. 9. Record over a borrowed vcr tape 10. Tell people that they are in your will, even if they aren't. 11. Don't get caught. 12. Stay directly in front or behine fire trucks and ambulances. 13. When giving out directions, leave out a turn or two. 14. Don't make up your mind. 15. Improve your posture by walking with your nose in the air. 16. Remind people who lose their job that they should work harder. 17. Talk with your mouth full. 18. Accuse, confuse and refuse. 19. Comment on the weight gain of others. 20. Adjust your nuts (boob) whenever you want. 21. Keep a pile of wisecracks for tense and serious situations. 22. Answer a question with a question. 23. See what it takes for the lifeguard to blow the whistle.

22 Ways..
1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not fine, or sexy) 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 8 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. 10 . Play with her hair. 11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. 12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16 . Give her piggyback rides. 17 . Bring her flowers 18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone. 19 . Look her in the eyes and smile. 20 . Let h

29 Ways To Make A Woman Smile..;)
29 Ways to make a Woman Smile 1. Tell her she is beautiful...not hot! 2. Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3. Hug her from behind 4. Leave her voice messages to hear when she wakes up. 5. When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7. If you're talking to another girl, when your done talking, walk over and hug her and kiss her....let her know she's yours and they arent. 8. Write her notes or call her just to say "hi" 9. Introduce her to your friends . . . as your girl. 10. Play with her hair.(except if she spent alot of time curling it) 11. Pick her up (she loves it) 12. Get upset if another guy touches her and she doesn't like it 13. Make her laugh. 14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15. If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16. If you care about her, then (we all know this is a challenge) TELL

*28* Ways To Make A Girl *smile*
1 . Tell her she is beautiful, not hott, fine or sexy. 2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . Always tell her you love her at any and all times. 6 . When she is upset hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usally mean the most. 8 . Call her sweetie 9 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is. 10 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 11 . Write her notes. {she loves them} 12 . Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend. 13 . Play with her hair. 14 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her. 15 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 16 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes. 17 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her. 18 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 19 . Carve your names into a Tree. 20

Ways To Get Along With Everyone
"Proven Ways to Get Along Better With EVERYONE" 1. Before you say anything to anyone, ask yourself 3 things: 1. Is it true? 2. Is it kind? 3. Is it necessary? 2. Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully. 3. Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone. 4. Refuse to talk negatively about others; don't gossip and don't listen to gossip. 5. Have a forgiving view of people. Believe that most people are doing the best they can. 6. Keep an open mind; discuss, but don't argue. (It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable.) 7. Forget about counting to 10. Count to 1,000 before doing or saying anything that could make matters worse. 8. Let your virtues speak for themselves. 9. If someone criticizes you, see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying; if so, make changes. If there is no truth to the criticism, ignore it and live so that no one

22 Ways To Make A Girl Smile
22 Ways To Make A Girl Smile :) Body: 1. Tell her she is beautiful or gorgeous(not fine, or sexy) 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead/ neck. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 8 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . as your girlfriend. 10 . Play with her hair. 11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. 12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16 . Give her piggyback rides. 17 . Bring her flowers 18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.

10 Ways To Know
1. Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge. 2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies. 3. An earthquake of 5.4 on the Richter Scale is recorded in your area. 4. The cat's exhausted from just watching you. 5. A trampoline company has to come to adjust your bedsprings. 6. You've both gone down one clothing size. 7. You cancel your chiropractic appointment. There's nothing left to adjust. 8. You have to breathe into a brown paper bag. 9. Boy, are you hungry! 10. You're absolutely satisfied yet uncontrollably horny at the same time.

The Ways Of Love
The ways of Love I didn't know that your face would be different in sleep or that you arms would lock around me for all of the night And only hold tighter if I tried to move away I didn't know on those nights you were asleep before I came to our bed That the slightest whisper of a touch against the sheets Would awaken you and your arms would reach out or me I didn't know that during the early dawn when I moved against you That I would hear you ,half asleep, whisper "I Love You" I could not have imagined how it would feel to wake to your gentle touch Brushing the hair from my eyes so you could kiss my cheek My Darling, I just didn't know that there are more ways than one to be loved.

7 Ways To Drive A Man Wild
) Dress in a way that makes you feel sexy and also flatters your figure. Let's face it some of us look ridiculous in stilettos. Red is almost always a good color. Try a red slinky dress and comfortable undergarments. Those torture devices they sell to suck in our guts look great under the dress but are not sexy at all when you are trying to yank them off for a wild night of pleasure. 2) Pay attention to what he has to say for a change. Yes you can talk about yourself but a man finds it really refreshing when a woman allows him to have his own time in the spotlight. 3) Don't talk about your ex. If he asks, keep it short and sweet. You are starting fresh with this guy. No need to bring in the ghost of past relationships. You are perfect to him in the beginning. There is no reason to make him wonder if the last guy who dumped you was right. 4)Wear a light attractive scent. This means layering scents. Bathe in scented bath oils first. Then apply a light powder in the same scent. F

Ways To Order A Pizza
If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask person taking the order to stop doing that. Ask to see a menu. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation." Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other l ine and you're going with the lowest bidder. Tell them to put the crust on top this time. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief. Eliminate verbs from your speech. Ask to see a menu. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

20 Ways To Confuse Trick Or Treaters
1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, bags of sand, golf balls etc). 2. Wait behind te door until some people come,when they get near the door jump out, wearing a cosume and holding a bag, and yell "Trick or treat"! Look at them , scratch your head and act confused. 3. Fill a brief case with marbles and crackers and write on it 'top secret'. When trick or treaters come look around supiciously and say "Its about time you got here", give them the briefcase and quickly shut the door. 4. Get about 30 people to wait in you living room, when trick or treaters come to the door say ,"Come in". when they do everyone yell "Surprise!!!" and act like its a surprise party. 5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out whats wrong with your dishwasher. Insist it makes an unnatural 'whirring' sound. 6. After you give them candy hand the trick or treaters a bill. 7. Open the door dressed as a giant fish, collapse and don't move or spe

20 Ways To Confuse Trick Or Treaters (from A Bullitin)
1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, bags of sand, golf balls etc). 2. Wait behind te door until some people come,when they get near the door jump out, wearing a cosume and holding a bag, and yell "Trick or treat"! Look at them , scratch your head and act confused. 3. Fill a brief case with marbles and crackers and write on it 'top secret'. When trick or treaters come look around supiciously and say "Its about time you got here", give them the briefcase and quickly shut the door. 4. Get about 30 people to wait in you living room, when trick or treaters come to the door say ,"Come in". when they do everyone yell "Surprise!!!" and act like its a surprise party. 5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out whats wrong with your dishwasher. Insist it makes an unnatural 'whirring' sound. 6. After you give them candy hand the trick or treaters a bill. 7. Open the door dressed as a giant fish, collapse and don't move or spe

Ways To Spot An Idiot (from A Bullitin)
You can be sure someone is an idiot when he/she: Spends twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said concentrate. Puts lipstick on their forhead because he wanted to makeup his mind. Gets stabbed in a shoot-out. Sends a fax with a stamp on it. Was on the corner giving out potato chips yellin' "Free Lays!" Tries to drown a fish. If you gave them a penny for their intelligence, you'd get change. Thinks socialism means partying. Trips over a cordless phone. Takes a ruler to bed to see how long they slept. At the bottom of the application where it says "Sign Here" he put Sagittarius." Takes 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. Studies for a blood test and fails. Invents a solar powered flashlight. Sells the car for gas money. Heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, he moves. Misses the 44 bus, and takes the 22 bus twice instead. Takes you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport left", he turned around and went h

20 Ways To Confuse Trick Or Treaters (repost) I Can Garuntee I Will Try Some Of This.
20 ways to confuse trick or treaters (repost) I can garuntee i will try some of this. 1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, bags of sand, golf balls etc). 2. Wait behind te door until some people come,when they get near the door jump out, wearing a cosume and holding a bag, and yell "Trick or treat"! Look at them , scratch your head and act confused. 3. Fill a brief case with marbles and crackers and write on it 'top secret'. When trick or treaters come look around supiciously and say "Its about time you got here", give them the briefcase and quickly shut the door. 4. Get about 30 people to wait in you living room, when trick or treaters come to the door say ,"Come in". when they do everyone yell "Surprise!!!" and act like its a surprise party. 5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out whats wrong with your dishwasher. Insist it makes an unnatural 'whirring' sound. 6. After you give them candy hand the trick or t

20 Ways To Maintain Your Sanity
20 Ways to Maintain Your Sanity 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”. 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for smuggling diamonds”. 7. Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy”. 8. Don’t use any punctuation. 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go”. 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work. 14. Go to a po

Ways To Say I Love You
Have you ever felt at a loss for words or ways to describe your feelings for your partner? At some point in any relationship the need for a sentimental or unique way to say I love you comes up. Below is a few of our favorite ideas! I'd also like to send a special thank you to every one who left their response! :) Actions Speak Louder Than Words Place notes in your lover's lunch telling him how much you love him. Page you sweetheart with an I Love You page. Give her a soft kiss. Make everyday things special. Give your love a little note or sending him an e-mail with a poem in it. Listen to her every word. Making a list of everything you love about them. No matter how stupid. Spend quality time with the one you love. Have flowers delivered with a note attached saying simply, "I love you." Give unexpected hugs and kisses in unexpected places. Cook them their favorite meal. Hold each other when you fall asleep. Just be

22 Ways
1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not fine, or sexy) 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 8 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. 10 . Play with her hair. 11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. 12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16 . Give her piggyback rides. 17 . Bring her flowers 18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone. 19 . Look her in the eyes and smile. 20 . Let h

22 Ways To Make A Girl Smile :)
1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not fine, or sexy) 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 8 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. 10 . Play with her hair. 11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. 12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16 . Give her piggyback rides. 17 . Bring her flowers 18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone. 19 . Look her in the eyes and smile. 20 . Let h

Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity . 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso . 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Dont use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosqu

22 Ways To Make A Girl Smile
1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not fine, or sexy) 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 8 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. 10 . Play with her hair. 11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. 12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16 . Give her piggyback rides. 17 . Bring her flowers 18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone. 19 . Look her in the eyes and smile. 20 . Let h

22 Ways To Make A Girl Smile (my Guy Does All This!)
1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not fine, or sexy) 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 8 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. 10 . Play with her hair. 11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. 12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16 . Give her piggyback rides. 17 . Bring her flowers 18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone. 19 . Look her in the eyes and smile. 20 . Let h

19 Ways To Win A Girls Heart....
1. Hugs from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other(don't make her grab yours). 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her Honestly. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Be super sweet to her. 10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams. 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12. Wipe away her tears 13. Love her with all your heart. 14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it). 15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her). 16. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her! & DONT ever act diff in front of ur friends than u r when its just u and her!!!! 17. Take her for a long walk at night! 18. Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside when its cold to comfort her and hold her close 19. NEVER LIE TO HER!!!!!! because then she will think everything you e

63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop
1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?" 2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race. 3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf. 4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to...... 5. Ask if you can see his gun. 6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger. 7. Touch him. 8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat. 9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat. 10. Refer to him by his first name. 11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out. 12. When he says no, cry. 13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment. 14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way. 15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood. 16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way. 17. When he puts the handcuffs

7 Ways To Fight Fair
by Jennifer Good "Seek first to understand, then to be understood." -Source Unknown Don't hold back communication. You should always feel free to express an upset or talk about something you feel is wrong. Remember, it isn't WHAT you say… it's HOW you say it! Make sure you have enough time to actually hash out your differences. If you try to stop your partner on his way to work, or you call her on your lunch break, chances are you're going to be left feeling dissatisfied and unacknowledged due to a lack of time. If necessary, agree upon a future time to discuss the matter at hand. Being considerate of your partner's time contributes to the amount of courtesy your partner will show when faced with your discussion. Don't assume anything! It is not possible to know exactly what is going on, unless you actually hear it from your partner's perspective. Don't try to figure out what they're thinking, just ask. It can save you a lot of grief and avoid HUGE misconceptions by taking

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors." 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Dont use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

Ways To Avoid A Speeding Ticket..
...HOW NOT TO GET A SPEEDING TICKET... First of all, it's important that you know what a speeding ticket is: a speeding ticket is a piece of paper that a police officer gives to you if you have been driving faster than the legal limit. It is NOT a ticket that allows you entrance to a moto-cross show. Speeding tickets come with hefty monetary fines and usually and increase on your car insurance premium. You do not want a speeding ticket. There are several different options to follow to not receive a speeding ticket. ...OPTION #1: Do not drive faster than the legal limit... This is the most effective method of not receiving a speeding ticket. It is also the most boring. If you are a big boring baby, than take this advice. I hope you like happier people zooming past you at delightfully exhilarating speeds on the highway/freeway/byway/speedway as they live fulfilling lives of not being in their cars quite as much as you and waiting longer to leave home and getting where the

Ways To Relieve Stress Xd
Stressed out...try some of these relaxing tidbits :) 1. Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out. (This one is great to teach neices and nephews!) 2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa bill. (Even better to call after doing it and say you didn't authorize it and want to know what the hell is going on!) 3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. (This one keeps cats and men occupied for awhile.) 4. When someone says "Have a nice day" tell them you have other plans. (Like going the store to stock up on ammunition maybe?) 5. Get a box of condoms. Wait in line at the check-out counter and ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are. (And if she's cute, always ask if assistance is available.) 6. Dance naked in front of your pets. (Not recommended for anyone with a pet Gorilla.) 7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards, and send him/her off to school as if nothing is wrong. (You can get real creative here...especially if you put a dre

Way's To Say No
Ways to say no * I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it. * I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products. * I have to floss my pets. * I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted. * I want to spend more time with my blender. * I'm attending the opening of my garage door. * I'm building a pig from a kit. * I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling. * I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy. * I'm getting my overalls overhauled. * I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal. * I'm staying home to work on my mottled yogurt sculptures. * I'm teaching my ferret to yodel. * I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes. * I've got plans to go downtown to try on gloves. * It's my parakeet's bowling night. * My patent is pending. * The nice man on television told me to stay tuned.

7 Ways To Help The Earth
Respecting The Planet 1. Reducing consumption is the ultimate investment in a more beautiful future. The simplest actions, such as turning off unnecessary lamps, or not purchasing products with excessive packaging, can make a profound impact. 2. Recycling is a gift to the earth, but the process isn't always clear. If your area doesn't support a community recycling program, lobby for one. Local markets may offer bottle and can recycling, particularly in states that offer incentives in the form of deposit returns. Every effort, even when small, is valuable. 3. Sustain nature. Planting a tree, a shrub, or vegetable garden, or simply nurturing a potted plant results in the blessing of pure oxygen. The National Wildlife Federation encourages people to conserve in their own backyards by creating a natural backyard habitat that is home to wild animals as well as plants. You can even have your own garden certified as a backyard habitat. 4. The average amount of waste created by

~*ways To Keep Ur Me*~
~*WAYS TO KEEP UR LADY*~ "19 ways to keep a girl" 1. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. [She won't trust you if you do & it'll be awkward] 2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other. [She always gets butterflies when you do it; it makes her feel like you want her] 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. [It makes her feel like you really love her.] 4. Cuddle with her. [She'll feel like your there for her] 5. Hug her from behind [It makes her feel special] 6. Write little notes. [She smiles. They're cute; The end] 7. Compliment her Honestly. [No girl likes a liar and no girl likes a person who lies about it when you compliment her] 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. [It makes her feel wanted] 9. Be super sweet to her. [All girls like a super sweet guy] 10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams. [She'll go to bed with a smile] 11. Comfort her when she cries. [She'll feel like you'll ALWAYS be there

13 Ways To Celebrate Yule
13 Ways To Celebrate Yule Light up your house on Solstice Night to remember that the light will return. Use candles, twinkle lights and light a Yule log if you have a fireplace. Send Yule cards. Make your own (kids love this) or buy them. You can find Christmas cards that are patently Pagan featuring holly wreaths, Yule logs, partridges, etc. Pagan and Pagan-friendly folks will be delighted to receive them. The rest won't know the difference. String popcorn and cranberry garlands for your Yule tree. After Twelfth Day or whenever you take down the Yule tree, hang them outside on trees and bushes for birds and small wildlife to share. Make a Yule log. A fireplace without a Yule log on Solstice Night is a wasted fireplace. Tell stories. Gather friends and family around the fire and tell the story of The Oak King and the Holly King. Decorate your home. Decorate a tree the day before Yule and leave it up at least until Twelfth Night. Make your own decorations

Ways To Say I Love U
I adore you. I am infatuated with you. I appreciate you. I can't live without you. I can't stop thinking about you when we're apart. I cherish you. I dream of you. I live for our love. I love being around you. I need you by my side. I need you. I respect you. I value you. I want a lifetime with you. I want you. I worship you. I yearn for you. I'm a better person because of you. I'm blessed to have you in my life. I'm devoted to you. I'm fond of you. I'm lost without you. I'm nothing without you. I'm passionate about you. I'm thankful for you. I'm yours. Me and you. Always. My love is unconditional. Our love is invaluable. Take me, I'm yours. The thought of you brings a smile to my face Together, forever. We were meant to be together. You are a blessing in disguise. You are an angel from God. You are like a candle burning bright. You are my crush. You are my dear. You are my everything. You are my one and onl

20 Ways To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.......
You should print this out and put it by your desk!!!!!!!!!!!! 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker for 3 weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhy

45 Ways To Order A Pizza
1 - Use CB lingo where applicable. 2 - Answer their questions with questions. 3 - Ask, "If I don't eat it all, can I return the unused portion for credit?" 4 - Ask if the drivers really carry less than $20 in change. When they confirm this, act disappointed and say, "Ok, well could you send two drivers?" 5 - Tell them you would like to see a copy of their restaurant inspection report. 6 - Say in a retarded voice, "I had pizza today, it had jello on it." 7 - Ask them what toppings are best for someone who's constipated. 8 - Stop them in mid-sentence and tell them you'll call back after they've learned a little respect. 9 - When they ask where to deliver it, give them their address. Insist it's your address. 10 - As they start to repeat the order, say, "Oh wait just a second. I suppose I should get this on tape." 11 - Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE. 12 - Tell them to put the crust o

45 Ways To Order Pizza: Funny
1 - Use CB lingo where applicable. 2 - Answer their questions with questions. 3 - Ask, "If I don't eat it all, can I return the unused portion for credit?" 4 - Ask if the drivers really carry less than $20 in change. When they confirm this, act disappointed and say, "Ok, well could you send two drivers?" 5 - Tell them you would like to see a copy of their restaurant inspection report. 6 - Say in a retarded voice, "I had pizza today, it had jello on it." 7 - Ask them what toppings are best for someone who's constipated. 8 - Stop them in mid-sentence and tell them you'll call back after they've learned a little respect. 9 - When they ask where to deliver it, give them their address. Insist it's your address. 10 - As they start to repeat the order, say, "Oh wait just a second. I suppose I should get this on tape." 11 - Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST-EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE. 12 - Tell them to put the crust on top this

15 Ways
15 Mistakes women make when having sex: (according to men)* 1. *BEING PASSIVE -* Don't let him undress you and himself. Just help him a little bit: like making the first step. Just because we are men it doesn't mean that we must do all the job. 2. *WEARING JEANS OR TIGHT PANTS -* It takes time to take off these kind of clothes. Every second counts. Remember one thing:the more time yougot, the more rounds you got, and the more rounds you got the more satisfied you get. 3. *GOING DOWN HALFWAY* - Once you start going down, don't stop at the belly button, keep going or just don't go past the neck at all. 4. *CHOCKING HIS CHICKEN* - Men feel pain, we are not as tough as you think. No man has a leather dick. You got to be smooth with the dick. Pulling it too hard doesn't make us feelhorny, it hurts even though we don't tell you. 5. *LICKING HIS EAR TOO MUCH* - It's just the same as a dog licking a bitches ass. 6. *MOANING LIKE A RUNNER THAT NEEDS

27 Ways...
TAKE NOTES GUYS lol just kidding *27* ways to make a girl smile . . . *1 . Tell her she is beautiful, not hott, fine or sexy. *2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it just for a second. *3 . Kiss her on the forehead. *4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. *5 . Always tell her you love her at any and all times. *6 . When she is upset hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. *7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. *8 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is. *9 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. *10 . Write her notes. {she loves them} *11 . Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend. *12 . Play with her hair. *13 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her. *14 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. *15 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes. *16 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her. *17 . L

27 Ways To Make Her Feel Special
*27* ways to make a girl smile . . . *1 . Tell her she is beautiful, not hott, fine or sexy. *2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it just for a second. *3 . Kiss her on the forehead. *4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. *5 . Always tell her you love her at any and all times. *6 . When she is upset hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. *7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. *8 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is. *9 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. *10 . Write her notes. {she loves them} *11 . Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend. *12 . Play with her hair. *13 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her. *14 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. *15 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes. *16 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her. *17 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. *1

27 Ways To Please Me
TAKE NOTES GUYS lol just kidding *27* ways to make a girl smile . . . *1 . Tell her she is beautiful, not hott, fine or sexy. *2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it just for a second. *3 . Kiss her on the forehead. *4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. *5 . Always tell her you love her at any and all times. *6 . When she is upset hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. *7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. *8 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is. *9 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. *10 . Write her notes. {she loves them} *11 . Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend. *12 . Play with her hair. *13 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her. *14 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. *15 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes. *16 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her. *17 . L

18 Ways To A Girls Heart
18 ways to a girls heart 1. Hugs from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other. 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her Honestly. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Be super sweet to her. 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12.Wipe away her tears 13. Love her with all your heart. 14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it). 15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her). 16. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her! 17. Take her for a long walk at night! 18. Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside to comfort her and hold her close

20 Ways To Confuse Santa
20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus 1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants. 4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly. 5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit! 6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa." 7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home. 8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chi

20 Ways To Confuse Santa
1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants. 4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly. 5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit! 6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa." 7. Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home. 8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him le

20 Ways To Maintain Your Insanity
TWENTY WAYS TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY: 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They want fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Lab! el It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds." 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Dont use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recit

Ways To Help Deployed Troops
http://www.clermontyellow.accountsupport.com/flash/UntilThen.swf During the holiday season, I hope everyone will keep our troops who are deployed and their families in your thoughts and prayers. I know that the war in Iraq is an extremely controversial topic these days, but whether you support the war or not, our soldiers deserve our respect and our support. Unfortunately, because of the war controversy and many peoples dislike of the situation in Iraq, this contempt gets placed on our troops and they are coming home to a country that no longer shows support and thanks to them for the service they provide. We take many things for granted in this country, including our freedom, which we would not have if it was not for our fathers and grandfathers, etc., and which we won't have in the future if it wasn't for those who selflessly volunteer to serve their country. Please remember that it is the people that we elect (which I hope EVERYONE voted) who decide for these men an

Ways To Help Our Deployed Troops!
http://www.clermontyellow.accountsupport.com/flash/UntilThen.swf During the holiday season, I hope everyone will keep our troops who are deployed and their families in your thoughts and prayers. I know that the war in Iraq is an extremely controversial topic these days, but whether you support the war or not, our soldiers deserve our respect and our support. Unfortunately, because of the war controversy and many peoples dislike of the situation in Iraq, this contempt gets placed on our troops and they are coming home to a country that no longer shows support and thanks to them for the service they provide. We take many things for granted in this country, including our freedom, which we would not have if it was not for our fathers and grandfathers, etc., and which we won't have in the future if it wasn't for those who selflessly volunteer to serve their country. Please remember that it is the people that we elect (which I hope EVERYONE voted) who decide for these men and women

40 Ways
40 ways men FAIL in bed pay attention you guys ;-) 1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A properly passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay. 2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts. 3) NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance. 4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hands on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them. 5) BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples,

Ways To Make Me Klimaxxxx
#1 Don't be afraid, dive in face first! But! #2 Be gentle, the clitoris is very sensitive and can go numb if it receives too much direct stimulation right away! #3 Balance: The lips and vaginal vault are the fields and the clitoris is the fruit, don't be in such a hurry to harvest the fruit that you don't prepare and fertilize the fields. #4 Patience/Teasing get her warmed up by slowly working outside to inside, up to down and using light tongue pressure initially, only when she has started to plateau do you employ the nose, flat of the tongue etc. to go at the clitoris directly. #5 Circles, lines, swirls and waves-you've heard this: Write Your Name, the Alphabet, Lyrics to "The Freaks Come Out at Night" The Preamble to The Declaration of Independance, All the Books of the Bible etc. It doesn't matter what method you use just make sure to use these motions:Circles, lines, swirls and waves. # 6 Read the signs. How is she reacting to what you are doi

20 Ways To Make His Xmas Xxxmas!
20 Ways To Make HIS Xmas XXXmas! 1. Trim his tree. 2. Lick his luscious candy cane. 3. Be his "ho-ho-ho" for the holidays. 4. Polish his christmas balls. 5. Ride him like a reindeer. 6. Taste his sweet egg-nog. 7. Deck the halls with moans of pleasure. 8. Fa, la, la, latio- la, la, la, la. 9. Spark his menorah with a hot strip tease. 10. Request a stiff stocking stuff-her! 11. Make his Kris Kringle tingle. 12. Gift wrap yourself in sexy lingere. 13. Unwrap his package. 14. Hang mistletoe from any place you want kissed. 15. Rock his jingle bells in the frosty air. 16. Make your Rudolph's hose as red as his nose. 17. Heat him up with a snow job. 18. Give the Christmas carolers a show of your own. 19. Dress up as Santa's nasty little helper. 20. Make sure you're naughty, so it's nice.

22 Ways To Make A Girl Smile
i know all these are how to make me smile... i dont know about other ladies 1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not fine, or sexy) 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 8 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. 10 . Play with her hair. 11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. 12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16 . Give her piggyback rides. 17 . Bring her flowers 18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when y

The Ways Of The Samurai
for you nuts out their or me some people no long fear the linar world that coexist with this one nore to day fear the spirt world nor repect it for me my blood is of equal value for not so much you fear the blood that you for you see between the terror that is mine and the fear that is your bring you might and your will before me if you think you can see in the dark for i stair in to the abyss of your soul and i see nothing but fear and worry for me i nither fear nore worry about that dark abyss of my shadowy soul for me its a wakeing and for you its fear of liveing with out i dont not fear to be with out just fear live with out for me this the ultimate way of liveing if you fear death the maybe this kind of life you should stay clear of for me its about harmony and and justice and peace not vegnance anger , and hate , and revenge will never bring anyone or peps like you justice or harmony or peace only balance wil and that people will some time neve

60 Ways To Show It
60 ways on how you should treat the one you love 1- Hold them 2-Talk to them 3-Share your secrets 4-Offer her your jacket if she looks cold 5-Kiss them slowly 6-Hug her 7-Hold her tightly 8-Laugh with her 9-Invite her somewhere/out 10-Let her be with you when you're with your friends 11-Make her laugh..they will ALWAYS love that 12-Take pix with her 13-Pull her onto your lap 14-When she says she loves you more, tell her you love her back , but actually mean it. 15- Take pictures with her in a photobooth 16-Always greet her with a hug 17-Kiss her unexpectedly 18-Hug her from behind the waist 19-Tell her shes beautiful or pretty, not sexy or hott. 20-Tell her how you really feel about her. 21-Kiss her on the lips 22-Give her EsKiMo kisses 23-Tell her what feels good 24-Make her feel loved 25-Hear her out 26-Be truthful and honest 27-Don't cheat on her 28-Sing to her (NO MATTER how BAD your voice sounds) 29-Text messege or call her in the morning and tell

Ways To Survive
Priorities of my life changes every single day As the things i wish for, never comes my way So i keep sailing without any hope by my side Learning with time, different ways to survive My life has been a rainbow with shades of grey Now the brightest of them is simply fading away Pushed back and forth by my destiny's tide And i just kept on learning ways to survive Subsiding deep inside my own living clay Remembering moments which went astray Fought all alone with my reflection's strife While my heart was learning ways to survive Bending till i break, so that i could pray Screaming till he hears what i have to say Searching for a piece of my lost pride Dying everyday while learning ways to survive

22 Ways To Make A Girl Smile .... Some Of You Men Need Learn From This...
1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not fine, or sexy) 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 8 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. 10 . Play with her hair. 11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. 12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16 . Give her piggyback rides. 17 . Bring her flowers 18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone. 19 . Look her in the eyes and smile. 20 . Let h

27 Ways To Say I Love You
English I Love You Spanish Te Amo French Je T'aime German lch Liebe Dich Japanese Ai Shite Imasu Italian Ti Amo Chinese Wo Ai Ni Swedish Jag Alskar Alabama Arkansas Kansas Oklahoma Texas North Carolina South Carolina Georgia Tennessee Idaho Missouri Mississippi Montana Louisiana Virginia West Virginia Kentucky parts of Florida: Nice Ass, Git in the truck!

10 Ways To Terrorize A Telemarketer
10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer Number 10: When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died." Number 9: If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. Number 8: Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from. Number 7: If Verison calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?" Number 6: If they want to loan you money, tell them

Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity. 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Dont use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme 14. Put Mosquito Ne

10 Ways To Ruin A Romantic Moment .
1. During lingering eye contact; say, WOW! you really do I look like my brother. 2. After he give you an expensive necklace just because, squeal giddily, then ask if he got a gift receipt. 3. Instead of saying I Do, Yell Deal! and pump your fist at the crowd. 4. When he plans an uber-romantic night out roses, limo,dinner, express your glee by taking camera-phone pictures of every step and immediately texting your best pal to describe what he's doing now. 5. If he snuggles up to you and ask Could anything make this night more perfect ? Say, Ice cream, and make him go buy a pint. 6. During postdeed cuddling, pry his arms from around you and mutter. Oof, you never used to be so mushy all the time. 7. When he bringflowers, fake sneeze and say you're allergic to anything less than $4 per stem. 8. As you're both getting undressed, give him elevator eyes and ask if he ever gets self-conscious about his womanly hips. 9. Before you accept anything he proposes, ask to

The Ways The Pety Games Are Played
Silly little headtrips one and all. Drama when the need is none. Twisting and distorting for insignificate gains. I fail to see your mindset and conclusions. Ignorince is the practice of the populus. Spitting on the under. Even the trusted can no longer be trusted. One and all All demons under there skin. Karma shall reach u qwick. Strangers in there eyes proper dealings on a thin shell. Look no closer to people in association for discors. Stutter and try, wiesle and lie. An assortment of broken, pety things. I want none of what u construct. Now if only I could get the pain to mend. And the sound to siese. Your ways shall be but a joke on my lips, and chuckle under my breath. Karma swift on the wind. Gets u all in the end. I.R.M 08/01/07

Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. Every time anything happens say, "Now that's what I'm talkin' about." Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in." Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors" Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." Dont use any punctuation As often as possible, skip rather than walk. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." Sing along at the opera. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme Put mosquito netting around your work area

Ways To Approach Life
1UNDERSTAND THAT NO ONE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU ARE,AND THAT NO ONE IS LESS IMPORTANT. 2.YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE UNIQUE,AND THAT YOU HAVE CONTRIBUTION TO MAKE TO THIS WORLD. 3.YOU REALIZE THAT THERE ARE NO MISTAKES ONLY LESSONS 4.YOU WORK DAILY TO IMPROVE YOUR SKILLS AND SELF KNOWLEDGE. 5.YOU TAKE PRIDE IN DOinG YOUR BEST 6.YOU PROMOTE SELF CONFIDENCE IN THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM YOU WORK WITH N LIKE 7.YOU PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH,YOU WALK YOUR TALK I like to remind myself of this

20 Ways To Tell Someone Their Zipper Is Down
20. The cucumber has left the salad. 19. I can see the gun of Navarone. 18. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. 17. You've got Windows on your laptop. 16. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave. 15. Your soldier ain't so unknown now. 14. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. 13. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. 12. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson... 11. Your pod bay door is open, Hal. 10. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building! 9. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod. 8. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir! 7. The Buick is not all the way in the garage. 6. Dr. Kimble has escaped! 5. You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary." 4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction... 3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. 2. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it? 1. I thought you were crazy, now I can

30 Ways To Make A Girl Smile
30 Ways To Make A Girl Smile *1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not hot, fine, or sexy) *2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. *3 . Kiss her on the forehead. *4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. *5 . Always tell her you love her. *6 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. *7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. *8 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is. *9 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. *10 . Write her notes. (she loves them) *11 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. *12 . Play with her hair. *13 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. *14 . Sit and just talk to her. *15 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. *16 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night . . . just because you missed her. *17 . Let her fall as

10 Ways To Annoy A Telemarketer
10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." 9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. 8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where she could know you from. 7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends ... would you be my friend?" 6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 5. Tell the te

2 Ways To Look At Things
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table. The wife asks, "Do you know her?" "Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My God!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" :D

20 Ways To Win A Girl's Heart.
1. Hug her from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other(don't make her grab yours). 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. Don't force her to do anything. 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her honestly. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Be super sweet to her. 10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams. 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12.Wipe away her tears 13. Love her with all your heart. 14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she will scream and say put me down but really, she loves it). 15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her). 16. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it will get back to her! 17. Don't ever act different in front of your friends than you are when its just you and her!!!! 18. Take her for a long walk at night! 19. Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside when its cold to comfort her and hold her close. 20. Neve

The Ways To Womans Heart
when im close to you i i long to make you smile when im alone with all i want is to know whats on your mind, i lean in to show you my affection, when i look into your eye i can see you seduction when i place your hands with mine a can feel connection, what is the desire holding me back from kissing your lips, the way your sitting on my lap grinding your hips when i runing my fingers thru your hair feelin the soft skin its attacted to and thee aroma it send in my direction our foreheads are next together as i noses rub side to side i run the back of my hand along your smoothe face, but all i want is to longing to kiss your lips looking deep into your loving eyes its makes me feel i wanna cry.. tears of joy running down my face my emotions get the best of me, as i wrap my arms around you and tell you that i love you, you lean back and rest your head on my shoulder.. i think im in the right place at the right time i want to be..making you feel this much love is my fantasy

5 Ways To Tell If Youre A Partier
5.if you consider a 40 oz of bud breakfast. 4.if you woke up this mornin with 2 topless blondes and this isn't the first time that's happened this week. 3.if you're starting to be one with the "hangover". 2.if you are really starting to believe you can fly. And the #1 way to tell if you're a partier is you're reading this. Cuz there was not ever really a doubt in your mind that you were was there!

Ways To Get Started...
Want to lose weight and become fit and healthy? You do? Well, the first step to taking control is to become educated! Consult your doctor, read books, speak to a fitness instructor... A few basic steps to get you started are as follows: 1)Walk. If you're cleaning the house and you have a bit of extra time, make five trips instead of gathering everything at once. Bundle up and go out or if it's too cold, go visit a mall and use it as an indoor walking track. Every extra step you take will add up and help! 2)Hydrate! I cannot stress to you the importance of drinking water and keeping your body properly hydrated. Your skin tone will improve. You'll feel better. It'll cut down on false hunger (you think you're hungry, but you're simply thirsty). It'll help your liver function better. It'll flush toxins and whatnot from your body... 3)Add a little bounce! If you have to vacuum, turn on Aerosmith's Dude(Looks Like a Lady) and go to work Mrs. Doubtfire style. Dance around in

5 Ways To Trigger "sexual Tenison" With Women
5 Ways To Trigger "Sexual Tension" With Women >NOTE: If you'd like to read the story of how I learned to attract and meet women... and get dates with models, dancers, actresses... and many fantastic "regular" girls as well, just go here: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/Catalog/ SEXUAL TENSION... AND HOW TO CREATE IT... Let me ask you a quick question. It's a question that MOST men do NOT know the answer to... It's also a question that most women DO know the answer to... The question: "What is SEXUAL TENSION?" Take a minute and "mentally answer" that question. Think it over if you have to. I'm not kidding. Think about it. What did you come up with? To most men, the words "Sexual Tension" are a MYSTERY. They just don't make sense. Or if they DO make sense, they make sense in a way that DOESN'T make sense. Make sense? In other words, some guys think that the words Sexual Tension mean "ne

7 Ways To Orally Please A Woman
If you don't like to do it with the spirit that this is the best thing in the world, then just don't do it. Use your lips and tongue generously. Focus your attention on what you are doing rather than what lies ahead for you. Let this be her moment. Expect nothing in return (though if it happens, then enjoy it). Explore the body. You will find the pleasure zones yourself because you will notice the change in her response. Keep trying it till you both find your harmony. Take breaks if you have to. It is perfectly normal to lose your breath. Drink a sip of wine or water and resume. You can also alternate between hands and lips

20 Ways To Healthy Insanity
Because everyone enjoys a little chuckle now and then J -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4.. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don t use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face. 11. Speci

81 Ways To Say I Love You
English - I love you Afrikaans - Ek het jou lief Albanian - Te dua Arabic - Ana behibak (to male) Arabic - Ana behibek (to female) Armenian - Yes kez sirumen Bambara - M\'bi fe Belarusian - Ya tabe kahayu Bisaya - Nahigugma ako kanimo Bulgarian - Obicham te Cambodian - Soro lahn nhee ah Cantonese Chinese - Ngo oiy ney a Catalan - T\'estimo Cheyenne - Ne mohotatse Chichewa - Ndimakukonda Corsican - Ti tengu caru (to male) Cree (Plains) - Kisakihitan Creol - Mi aime jou Croatian - Volim te Czech - Miluji te Danish - Jeg Elsker Dig Dutch - Ik hou van jou Esperanto - Mi amas vin Estonian - Ma armastan sind Ethiopian - Afgreki\' Faroese - Eg elski teg Farsi - Doset daram Filipino - Mahal kita Finnish - Minä rakastan sinua French - Je t\'aime, Je t\'adore Gaelic - Ta gra agam ort Georgian - Mikvarhar German - Ich liebe dich Greek - S\'agapo Gujarati - Hoo thuna

20 Ways To Spice Up Your Sex Life
20 Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life One thing is happily clear: Women are not about to take the waning of sex lying down! They're inventing all kinds of ways to keep the good times (and good feelings) rolling. Just take a look at the 20 great ideas below. It must be that we've gotten tired of being "tired." We want -- oh yes -- a little fun. Enjoy. 1. Pretend you just met him "When our sex life started to slow down, I started thinking about how another woman would see my husband if she just met him -- and this made me want to impress him. I did things like buying new lingerie, getting up just a little earlier than usual to join him in the shower or making time to play later in the tub. We totally rediscovered each other's sexiness after that." 2. Tease each other "Sometimes, when my husband and I wake up and hear the kids, we start kissing and caressing anyway. Of course we don't continue, but we get all worked up and then go all day stealing little looks and kisses. Sur

70 Ways To Tell You've Been Online Too Long
70 Ways To Tell You've Been Online Too Long (repost) date: 2007-02-09 14:05:19 70 Ways To Tell You've Been Online Too Long 1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help. 2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL". 3. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on. 4. You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other. 5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out". 6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. 7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to- face. 8. You have to get a 2d phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut. 9. You go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're going to be away. 10. You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it. 11. You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete sentences. 12. You have met over 100 AOLers. 13. You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of lau

4 Ways To Say *i Love You*
Love letters are romantic and saying “I love you” when hanging up the phone with your loved one is always reassuring. But saying “I love you” doesn’t have to be “said” with words. While these three little words are powerful conveyors of emotion, showing your love through other words and actions can be just as powerful, and possibly even more effective, at keeping a relationship alive and healthy. We’re about to offer you simple advice on ways to say “I love you” that doesn’t involve words, at least not those three words. These simple, daily actions will show your lover just how much you care for him or her. Plus: Are you a good kisser? 1. Show Your Approval, Gratitude and Admiration As human beings, we are programmed to seek reassurance from those we love and even sometimes from those we don’t love. Showing your approval and admiration of your loved one takes no time and is extremely motivating for your partner. We all want to be shown approval for things like the way we provi

70 Ways To Tell You've Been Online Too Long
1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help. 2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL". 3. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on. 4. You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other. 5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out". 6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. 7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to- face. 8. You have to get a 2d phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut. 9. You go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're going to be away. 10. You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it. 11. You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete sentences. 12. You have met over 100 AOLers. 13. You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing. 14. When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!" 15. You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in

70 Ways To Tell You've Been Online Too Long
70 Ways To Tell You've Been Online Too Long 1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help. 2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL". 3. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on. 4. You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other. 5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out". 6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. 7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to-face. 8. You have to get a 2d phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut. 9. You go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're going to be away. 10. You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it. 11. You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete sentences. 12. You have met over 100 AOLers. 13. You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing. 14. When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!" 15. You fin

70 Ways To Tell You've Been Online Too Long
70 Ways To Tell You've Been Online Too Long 1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help. 2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL". 3. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on. 4. You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other. 5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out". 6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. 7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to- face. 8. You have to get a 2d phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut. 9. You go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're going to be away. 10. You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it. 11. You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete sentences. 12. You have met over 100 AOLers. 13. You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing. 14. When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!" 15. Yo

20 Ways To Help Save Your Sanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds

13 Ways To Win A Rollergirls Heart Vs A Girly Girls Heart
No. 1 Girly-Girl: Give her unexpected gentle hugs from behind and kiss her neck. RollerGirl: When she's unsuspecting, sneak up behind her blind spot, swing to her side & hip check her into the row of barstools knocking her on her ass. And watch out for her deadly right hook. No. 2 GG: Grab her hand when you guys walk next to each other. RG: Hit her as hard as you can on the shoulder, then say, "Ok, now hit me!" Bruises are beautiful...a sign of affection. No. 3 GG: When standing, wrap your arms around her. RG: Get low, and quick, bend those knees...say, "come on, show me whatcha got" & try to wrestle each other down. Don't let her win. If she wins, she'll quickly lose interest - a rollergirl needs challenges. No. 4 GG: Cuddle with her. RG: Slap her ass & she'll slap yours. No. 5 GG: Don't force her to do anything. RG: BUHWAHAHAHAHA! Yeah right like you have a shot at this anyway. No. 6 GG: Write little love notes. RG: Buy her a pack of Swiss bearings and a bo

101 Ways To Annoy People
haha, I have done a few of these, it can be quite funny and entertaining. =) 1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. < 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for

101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. < 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windsh

101 Ways To Annoy/piss People Off
Isaw this in a bulliton.. but i laughed so hard i thought i would share it in my blog.. this is so funny i swear i think i peed a bit! ;) 1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. < 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12.

18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan!
I stumbled across this and thought I would post it, for every one to get a blast out of it. 18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan! This is sooo funny and yet sooooo true! LOL I don't know who the original author is though. 1 Be considerate: Rearrange their altar so it looks neat... 2 Blow out their altar candle if it is daylight. (no need to waste a good candle). 3 Sweep up the salt they carelessly left at the doorway. 4 Sharpen their Athame. 5 Untie the knot in their cords. 6 Try on their jewelry for fashion sense. 7 Pick up their crystals for a closer look. 8 See how far their crystal ball will roll (dogs love this). 9 Use their runes as extra Dominoes. 10 Play "Old Maid" with their Tarot cards. 11 Toss holy water on them "just to see what happens" 12 Ask them if they are a good witch or a bad witch. 13 Debate with them about "True Religion". 14 Ask them if they are Satan worshipers. 15 Tell them how the bible says they are going to hell, then ask i

70 Ways To Tell You Been Online To Long
70 Ways To Tell You've Been Online Too Long 1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help. 2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL". 3. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on. 4. You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other. 5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out". 6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. 7. You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to- face. 8. You have to get a 2d phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut. 9. You go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone know you're going to be away. 10. You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it. 11. You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete sentences. 12. You have met over 100 AOLers. 13. You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing. 14. When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!" 15. Yo

101 Ways To Bug Some Omg
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. < 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wi

18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan!
This is sooo funny and yet sooooo true! LOL I don't know who the original author is, but I found it on a friends blog. 18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan! 1 Be considerate: Rearrange their altar so it looks neat. 2 Blow out their altar candle if it is daylight. (no need to waste a good candle). 3 Sweep up the salt they carelessly left at the doorway. 4 Sharpen their Athame. 5 Untie the knot in their cords. 6 Try on their jewelry for fashion sense. 7 Pick up their crystals for a closer look. 8 See how far their crystal ball will roll (dogs love this). 9 Use their runes as extra Dominoes. 10 Play "Old Maid" with their Tarot cards. 11 Toss holy water on them "just to see what happens" 12 Ask them if they are a good witch or a bad witch. 13 Debate with them about "True Religion". 14 Ask them if they are Satan worshippers. 15 Tell them how the bible says they are going to hell, then ask if they can make you a love potion. 16 Point to their

18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan
This is sooo funny and yet sooooo true! LOL I don't know who the original author is, but I found it on a friends blog. 18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan! 1 Be considerate: Rearrange their altar so it looks neat. 2 Blow out their altar candle if it is daylight. (no need to waste a good candle). 3 Sweep up the salt they carelessly left at the doorway. 4 Sharpen their Athame. 5 Untie the knot in their cords. 6 Try on their jewelry for fashion sense. 7 Pick up their crystals for a closer look. 8 See how far their crystal ball will roll (dogs love this). 9 Use their runes as extra Dominoes. 10 Play "Old Maid" with their Tarot cards. 11 Toss holy water on them "just to see what happens" 12 Ask them if they are a good witch or a bad witch. 13 Debate with them about "True Religion". 14 Ask them if they are Satan worshippers. 15 Tell them how the bible says they are going to hell, then ask if they can make you a love potion. 16 Point to their p

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries With that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical

Ways To Tell If You're Stuck In The 80's
1. Your fondest childhood memory is when Skippy got his head stuck in the banister. 2. You relax by putting on your legwarmers and dancing to the "Flashdance" soundtrack. 3. You think the two Coreys are "totally awesome." 4. You're still bitter that Wham! broke up. 5. Punky Brewster is your hero. 6. You type all of your term papers on a Commodore 64. 7. You still resent your parents for not installing a dumbwaiter in you house like Webster's. 8. The only video games you play are Frogger and Pac Man. 9. You're building your own Clockwork Smurf. 10. Your summer attire is Jellies and Jams. 11. A-ha's "Take on Me" is still your favorite video. 12. You consider yourself truly, truly, truly outrageous, much like Jem and the Holograms. 13. You wonder why more people don't wear high heels, Jordache jeans and lacy white ankle socks. 14. You call all motorcycle cops "Ponch." 15. Every time you go to the beach you look for Snorks. 16. You're still upse

10 Ways To Be A Good Fubarian
Ten Ways to be a Good FUBARIAN! 1. Show love(Comment your Friends, Random acts of Kindness) Do this as much as U can. Try and show your friends u care even if ur BUSY! Make them a graphic or leave a comment or send a gift. 2. If you visit their blogs... Comment them. You took the time to go see what it was, so leave a comment ...its nice to do so.Rate them as well. 3. Help fellow FUBARIANS out. IF someone needs help, do what you can! 4.At least once a week pick 5 new cherries that just joined and befriend them!! 5. Stay out of the DRAMA. You can be a good friend with out getting involved!! 6. Do not put NSFW pics up as your display!!!Save them for your ADULT folder! Many people on FUBAR are bitter & have absolutely NOTHING better to do than report them, so dont waste time in risking an NSFW pic as a default! 7. The most important thing! When you become friends with someone...DO NOT ASK THEM TO SEE THEIR PRIVATE PICS!!! Its disrespectful. 8. Become a fan!!! Its

5 Ways To Lose A Girl Fast
5 Ways To Lose A Girl FAST >If you'd like to see all of the different programs I've created to help men learn how to overcome fear, approach women, get numbers, and take things to a "physical level" smoothly and without rejection, just go here: http://www.DoubleYourDatingProgram.com/e/17842/Catalog/ HOW TO LOSE A GIRL - A DANGEROUS IDEA... Now THIS sounds like an interesting topic, doesn't it? Why would you want to know how to LOSE a girl? Well, I'm going to propose a DANGEROUS IDEA. I'm going to suggest that you are probably already an EXPERT in LOSING a girl. You might even be a "natural" at it. Most guys are. But the PROBLEM is that most guys don't UNDERSTAND why they're so good at LOSING women. In other words, they walk through the world screwing up one situation after another, and never realize JUST HOW GOOD they are at being BAD with women. And they don't realize that just by changing a few key things t

19 Ways To Win A Girls Heart
19 THINGS to win a girls heart.... 1. Hugs from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other(don't make her grab yours). 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her Honestly. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Be super sweet to her. 10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams. 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12.Wipe away her tears 13. Love her with all your heart. 14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it). 15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her). 16. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her! & DONT ever act diff in front of ur friends than u r when its just u and her!!!! 17. Take her for a long walk at night! 18. Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside when its cold to comfort her and hold her close 19. NEVER LIE TO HER!!!!!! becau

20 Ways U Know You're Oklahoman
> Subject: 20 Ways To Determine if you are a real > Oklahoman > > 1. You can properly pronounce Supulpa, Miami, > Muskogee, Guymon, > Tahlequah, Okmulgee, and Okfuskee . > > 2. You think people who complain about the heat in > their states are > sissies. > > 3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out > in the yard and look > for a funnel. > > 4. You know that the true value of a parking space > is not determined by > the distance to the door, but by the availability of > shade. > > 5. Stores don't have bags or shopping carts, they > have sacks and > buggies. > > 6. You've seen people wear bib overalls at funerals. > > > 7. You think everyone from a bigger city has an > accent. > > 8. You measure distance in minutes. (It's about 5 > minutes down the road) > > > 9. You go to the lake because you think it is like > going to the ocean. > > 10. You listen to the weather forecast before > picking out an outfit. > > 11. Yo

The Ways Of A Stalker!! Lol
1. the come to your page everyday repeadtly.... 2.they constantly worry about what is being said 3.they wanna be u or someone else always 4.there life is dull and boring and usaly have bad hair HAHA!! 5.OH WAIT....they have NO fucking LIFE!!! hmmmmm i think that pretty much covers it....thank god my favirote stalker is sexy !!! LOL....

The Ways Of Life
So i am back once again for the part 2 yall have been waitin for...so shit sit back kick it with a nigga as he shows you life through different faces... HERE GOES NOTHING..... LIFE PART 2...... Helping one another... Yea, thats right ppl its time for you to look into helping your true friends cuz you never know when you will need there help....no matter what help will be for....ok yes many now me as a kind hearte person and they also know me as a cold hearted S.O.B....well let me inlighting yall ppl on some true facts that will make you feel good bout helping someone out that really needs your help...Ok, lets start with a perosn being down...now the person being down wants to comforted in some way cause they are so mixed up and lost they dont know what to do...well most of the time you've probly been down the same road as them in the way they are when they come seeking your advise...So the thing for you to do is to break it down for them in a way they can understand so they k

40 Ways Men Fail In Bed
http://www.bikernet.com/garage/sextech.asp 40 Ways Men Fail In BED For men as your guidance and for women to guide your man..... Specially dedicated to all men.... Men - this is a free instruction guide for all of you who never get invite back after the first time and think it's because of your body odour; of course for some of you that could be true as well.....40 ways Men Fail in BED 1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour & trying to get your money's worth by cutting out non-essentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay. 2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your birthday cake! 3) NOT SHAVING. Guys often forget they have a porcupine strapped to their chins, which they rake repeatedly across their partner's face and thighs. So when she turns he

40 Ways Women Fail In Bed
MILKING IT: When stroking a guy's dick don't grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the penis as if it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The male organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be worshipped and held tenderly at all times.The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way down. LETHAL WEAPONS: A guy's scrotum is a wondrous aesthetic achievement of nature to be treated gently. Don't squeeze the balls like you are squeezing water from a sponge. If you have long nails pull them off with pliers before even looking at a guy's ball bag. ROBOTS: When sucking a guy's dick don't just get on the end of the thing and jam your head back and forward. It's a beautiful instrument; it should be caressed, inspected, kissed and licked from every angle. SILENT FRIGHT: If you've come and cannot be arsed to scream to show your appreciation, at least make some s

The Way Someone Loves You
When your heart is all alone every second Seems so long When it's just you, you can't see through Those ol' clouds that rain so blue But when somebody loves you There's nothing you can't do When somebody loves you It's easy to get through When somebody loves you The way someone loves you When it's late, the sun hangs low By yourself, nowhere to go Sing a song, you dance alone Play solitaire and stare at the phone But when somebody loves you There's nothing you can't do When somebody loves you It's easy to get through When somebody loves you The way someone loves you So let's put aside our foolish pride And let our hearts say hello We both agree we're just no good At bein' on our own 'Cause when somebody loves you There's nothing you can't do When somebody loves you It's easy to get through When somebody loves you The way someone loves you

19 Ways To Win A Girls Heart
1. Hugs from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other(don't make her grab yours). 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her Honestly. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Be super sweet to her. 10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams. 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12.Wipe away her tears 13. Love her with all your heart. 14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it). 15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her). 16. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her! & DONT ever act diff in front of ur friends than u r when its just u and her!!!! 17. Take her for a long walk at night! 18. Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside when its cold to comfort her and hold her close 19. NEVER LIE TO HER!!!!!! because then she will thin

50 Ways Girls Mess Up Sex (as Written By A Woman)
1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out. 2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is hot. It depends on the situation. 3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up. 4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault. 5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when it's time

10 Ways To Put Passion Back In The Bedroom
Are you ready to take your passion to a new level? These tips are sure to take just about any relationship from ho-hum to WOW! Some ideas may seem like basic romance… but let's be honest… when was the last time you ACTUALLY did them? That's right… the only way for this to work is to put the ideas into practice. Try all 10 and see what happens! Take a hot shower or bath together. When you are in the bath or shower, keep close physical contact. Wash each other and whisper in their ear the things you specifically love about making love to them. Share a romantic dinner in front of the fireplace. Nothing speaks romance like sharing a meal in front of the glow of a burning fire. It's even better if you're nude or barely covered with lace and silk. Make sure the dinner you share is conducive to a romantic setting. Food that can easily be eaten with the least amount of utensils is usually your best bet! Keep constant close physical contact when you are not at home. Keeping

50 Ways To Show Him You Love Him
there are many blogs about how to show your love to a woman, how much you care for her, etc...in all fairness i have never seen one for a man so men do you want this? 50 ways to show your love 1. Hug him. 2. Write a love note. 3. Call him at work just to say "Hi." 4. Give him a foot massage. 5. Tell him a joke. 6. Caress him with slow gentle strokes. 7. Go for a walk with him. 8. Admit your mistakes. 9. Say: "I love you." 10. Indulge a whim. 11. Listen to him talk about an interest of his. 12. Be trustworthy. 13. Instead of complaining, tell him what you would prefer. 14. Look at him when you're in a discussion. 15. Send him flowers. (They`re not just for us girls.) 16. Compliment something he did. 17. Offer to help. 18. Ask him to show you how to do something. 19. Write him a poem about how special he is to you. 20. Ask him what he'd like sexually. 21. Take an afternoon drive. 22. Go away together for a weekend holiday. 23. Do something he wants to do. 24.

19 Ways To Win A Girls Heart
19 ways to win a girls heart: 1. Hugs from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other(don't make her grab yours). 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her Honestly. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Be super sweet to her. 10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams. 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12.Wipe away her tears 13. Love her with all your heart. 14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it). 15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her). 16. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her! & DONT ever act diff in front of ur friends than u r when its just u and her!!!! 17. Take her for a long walk at night! 18. Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside when its cold to comfort her and hold her close 19. NEVER LIE TO HER!!!!!! because then

19 Ways To A Girls Heart
1. Hugs from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other(don't make her grab yours). 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her Honestly. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Be super sweet to her. 10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams. 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12.Wipe away her tears 13. Love her with all your heart. 14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it). 15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her). 16. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her! & DONT ever act diff in front of ur friends than u r when its just u and her!!!! 17. Take her for a long walk at night! 18. Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside when its cold to comfort her and hold her close 19. NEVER LIE TO HER!!!!!! because then she will thin

19 Ways To Keep A Girl
19 ways to keep a girl 1. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. [She won't trust you if you do & it'll be awkward] 2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other. [She always gets butterflies when you do it; it makes her feel like you want her] 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. [It makes her feel like you really love her.] 4. Cuddle with her. [She'll feel like your there for her] 5. Hug her from behind [It makes her feel special] 6. Write little notes. [She smiles. They're cute; The end] 7. Compliment her Honestly. [No girl likes a liar and no girl likes a person who lies about it when you compliment her] 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. [It makes her feel wanted] 9. Be super sweet to her. = ) [All girls like a super sweet guy] 10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams. [She'll go to bed with a smile] 11. Comfort her when she cries. [She'll feel like you'll ALWAYS be there for her] 12.Wipe away

89 Ways To Piss Off A Cop
1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?" 2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race. 3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf. 4. Touch him. 5. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to...... 6. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you were rushing home because you realized you forgot your helmet. (Particularly good in those Helmet Law states!) 7. Ask him where he bought his cool hat. 8. Refer to him by his first name. 9. Pretend you are gay and ask him out. 10. When he says no, cry. 11. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment. 12. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way. 13. If he asks you to step off the bike, automatically throw yourself onto his hood. 14. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way. 15. When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy m

5 Ways You're Wasting Money, Not Saving It
One of the most frustrating aspects of trying to save money is when you think you are saving, but in reality you're wasting money. This usually happens when you have made bad assumptions when making a purchase or you haven't analyzed the true costs of a purchase. Here are five common ways people waste money when they actually believe they are saving it: 1. Buying gas at the least expensive gas station. While this would seem obvious, the problem occurs when the least expensive gas station is a few miles off your regularly traveled route. If you are driving across town to save a few cents per gallon, the cost of driving to get the better price will negate any savings the cheaper gas price provides. Solution: Choose the least expensive gas station that is no more than a mile from your regularly traveled route. You can keep informed on which gas station is selling gas at the best price at such sites as Gasbuddy or MSN Gas Prices. 2. Going to different stores to get sale item

The Ways Of Men
The Whys of Men 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (Because they are plugged into a genius) 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (They don't have enough time) 3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG? (They don't stop to ask directions) 4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS? (Because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock) (You're laughing, aren't you?!?!) 5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS? (So they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties) 6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN? (You need a rough draft before you make a final copy) 7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN? (Don't know.....it never happened) (C'mon guys, we laugh at your Blonde jokes!) And the personal favorite: 8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH? (Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don t use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme 14. Put Mosquito Netting

16 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan!!
1. Be considerate: Rearrange their altar so it looks neat. 2. Blow out their altar candle if it is daylight. (no need to waste a good candle). 3. Sweep up the salt they carelessly left at the doorway. 4. Sharpen their Athame. 5. Untie the knot in their cords. 6. Try on their jewelry for fashion sense. 7. Pick up their crystals for a closer look. 8. See how far their crystal ball will roll (dogs love this). 9. Use their runes as extra Dominoes. 10. Play "Old Maid" with their Tarot cards. 11. Toss holy water on them "just to see what happens" 12. Ask them if they are a good witch or a bad witch. 13. Debate with them about "True Religion". 14. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers. 15. Tell them how the bible says they are going to hell, then ask if they can make you a love potion. 16. Point to their pentacle necklace, almost touching it, and say "isn't that supposed to be point down?"

Ways To Stay Sane....like I Know
Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Sanity Body: on a serious note, there are two on this list that i do on a regular basis one of them you can guess just by reading this note, any of my blogs or previous notes/comments to you the next one on this list that i reglarly do is the one immediately following the one you can probably guess blessings & keep smiling & sharing the smiles! :-D thanks, Debbie Date: Apr 15, 2007 7:42 PM 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish

40 Ways
Drink all day Fuck all day Crush all day Grind away Starting wars Seething whores Closing doors Power chords Open wide Scratch your eye Bite the sky Fallen lie Noise all day Find a way Kill the daze Forty ways to hold you down Low all day High all day Disarray Pay to play Everyday Static ways Crystal days

7 Ways To Make Your Self Happier In The Next Hour
Generally, I don't believe in the idea of a "quick fix" or instant gratification, but I have to say I was intrigued when I ran across an article about "7 Ways to Make Yourself Happier in the Next Hour." The author spent a year testing out the various theories of current scientific studies on happiness, and came up with seven points. Each of them can help lift your mood and give you a sense of accomplishment. I wanted to share them with you, Aaron, so you can try them out for yourself. The idea is to try to do as many of them as you can in an hour. Boost your energy by getting up and moving around. Taking a brisk ten-minute walk is best, because when you are moving faster, your metabolism speeds up and the activity is good for your focus and mood and helps you retain information. Reach out to friends. Arrange a lunch date or send an email to someone you haven't seen for a while. Socializing boosts moods and having close bonds with others is one of the keys

4 Ways For A Happy Relationship
4 ways for a happy relationship 1. It is important to find a man who works around the house, cooks and cleans and who makes money. 2. It is important to find a man who loves to spend money on you, and show you a good time. 3. It is important to find a man who's good in bed and who loves to have sex with you. 4. It is important that these three men never meet.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds." 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don t use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your W

18 Ways To Make Each Day Of Your Life Happier Everyday...
18 Ways to Make Each Day of Your Life Happier Everyday... Share a kind word with a friend. Give away a smile. Listen to what someone has to say. Listen with your heart to what someone cannot say. Try one new thing. Forgive one person who has hurt you. Forgive yourself for past mistakes. Realize your imperfections. Discover your possibilities. Make a new friend. Accept responsibility for everything you do. Refuse responsibility for anyone else's actions. Dream one dream. Watch the sunset. Cherish what you have. Cherish who you are. Love your Life.

50 Ways Women Screw Sex Up!
From: heather Date: Mar 21, 2007 2:21 PM 50 ways Women Fuck Up Sex !! Funny part is .... Written by a woman 1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out. 2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation. 3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up. 4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault. 5. Expecting him

50 Ways Women Fuck Up Sex !!
50 ways Women Fuck Up Sex !! Funny part is .... Written by a woman 1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out. 2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation. 3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up. 4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault. 5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is

20 Ways To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity > 1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. > See if they slow down. > > 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. > > 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if > They want fries with that. > > 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it > "IN". > > 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once > Everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, > Switch to espresso. > > 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for > Smuggling diamonds". > > 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with > The prophecy". > > 8. Don't use any punctuation > > 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. > > 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - > With a serious face. > > 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". > > 12. Sing along at the opera.

10 Ways To Lose A Man For Good!
So often we talk about RAISING THE BAR and what you should do to avoid the haters, losers, jerks and such. But what should you avoid when you DO find a Good Man? Here are just a few things to keep in mind...from a guy's perspective. BE JEALOUS - A sure fire way to make a man lose interest faster than Jeff Gordon on an Indy track. Nothing turns a man off quite so well as a jealous woman. Granted, if he's doing stupid stuff to make you jealous, then be wary. But if you are carrying baggage from a previous relationship and beating the new guy down with it, he'll eventually dump you if for no other THAN HIS OWN PEACE OF MIND. SMOTHER HIM - the old adage is true here, too much of anything is never good. If you consume every waking moment of a man's life, when does he have time to miss you, to crave you, to desire you? Put a lil space in between dates and such to make the heart grow fonder. No I didnt say have zero contact, but give him time to simmer from the last time you we

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover
Ok Paul Simon Gave us about 5 ways in his song , so add your name to the list (AT THE TOP) and rhyme your way to leave your lover ! 47. HE'S A HO, KARENJO 46. Slap her silly , Billy 45. Push him out a tree, Bree 44. Feed her to a shark, Mark 43. Harvest his kidney, Cindy 42. Make him all porous, Doris 41. Feed him some ricin, Tyson 40. Get kvetchin,’ Gretchen 39. Chop off his organ, Morgan 38. Throw her down a gorge, George 37. Punch her with an awl, Paul 36. Fake your own death, Beth 35. Hire Chaz Palminteri, Mary 34. Don’t let her fool ‘ya, Julia 33. Drop an anvil on his dick, Chick 32. Toss him off the seventh story, Laurie 31. Pulp his scrotus, Otis 30. Bury her alive, Clive 29. Run him over with a trolley, Molly 28. Feed her to the capitalist sharks! Marx! 27. Make her write a will, Bill 26. Chisel off his knees, Louise 25. Switch to the whip, Chip 24. Give her a double-barreled hug, Doug 23. Bake him in a

50 Ways To Raise Hell At Your Campus Computer Lab
50 Ways to Mess With People in a Computer Lab 1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt. 2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you. 3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the damn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour. 4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly. 5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it's set up with. 6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again. 7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk. 8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret

Ways We Can All Do Better!
Ways We All Can Strive to Do Better!! 1) Make realistic goals for you, write them down, pray about them and try to achieve! 2) Go through your cell phone, caller id, calendar, and email address and discard all the people and events that mean you no good or don't benefit your life! 3) Stop making excuses about your life and make change! 4) If you are involved w/ a person, job, or circumstance that is doing more harm than good, do yourself a favor and be "Grown & Sexy" like you claimed all last year! (LOL) 5) Stop being someone's mistress! (Especially if you are aware that you are) 6) If you are between the ages of 22-35 please start listening to more than just Hip-Hop! 7) Take care of your kids and devote a weekend or two when you spend "quality" time and stop being pissed about missing a "mix"! You can party anytime! 8) Get your debt in order! Eventually you'll want a nice home and car in your name! 9) Stop spreading senseless rumors and try to get yo

22 Ways To Make A Girl Smile.....
22 Ways To MAKE A Girl Smile..... 1. Tell her she is beautiful 2. Hold her hand at any moment...even if it's just for a second 3. Kiss her on the forehead 4. Leave her a voice message to wake up to. (This would also work to leave an E-mail or an offline message on Yahoo Messenger) 5. When she is upset, hold her tight & tell her how much she means to you 6. Recognize the small things...they usually mean the most 7. PICK HER OVER ALL YOUR OTHER GIRLFRIENDS!!! 8. Write her notes. (She loves them; And again this would work as an E-mail or an offline message on Yahoo Messenger) 9. Introduce her to your family & friends...AS YOUR GIRLFRIEND 10. Play with her hair 11. Tickle her, and play-wrestle with her 12. Sit & JUST TALK to her 13. Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or JUST TELL HER JOKES 14. Let her fall asleep in YOUR arms 15. If she's mad at you, KISS HER 16. MAKE HER LAUGH 17. BRING HER FLOWERS 18. Treat her the same around

20 Ways To Terrorize A Telemarketer :d
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. 2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died... " 3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. 4. This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with XYZ Company." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "What are you wearing?" 5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you

25 Ways 2 Tell That You're Grown Up
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is totally out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. 6. You watch the weather channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up" 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualifies as "dressed up" 10. You're the one calling the police b/c those $#%@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo! 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don't know what time taco bell closes anymore. 13. You car insurance goes down, and your car payments go up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover MacDonald's. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You take naps. 17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the

51 Ways To Annoy Everybody
1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now a

Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity . 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso . 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito

Ways To Please & Pamper Me!
My big day is approaching soon (July 22nd) but you don't have to wait for any special ocassion to be a good pet and friend to spoil Me. I am providing links to some of My favorite wishlists, check them out as many times as you want and pick My gifts!! Be sure I am going to be very very happy and pleased! VICTORIA'S SECRET (click to send an email request for the wishlist - add in subject line- Requesting Victoria's Wishlist) MY FETISH LIST (click to send email request for the wishlist - add in the subject line - Requesting Fetish List) FREDERICKS OF HOLLYWOOD REGISTRY (link will take you directly to the Registry on a new page. Enter on Lastname: M Firstname: Mistress, then click on My registry link on the page) AMAZON WISH LIST If you want to make Cash Tributes to Me, send me an email with a request and I'll send you the information on how to do it thru paypal. Write to Me @ bdsmistress-m@hotmail.com Now go s

63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop!! Lol!!
1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?" 2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race. 3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf. 4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to...... 5. Ask if you can see his gun. 6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger. 7. Touch him. 8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat. 9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat. 10. Refer to him by his first name. 11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out. 12. When he says no, cry. 13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment. 14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way. 15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood. 16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way. 17. When he puts the handcuffs

20 Ways Not To Get Invited Back To A Circle
1. Take the ritual sword from the alter and make sounds like Darth Vader..."Luke, I am your father!"...and start making light saber noises. 2. Start skat-singing when chanting. 3. Take the ritual athame from the alter and start cleaning your nails with it. 4. When taking a sip of the ritual wine, act like a wine snob and comment on it. 5. When doing the spiral dance, make a conga line. 6. Call down the Goddess with "Get your ass down here, Big Momma!". 7. Call down the God with "Our father,who art in heaven..." 8. When chanting the names of the Goddess, randomly include Pokemon names. 9. When being smudged, complain about second-hand smoke. 10. In a drumming circle, laugh insanely and start drumming the beat to "Wipe Out". 11. When in a skyclad circle, randomly point and laugh. 12. When the ritual wine goblet is passed to you, chug it and ask for more. 13. Invoke Satan. 14. Take out a bible and start evangelizing. 15. Light up a cigar. 16.

20 Ways For Women To Tell That They've Had A Little Much To Drink
1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is. 2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling "WOO-HOO!" is truly the sexiest dance move around. 3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too 4. In my last trip to pee, I realize I now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess I was just four hours ago. 5. I drop my 2:00 a.m. Taco Bell bean burrito on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it 6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much. 7. I get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "Oh my God! I love this song!" 8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me 9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher. 10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely ove

5 Ways
5 Ways to Handle Life's Big Stuff By Cathryn Conroy, CompuServe News Editor It's fine not to sweat the small stuff, but what about the big stuff? How do we handle THAT? Richard Carlson, the author of "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff," told Good Housekeeping magazine about the life lessons he offers in his new book, "What About the Big Stuff?" Life Lesson No. 1: Skinned Knees Heal Themselves We scrape our knee and the wound heals. "If you step back and think about it, it's remarkable," Carlson writes in Good Housekeeping. "In order to handle the big stuff in life, we need to trust that our emotional wounds--like physical ones--can heal on their own." Life Lesson No. 2: Measure Twice, Cut Once Before reacting to stressful events, stop and THINK. Take a few minutes to assess the situation and figure out the best response. Silence the extraneous thoughts. Focus on what's most important now. Life Lesson No. 3: Don't Honk At the Slow Guy We have so much to do. We get impa

Ways To Turn Down Unwanted Men !!!!
HE : Can I buy you a drink? > SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money. > > HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like >yours. > SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face >like yours. > > HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? > SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake >twice. > > HE : How did you get to be so beautiful? > SHE : I must've been given your share. > > HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday? > SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend. > > HE : Your face must turn a few heads. > SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs. > > HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out. > SHE : Okay, get out. > > HE : I think I could make you very happy. > SHE

10 Ways To Tell If A Redneck Has Been Working On A Computer
10. The monitor is up on blocks. 9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them. 8. The six front keys have rotted out. 7. The extra RAM ports have truck parts stored in them. 6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six. 5. The password is "Bubba". 4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU. 3. There's a Coors can in the cup holder(CD-ROM drive). 2. The keyboard is camouflaged. AND the number 1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on a computer is... 1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

10 Ways To Annoy A Pagan
The Top 10 Ways To Annoy A Pagan 10. Sayyyyyyy, is that a Jewish star? 9. No, then you must listen to Motley Crue, right? Not that, either? I know, it's a ... a ... Pentacost, right? 8. You guys really worship the devil, huh? Cool, I, like, listen to Black Sabbath, like, all the time, dude. 7. Oh, you're a Witch! I'm like, totally into, like, Goddess Consciousness. I sleep with a crystal every night, and have an Atlantean spirit guide. Will you teach me all the secrets of your religion? 6. I hear you Pagans do all your stuff in the nude. Wanna show me? 5. You will all burn in Hell. The Goddess is really Satan in drag. You don't believe in Satan? Boy, does he have you fooled! 4. Fascinating. I'm a sociologist; may I study you as a phenomena? 3. Do you really believe in all that nonsense? 2. You worship the Goddess? Poor thing; you obviously haven't heard about Jesus. Here, let me tell you... And (drum roll, please): 1. You're a witch,

101 Ways You Know You're A Proud Bostonian
These are so true and I should know I live here hehe 1. The Red Sox World Series win was, and will always be, one of the Greatest moments in your life. 2. The guy driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you're swearing at him for going too slow. 3. When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke. 4. You went to Canobie Lake Park or Water Country as a kid 5. You actually enjoy driving around rotaries. 6. You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language eva! 7. Your social security number starts with a 0 8. You can actually find your way around Boston. 9. You know what a "regular" coffee is. 10. You keep an ice scraper in your car year-round. 11. You can tell the difference between a Revere accent and a Dorchester accent. 12. Springfield is located "way out west." 13. You almost feel disappointed if someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space. 14. You kno

10 Ways To Ruin A First Date.
1. Don't look like your picture. Post an old picture from when you were thinner or had more hair. Or you could post a photo of someone else: your daughter (folks always say you could be twins, right?), a model you plucked from an online site (hey, didn't you say you always wanted to be a model?), or your "sort of" twin brother (non-identical). 2. Don't make any special effort to present yourself well. Dress for a first meeting the way you would for a Saturday night at home, rationalizing that you want to appear "real" and be liked for the way that you are. Maybe it is a kindness to show, right up front, what your date's Saturday nights would be like if they were to marry you! 3. Be Late Nothing says you couldn't care less than to be late. While arriving early might give you the advantage of being able to see your date before he/she sees you, being late implies you are too important to be polite. 4. Forget your wallet. Male or female, the "I forgot my wallet" s

40 Ways Women Fail In Bed
1. MILKING IT: When stroking a guy's dick don't grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the penis as if it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The male organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be worshipped and held tenderly at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way down. 2. BEING NAKED: Very few female bodies are good to look it so please make an effort to cover up as much as possible with exotic lingerie. Match the outfit to suit your bod. If you've got a half-decent arse but no tits for example, wear stockings and suspenders and cover your meagre mammaries with something silky. 3. POOR PRESENTATION: Presentation is all important. Don't wait to be asked to get it doggy-style. Roll over and present. You know you love it! 4. SILENT FRIGHT: If you've come and cannot be arsed to scream to show your appreciation, at least make some sort of sign to in

2 Ways...
A husband and wife were sitting at a table at his high school reunion, and he kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. The wife asks, "Do you know her?" "Yes," the husband sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." "My Gosh !" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating THAT long?" So you see, there really are 2 ways to look at everything

Ways To Get Blocked....
1. annoy me about seeing my private pics.. (read my profile on how to see them) 2. Rip my personal photos 3. Bieng excessivly vulgar to me (ie... we should fuck...) had that sent three times today 4. Getting pissy when I return a shitty rate to you.

105 Ways To Cure Boredom.
1. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO REHAB? - Yes I have.... 2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? - 6 years 3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? - The Shmee bought me a new bowl...it's pink with cherries. 4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? - I drop my phone all the time. 5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? - Ummmmm......yea 6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? - Gas and smokes 7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? - Tacos 8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? - Eyes and hair (I prefer a shaved head) 9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? - 'Something I Can Never Have' Nine Inch Nails 10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? - Lindenhurst IL 11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED: - Rolling Meadows High School in Rolling Meadows IL 12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: - U.S. Cellular 13. FAVORITE MALL STORE: - Torrid 14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD? - I worked at Walgreen's for over a year. 15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE? - Not unless they came in a board game 16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: - Not since high school

Ways To Find Me!
Before I leave........ I forgot, if you want to contact me or for those who want me to contact them,leave me an e-mail via Cherry Tap and I will contact you or I will give you my contact info...... either way is Ok with me...Well I am out for the day, take care and thanks for those friends who have faith and have the best wishes for me and I return the same thoughts for you as well. Pete

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don t use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat...use a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme. 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical

Ways To Capture A Girls Heart
Ways to capture a Girl's Heart 1. Hold her purse for her, or her shopping bags even if she says its fine. 2. Hug her from behind, even if she says she doesn't like it because she's lying. 3. Don't flirt with anyone else, not because you know she doesn't like it, but it's just wrong. 4. Be yourself, and if she doesn't like you for that then she doesn't deserve you. 5. Compliment her, once in a while and mean it! 6. Don't say I love you out of nowhere, but say it in the middle of a kiss or while hugging her. 7. Grab her hand or actually hold it when she's not expecting. 8. Be random. Girls like it when guys are random, but not too random. 9. Stick with her and her friends. 10. Talk to her as if you're talking to your bff. 11. Don't stick with her all the time because then it becomes annoying. 12. Understand her when she says no and support it. Most importantly understand the NO. 13. Write cute notes and put it in the popcorn bag before watching a movie in the theater. 14.

18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan!
Be considerate: Rearrange their altar so it looks neat... Blow out their altar candle if it is daylight. (no need to waste a good candle). Sweep up the salt they carelessly left at the doorway. Sharpen their Athame. Untie the knot in their cords. Try on their jewelry for fashion sense. Pick up their crystals for a closer look. See how far their crystal ball will roll (dogs love this). Use their runes as extra Dominoes. Play "Old Maid" with their Tarot cards. Toss holy water on them "just to see what happens" Ask them if they are a good witch or a bad witch. Debate with them about "True Religion". Ask them if they are Satan worshippers. Tell them how the bible says they are going to hell, then ask if they can make you a love potion. Point to their pentacle necklace, almost touching it, and say "isn't that supposed to be point down?" Refer to a business meeting as "a come to Jesus" meeting. Leave Chick Publication tract

The 29 Ways For A Submissive To Get Into Trouble
1. Pushing limits does not mean making Mistress so angry that the vein above Their right eye throbs as her brow sweats. 2. "Quit it!" ;"OW, Damnit!" ;"I'm hiding that toy when You go to work tomorrow" and cursing a blue streak are not safe words. 3. "Oh my God, where did you get those. They are gorgeous!!!" Is not considered boot worship. 4. "Ya want fries with that?"; "Want me to drink it for You too?" are not appropriate remarks when Mistress gives you an elaborate drink order. 5. Flipping your Mistress off while your hands are cuffed behind your back is a bad idea. Owners have a way of knowing these things when you are a fan of Jackie Chan movies. 6. Putting lube, goop, superglue, ink or any other substance that will sully the ____ of Mistress on their toys while setting up for a session is not a good idea. 7. Kicking the toy you hate far under the bed is futile. Mistress will only secure your wristcuffs to your anklecuffes and make you crawl for it....repeat

10 Ways To Charm A Woman :)
I saw this on yahoo.com just now and thought it'd be a good thing to post :) How can you charm a woman? Do they like a daily check-in phone call? Does she secretly wish you'd text her in the middle of the day for no reason but to make her smile? Do they prefer expensive dinners to home-cooked meals? Rock-hard abs? Flowers for no reason? Identifying women's turn-ons is complicated, because they all react differently. Some women you wish came with owner's manuals so you knew exactly how they were wired. Luckily, I've done most of the legwork for you and am happy to pass this knowledge on to you. Top 10 ways to charm a woman 1. Be aware. This means cracking open more than the sports section on the daily paper. Be up on current events and learn the difference between feelings, emotions and thoughts. Women are emotional beings and tend to think things through. “They are attracted to men who are as smart or smarter” They are attracted to men who are as smart or smart

101 Ways To Tell If You’re A Filipino
I've always been sure about who and what I am. First, a female. Next, a Filipino. It's often said that our culture defines what we are. How we see ourselves is more likely how other people will see us. We're a sunny kind of people. We laugh at hard times and we smile in spite of everything. The typical Filipino is more likely to take an optimistic view of things, even if things are really bad. One of our better traits is our ability to laugh at ourselves. We'd laugh even if it's ourselves we're laughing at. Though we're a very mixed race, everything we do is distinctly Filipino. Our identity almost always shows wherever we are. Here are some of the things which can determine a true Filipino: 1. You point with your lips. 2. You eat using hands and you have it down to a technique. 3. Your other piece of luggage is a “balikbayan” box. 4. You nod upwards to greet someone. 5. You put your foot up on your chair and rest your elbow on your knee while eating. 6. You think that ha

20 Ways To Annoy Your Public Bathroom Stallmate
1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, 'May I borrow a highlighter?' 2. Say, 'Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that.' 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, 'Damn, this water's cold.' 5. Drop a marble and say, 'Oh shit! My glass eye!' 6. Say, 'Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.' 7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly. 8. Say, 'Now how did that get there?' 9. Say, 'Humus. Reminds me of humus.' 10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, 'Whoa! Easy boy!' 11. Say, 'Interesting.. more floaters than sinkers.' 12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, 'Whoops, could you kick that

32 Ways To Live
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 2. When in doubt, just take the next small step. 3. Life is too short to waste time hating someone. 4. Don't take yourself so seriouisly. No one else does. 5. You don't have to win every arguement. Agree to disagree. 6. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it. 7. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile. 8. Makes peace with your past so it won't screw up the present. 9. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 10. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living or get busy dying. 11. You can get through anything if you stay put in today. 12. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else. 13. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take "NO" for an answer. 14. Over prepare, then go with the flow. 15. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple. 16. No one is in charge of your happiness ex

101 Ways To Be Annoying
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TVand then pointing it at the screen. 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub." 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inchpaper, 99 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield

Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8 . Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is"To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go T o A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Aro

22 Way's To Be Happt
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it. FIVE. When you say, "I 'm sorry, " loo k the person in the eye. SIX.. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight. EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much. NINE. Love deeply and passionat ely. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives. TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly. THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?" FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievem

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity*** 1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in." 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors." 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9 As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 14.

27 Ways To Make A Girl Smile . . .
27 ways to make a girl smile . . . . . *1 . Tell her she is beautiful, not hott, fine or ***y. *2 . Hold her hand at any moment even if it just for a second. *3 . Kiss her on the forehead. *4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. *5 . Always tell her you love her at any and all times. *6 . When she is upset hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. *7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. *8 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is. *9 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. *10 . Write her notes. {she loves them} *11 . Introduce her to family and friends as your girlfriend. *12 . Play with her hair. *13 . Pick her up, tickle her and play-wrestle with her. *14 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. *15 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes. *16 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because you missed her. *17 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.

Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Wee! ks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All D

63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop
63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop 63 Ways To Piss Off A Cop 1. When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?" 2. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race. 3. When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf. 4. If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to...... 5. Ask if you can see his gun. 6. When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger. 7. Touch him. 8. When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat. 9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat. 10. Refer to him by his first name. 11. Pretend you are gay and ask him out. 12. When he says no, cry. 13. If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment. 14. If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way. 15. If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood. 16. When he asks you to spread them, tell him

Ways Of Dealing With The Burdens Of Life
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. Always keep your own words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. Drive carefully. Its not only cars that can be recalled by their maker. If you can't be kind at least have the decency to be vague. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again it was probably worth it. It may be your sole purpose in life to simply be kind to others. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on. Since its the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late. When everythings coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some ahve wierd names, and all are different colors but they all have to live in the same box. A truly happy personis one who can enjoy t

50 Ways Woman F* Up Sex!!
50 ways Women Fuck Up Sex !! Funny part is .... Written by a woman 1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out. 2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation. 3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all wound up. 4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it's not his fault. 5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomf

40 Ways Men Fail In Bed
40 Ways Men Fail in Bed Take notes, all you Casanovas... 1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A properly passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay. 2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts. 3) NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance. 4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hands on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them. 5) BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, t

47 Ways To Use Essential Oils
Forty-Seven Ways to Use Essential Oils 1. For good smelling towels, sheets, clothes, etc. place a few drops of your favorite essential oil onto a small piece of terry cloth and toss into the clothes dryer while drying. Add 5 drops essential oil to 1/4 cup fabric softener or water and place in the center cup of the washer. You could also place a few drops of oil onto a piece of cotton and place inside your linen cabinet. 2. Potpourri which has lost its scent can be revived by adding a few drops of essential oil. 3. Add a few drops of oil to water in a spray bottle and use as an air freshener. 4. Add a few drops essential oil to a pan of water and simmer on stove or in a potpourri pot. 5. To enjoy a scented candle, place a drop or two into the hot melted wax as the candle burns. (add to wax when wick is not lighted) 6. To dispel household cooking odors, add a few drops of Clove oil to a simmering pan or spray the area with peppermint oil and water. 7. For t

10 Ways To Be A Good Dom
1 The Total Transference of Power of Self Will is a continuing process of giving and receiving. It is not a once only act but an ongoing process of submitting to the authority of the chosen Master. It is the right of the Submissive to offer the gift of her Submission. The Master does not have the right to demand or take that Self Will from the Submissive. 2 The greatest gift that a Submissive has to give is her Submission; therefore the Master must cherish the gift and the Submissive. He must prove himself honorable and worthy of the gift. 3 The Master must be in control himself first and foremost. Without an understanding of control of self, the Master will confuse bullying for dominance. To win The Submissive Partner’s mind, body, spirit, soul, and love, the Master knows he must first win her trust. The Master will show the Submissive Partner humor, kindness, and warmth. He must always show her that his guidance and tutoring is knowledgeable and deserving of her attention, that

Ways To Reduce Stress
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN". 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write " For smuggling diamonds". 7. Finish all your sentences with " In accordance with the prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Order a Diet Water (with a serious face) whenever you go out to eat. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is " To Go". 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work. 14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poe

10 Ways To Handle Stress
10 Ways To Manage Stress Removing Stress From Your Life 1. We seldom concretely identify those situation and people we find stressful. To understand what brings on stress in your life, try to maintain a heightened awareness of your physical and mental feelings for a week. When you feel your heart racing, your muscles tightening, or your stomach contracting, ask yourself why. Keep a list of those things that trigger stressful feelings. 2. Make relaxation part of your daily routine. Deep breathing and simple stretches can be performed both at home and in the office. Taking a few minutes to sooth your soul by savoring a cup of tea or grounding yourself can center you, giving you the ability to deal with stress more effectively. 3. It can be difficult to let go of worries or thoughts that provoke anxiety. One technique involves dissipating stressful thoughts before they get out of control. Concentrate on the thought and firmly say "Stop" to prevent the though

19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks .. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropica

19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
191. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks .. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropi

16 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom-don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they "want fries with that?" 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN". 5. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Sexual Favors." 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy." 8. dont use any punctuation 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go." 11. Sing along at the opera. 12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme. 13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day. 14. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, "I won! I won!" 15. Whe

11 Ways 2 Tell Tht Ur Crazy About Someone
11 signs that your crazy for someone ELEVEN: You laugh at they're stupid jokes TEN: You feel shy whenever they're around. NINE: You smile when you hear their voice. EIGHT: When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you, you just see him/her. SIX: They're all you think about. FIVE: You realize you're always smiling when you're looking at them. FOUR: You would do anything for them, just to see them. THREE: While reading this, there was one person on your mind this whole time. TWO: You were so busy thinking about that person, you didnt notice number seven was missing ONE: You just scrolled up to check & are now silently laughing at yourself. NOW MAKE A WISH. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO...... ====== ===== ==== === == = == === ==== ===== ======= ========= ========== ========= ======== ======= ====== ===== ==== === ==

2 Ways To Look At Everything
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asks, "Do you know her?" Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since. " My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long? So you see, there really are 2 ways to look at everything!! *thanks Kerch*

25 Ways To Tell You're Getting Older
25 Signs You're Getting Older 1. Your potted plants stay alive. 2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. 5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. 6. You carry an umbrella. You watch the Weather Channel. 7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up. 8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7. 9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." 10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo. 11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. 12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. 13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. 14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's. 15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. 16. You no longer take naps

22 Ways To Make A Girl Smile....
1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not fine, or sexy) 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 8 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. 10 . Play with her hair. 11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. 12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16 . Give her piggyback rides. 17 . Bring her flowers 18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone. 19 . Look her in the eyes and smile. 20 . Let h

100 Ways To Be A Good Girl
"100 Ways To Be A Good Girl" Skunk Anansie I CAUSED A MAJOR WAR JUST BY TALKING YOU FLEW INTO A RAGE, `COS THAT`S EVERYTHING YOU KNOW CHILDHOOD OF VIOLENCE, FILLED WITH HEARTACHE I FLEW INTO A RAGE, `COS THAT`S EVERYTHING I KNOW I KNOW 1OO WAYS TO BE A GOOD GIRL 100 WAYS, MY WILLINGNESS TO PLEASE I KNOW 100 WAYS TO BE A GOOD GIRL STILL I`M ALONE, I`M ALONE, I`M ALONE, I`M ALONE [X2] SHIELDED BY UNEXPECTED FURY FRIGHTENED SURVIVOR IN MY WORLD TOO SHY TO SEE SOFTLY I SPOKE SOFTLY I`M DYING CRUSHED BY YOUR POWER, BY MY WILLINGNESS TO BLEED I KNOW 1OO WAYS TO BE A GOOD GIRL 100 WAYS, MY WILLINGNESS TO PLEASE I KNOW 100 WAYS TO BE A GOOD GIRL STILL I`M ALONE, I`M ALONE, I`M ALONE, I`M ALONE [X2] CRUCIFY MY WITH ISOLATION CRUCIFY ME-WHOA-INSIDE MY PRIVATE HELL [ www.azlyrics.com ]

50 Ways To Leave Fubar....
(Unchained Melody's remake of Paul Simon's, "50 Ways to leave your lover") I WROTE THIS FOR THOSE WHO ARE ADDICTED TO FUBAR… "The problem is all inside your head", she said to me..The answer is easy if you take it logically I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free There must be fifty ways to leave FUBAR She said it's really not my habit to intrude Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued, But I'll repeat myself at the risk of being crude. There must be fifty ways to leave FUBAR...Fifty ways to leave FUBAR Slip off the net, Jet Fry your RAM, Sam You don't need to be on, Ron Just get yourself free Delete your profile, Kyle You don't need to type much Just hit the off key, Lee And get yourself free Slip off the net, Jet Fry your RAM, Sam You don't need to be on, Ron Just listen to me Delete your profile, Kyle You don't need to type much Just hit the off key, Lee And get yourself free She said it grieves me so to see you in

Ways Away From Sin
defeating temptation Current mood: awake Category: Life LEARNING THE 4 BIBICAL KEYS Run from anything that gives you the evil thoughts that young men and women often have, but stay close to anything that makes you want to do what's right. (2Tim 2:22) Remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithfull. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you cannot stand up against it. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you will not give into it. (1COR 10:13) God has promised never to allow more on you than he puts (within you) to handle it. He will not permit any temptation that you could not ever overcome. (HOWEVER), you must do your part too by practicing ( 4 bibical keys ) to defeating temptation. 1st BIBICAL KEY: Don't be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (ROM 12:21) JOB said, "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust upon a young

23 Ways To Make A Woman Smile & Feel Special
1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not fine, or sexy) 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 8 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. 10 . Play with her hair. 11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. 12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16 . Give her piggyback rides. 17 . Bring her flowers 18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone. 19 . Look her in the eyes and smile. 20 . Let h

101 Ways To Annoy People
101 ways 2 annoy people 1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. < 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down. 2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice. 3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if They want fries with that. 4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN". 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once Everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, Switch to espresso. 6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for Smuggling diamonds". 7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with The prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - With a serious face. 11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go". 12. Sing along at the opera. 13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and Play tropical sounds all day at work. 14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems d

22 Ways To Be An Outstanding Democrat
1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand. 2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. 3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists. 4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding. 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's. 6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural. 7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding. 8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex. 9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony a

Ways To Make A Girl Happy
1. Tell her she is beautiful (not hot, fine, or sexy) 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . Always tell her you love her every second of the day. 6 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 7 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 8 . Sing to her no matter how horrible your voice is. 9 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 10 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 11 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. 12 . Play with her hair. 13 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. 14 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 15 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 16 . Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night . . . just because you missed her. 17 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 18. Carv

Ways To Piss Off A Woman!!
1. Call her by the dog's name and then deny it. 2. Answer all her questions with a question, preferably one on a totally different subject. 3. Superglue the toilet seat in the up position. 4. Shrink her jeans and when she overreacts because she thinks that she's gaining weight, give her an evil smile and say that you prefer her with some meat on her bones. 5. Firmly refuse to ever ask for directions even if you find yourself in Georgia when your original destination was California. 6. Call her by your mother's name and then deny it. 7. Start a conversation with the dog in the middle of one with her. 8. Buy her power tools for Valentine's Day. 9. Never give her a straight answer. 10. Take up yodeling and practice a lot. 11. Leave the newspaper open to an ad for plastic surgery. 12. Pretend you forgot how to speak English. 13. Answer every question with "Yes, dear." (Use with caution as PMS is a valid murder defense in many states.)

Ways To Perserve Your Garden Sage:
Sage Honey Preserving sage in honey is a delicious and healthful way to enjoy the sage all winter long. Honey itself is highly anti-bacterial and tends to draw moisture to itself. For these properties it is considered an excellent wound remedy — raw honey applied to a wound will keep it moist and free of bacteria and speed its healing — and is also wonderful for healing many ailments of the digestive tract and sore throats. In addition, honey is an excellent source of high quality protein and carbohydrates plus many vitamins. It is an all-around health food that should be consumed regularly in small amounts. When you combine honey with an herb, the honey will draw out the water soluble vitamins of the herb (due to it's water drawing properties), and also the strongly fragrant and anti-infective volatile oils in the plant. The result is a sweet and delicious medicinal. To make sage honey start with fresh sage and a small glass container (I used a pint size canning jar, but yo

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity.....
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Insanity
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'. 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Smuggling Diamonds'. 7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'. 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'. 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

Ways To Make Your Submissive Feel Owned
One of the main factors, in feeling truly Owned is to be constantly reminded throughout the day of Master's control. These reminders can be subtle or really obtrusive. The more often a she is reminded of her submission, the deeper it becomes....and the more fulfilling. So here are some ideas you might want to try... And no matter what rules you decide to make your own, please.... be consistent. If you are unwilling to take the time to enforce the rules you make, then there may as well be no rules at all. There is nothing in the world that will make her feel less loved than to have a Master who ignores her transgressions and does not exert Their Dominance. Have her wear slave bells. The constant soft jingling of the bells is soothing and a certain reminder of her submission. When she has broken a rule, talk to her as you punish....and make her speak in detail about why what she did was wrong. Make her take her shoes off every day as soon as she enters your house. A beaut

20 Ways To Make A Gurl Fall Head Over Heels¢¾
What girls really want from you. 1. Don't flirt with other girls. | It makes us feel like we're not good enough for you. We feel like we did something wrong so you are making up for it with another girl. 2. Even if you're not going out, heck, even if you're not friends, don't say bad stuff about us. | We could be the meanest people in the world to you, but most of the time we're joking and we think you're serious. You haven't seen mean until you say something bad about us. We have evil sides and we're not afraid to use them. 3. We're not toys. | Don't just have your fun with us and drop us. We're serious about things. That's just mean and we'll spend days wondering what we ever did wrong. 4. Put your arms around our waist firmly but gently, holding us close to you. | If you can, smell our hair! For most girls, we try to succeed in making it smell and look good! Plus, we know you love the smell, why try to sneak around? 5. If you've done something wrong, fess up. | Tell u

10 Ways To Be A Black Metal Elitist
1.Release song lyrics written in kvlt. 2.Wear corpsepaint for a photoshoot 3.Desecrate a virgin 4.Carry a sword in a photoshoot 5.Paint fingernails black 6.Growl at random people on the street 7.Murder someone for no obvious reason 8.Use the word KRIEG several times in a song written in english 9.Wear a cloak in everyday life 10.Claim to be a fascist when you're actually not

20 Ways To Confuse Trick Or Treaters
1. Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand) 2. Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out, wearing a costume, and holding a bag, and yell, “Trick or Treat!” Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused. 3. Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, “Top Secret” in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, “It’s about time you got here,” give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door. 4. Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, “Come in.” When they do, have everyone yell, “Surprise!!!” Act like it’s a surprise party. 5. Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what’s wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural “whirring” sound. 6. After you give them candy, hand the trick-or-treaters a bill. 7. Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Im

22 Ways To Make Her Smile.....
1. Tell her she is beautiful or gorgeous(not fine, or sexy or CUTE) 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead/ neck. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 8 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. 10 . Play with her hair. 11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her. 12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16 . Give her piggyback rides. 17 . Bring her flowers 18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone. 19 . Look her in the eyes

Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don't use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera. 13. Go T o A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Wor

22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat
22 Ways To Be A Good Democrat 1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand. 2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. 3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists. 4. You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding. 5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's. 6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural. 7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding. 8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex. 9. You have to believe that h

38 Ways To Tell A Person There Stupid
38 Kinder, Gentler Ways to Say Someone is Stupid 1. A few clowns short of a circus 2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal 3. An experiement in artifical stupidity 4. A few beers short of a six-pack 5. Dumber than a box of hair 6. A few peas short of a casserole 7. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box 8. The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead 9. One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl 10. One taco short of a combo plate 11. A few feathers short of a whole duck 12. All foam, no beer 13. The cheese slid off the cracker 14. Body by Fisher - Brains by Mattel 15. Has an IQ of 2 and it takes 3 to grunt 16. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear 17. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel 18. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down 19. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools 20. As smart as bait 21. Chimney's clogged 22. Doesn't have all his dogs on one

Ways To Earn Eaxtra Money
If you are a stay at home mom like me you probably would love to make a little extra money. You will not get rich by doing these!! You will only earn a little extra cash. There is nothing wrong with that, right? Especially around the holidays. So here are the sites that I recommend for earning extra money, I have received checks from each one of these sites. Some pay on paypal though. Enjoy! [URL="http://www.awsurveys.com/HomeMain.cfm?RefID=asoldierswife347"]A.W Survey[/URL] - $6.00 sign up Welcome Survey After Free Registration! I made $75 bucks for taking 4 surveys already [URL="http://www.cashcrate.com/277587"]Cashcrate [/URL]- Get paid to complete offers. There mostly free. You just complete surveys. [URL="http://r.yuwie.com/amilitarywife347"]Yuwie[/URL] - Get paid to make friends, post blogs, comment to people and so much more. It's like myspace expect you get paid for it. GET PAID TO VIEW ADS FOR 30 SECONDS: [URL="http://www.mailingmania.com/pages/index.php?refid=

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguis e Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In". 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds". 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy". 8. Don't use any punctuation. 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go". 12. Sing Along At The Opera .. 13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme? 14. Put Mos

77 Ways To Create Attraction In Women
Have you heard of that popular women's book called, "The Rules"? Just in case you haven't, it's a book written in the 90's by 2 women that contains 10 controversial "rules" women should follow if they want to capture the heart of the man they want. While I don't agree with all of the rules the authors suggest women follow, it makes for an interesting read, that's for sure. Let me get to the point: Since the release of that book, many have tried to ride the wave of fame by creating similar books of rules for MEN to follow. Several of these books were released around the time I was first trying to learn how to be successful with women and dating... and as you can guess, I read them ALL. As you can also guess... most of the "rules" just plain SUCKED. These books contained rules like... - "Never bring a woman roses until the 3rd date" - "Open all doors for a woman, and order for her when you're on a date" - "Be sure to talk about you

20 Ways To Make A Man's Christmas
20 ways to make a man's Christmas at its best! 1. Trim his tree. 2. Lick his luscious candy cane. 3. Be his "ho-ho-ho" for the holidays. 4. Polish his christmas balls. 5. Ride him like a reindeer. 6. Taste his sweet egg-nog. 7. Deck the halls with moans of pleasure. 8. Fa, la, la, latio- la, la, la, la. 9. Spark his menorah with a hot strip tease. 10. Request a stiff stocking stuff-her! 11. Make his Kris Kringle tingle. 12. Gift wrap yourself in sexy lingere. 13. Unwrap his package. 14. Hang mistletoe from any place you want kissed. 15. Rock his jingle bells in the frosty air. 16. Make your Rudolph's hose as red as his nose. 17. Heat him up with a snow job. 18. Give the Christmas carolers a show of your own. 19. Dress up as Santa's nasty little helper. 20. Make sure you're naughty, so it's nice.

20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit! Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa." Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him

20 Ways To Make A Man's Christmas At Its Best!!!!!
20 ways to make a man's Christmas at its best! 1. Trim his tree. 2. Lick his luscious candy cane. 3. Be his "ho-ho-ho" for the holidays. 4. Polish his christmas balls. 5. Ride him like a reindeer. 6. Taste his sweet egg-nog. 7. Deck the halls with moans of pleasure. 8. Fa, la, la, latio- la, la, la, la. 9. Spark his menorah with a hot strip tease. 10. Request a stiff stocking stuff-her! 11. Make his Kris Kringle tingle. 12. Gift wrap yourself in sexy lingere. 13. Unwrap his package. 14. Hang mistletoe from any place you want kissed. 15. Rock his jingle bells in the frosty air. 16. Make your Rudolph's hose as red as his nose. 17. Heat him up with a snow job. 18. Give the Christmas carolers a show of your own. 19. Dress up as Santa's nasty little helper. 20. Make sure you're naughty, so it's nice

20 Ways To Confuse And Upset Santa Claus
20 Ways to Confuse and Upset Santa Claus 1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3. Leave him a note explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants. 4. While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly. 5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit! 6. Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas" and "Go away Santa." 7. Leave a note by the telephone telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home. 8. Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down

18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan!
This is sooo funny and yet sooooo true! LOL I don't know who the original author is, but I found it on a friends blog. 18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan! 1. Be considerate: Rearrange their altar so it looks neat. 2. Blow out their altar candle if it is daylight. (no need to waste a good candle). 3. Sweep up the salt they carelessly left at the doorway. 4. Sharpen their Athame. 5. Untie the knot in their cords. 6. Try on their jewelry for fashion sense. 7. Pick up their crystals for a closer look. 8. See how far their crystal ball will roll (dogs love this). 9. Use their runes as extra Dominoes. 10. Play "Old Maid" with their Tarot cards. 11. Toss holy water on them "just to see what happens" 12. Ask them if they are a good witch or a bad witch. 13. Debate with them about "True Religion". 14. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers. 15. Tell them how the bible says they are going to hell, then ask if they can make you a love potion. 16. Point to their pentacle necklace, a

5 Ways To Get Frisky On A Cold Night
Forget hot chocolate. These racy sex taboos will not only heat up a cold night; they'll have you wishing for a blizzard! That way your office will call a snow day and you can do it all over again tomorrow. (Anyone who says chocolate is better than sex has things all wrong.) 1. Play Dress Up Nurse outfits, baby-doll lingerie, catwoman suits… the idea of playing dress up, or fantasy role-playing, turns some women on — and makes others roar with laughter. Yes, you do pay through the nose for these outfits at sex shops, and they're not terribly well made either. But if you have the money and you're game for experimenting, why not? If you're less than convinced, shift your thinking from traditional (read: expensive) role-play outfits to simply putting together a sexy, home-spun ensemble. High heels? Check! Stockings? Check! Long, black, satin gloves and a push-up bra? Check! And that's really all you'll need to be totally sexed up without even feeling (terribly) silly. If you'r

20 Ways To Make His X-mas An Xxx-mas!
1. Trim his tree. 2. Lick his luscious candy cane. 3. Be his "ho-ho-ho" for the holidays. 4. Polish his Christmas balls. 5. Ride him like a reindeer. 6. Taste his sweet egg-nog. 7. Deck the halls with moans of pleasure. 8. Fa, la, la, latio - la, la, la, la. 9. Spark his minorah with a hot strip tease. 10. Request a stiff stocking stuff-her! 11. Make his Kris Kringle tingle. 12. Gift wrap yourself in sexy lingerie. 13. Unwrap his package. 14. Hang mistletoe from any place you want kissed. 15. Rock his jingle bells in the frosty air. 16. Make your Rudolph's hose as red as his nose. 17. Heat him up with a snow job. 18. Give the Christmas carolers a show of your own. 19. Dress up as Santa's nasty little helper. 20. Make sure you're naughty, so it's nice.

15 Ways To Help Children Like Themselves
1. Reward children. Give praise, recognition, a special privilege, or increased responsibility for a job well done. Emphasize the good things they do, not the bad. 2. Take their ideas, emotions, and feelings seriously. Don't belittle them by saying, "You'll grow out of it" or "It's not as bad as you think". 3. Define limits and rules clearly, and enforce them. But do allow leeway for your children within limits. 4. Be a good role model. Let your children know that you feel good about yourself. Also let them see that you too can make mistakes and can learn from them. 5. Teach your children how to deal with time and money. Help them spend time wisely and budget their money carefully. 6. Have reasonable expectations for your children. Help them set reasonable goals so they can achieve sucess. 7. Help your children develop tolerance toward those with different values, backgrounds, and norms. Point out other people's strengths. 8. Give your child

Ways To Tell Your Child "i Love You"
1. Attend their sports events, music performances, etc. 2. Find opportunities to trust your chld by granting him/her a new area of responsibility. 3. Have a family picnic on Sunday afternoon. 4. Walk in the rain and jump puddles together. 5. Listen to your child with all your attention. 6. Sit down together and watch your child's favorite television show. 7. Skip rocks together on a lake, pond or river. 8. Say, "I'm proud of you". 9. After your teenager comes in from an outing, have popcorn together by the fireplace. 10. Tell your child about the things that you appreciate most about your own parents. 11. Have a family water-balloon fight (without you as the prime target). 12. Take an evening walk together. 13. Let your child catch you bragging about them to a friend. 14. Hug your child just because. 15. Postpone an appointment and, instead, do something your child enjoys doing. 16. Surprise your child by giving them

25 Ways You Know That You Are A Military Spouse
1. You yell at your kids saying, "Don't make me email your father!" 2. Your neighbors know you but have never seen your active-duty husband. 3. Your conversations are sprinkled with PCS, TAD, LES, etc., and you know what they mean. 4. You have had 8 address changes in 9 years and you are not on the run from the law. 5. The front hall closet of your home is designated as a uniform closet. 6. Your spouse will be gone for 2 weeks from his job and you think, "Is that all? No problem." 7. The radiator blows up on the car and the washing machine dies just as your spouse leaves for temporary duty. 8. You aren't surprised when you get 4 days notice for a 4 month deployment. 9. You don't know your own Social Security number, but you know your spouses by heart. 10. You are in a disagreement with a bill collector and say, "Let me speak to your commander!" 11. You spend your second wedding anniversary alone. 12. You move your day care business from one state to another and still

Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks.Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks,Write "For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8. Don t use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sing Along At The Opera 13. Go To A Poetry Recita

22 Ways To Make A Girl Happy And Appreciated!
1 . Tell her she is beautiful 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with. 8 . Write her notes. (she loves them) 9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend. 1 0 . Play with her hair. 11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play- wrestle with her. 12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her. 13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes. 14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16 . Give her piggyback rides. 17 . Bring her flowers 18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone. 19 . Look her in the eyes and smile. 20 . Let her take

10 Ways To Know You Have Estrogen Issues
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet. 3 The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 5. You're using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 1- 800-". 6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice. 7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space". 8. You 'r e not as nice as you used to be and you used to be a bitch 9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy. 10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday.

26 Ways To Make A Woman Smile
26 Ways To Make A Girl Smile 1.Tell her she is beautiful 2.Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. 3. Hug her from behind 4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to. 5. When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. 6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. 7. If you're talking to another girl, when your done talking, walk over and hug her and kiss her....let her know she's yours and they aren't. 8. Write her notes or call her just to say "hi" 9. Introduce her to your friends . . . as your girlfriend. 10. Play with her hair. 11. Pick her up (she loves it) 12. Get upset if another guy touches her and she doesn't like it 13. Make her laugh 14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. 15. If she's mad at you, kiss her. 16. If you care about her, then (we all know this is a challenge) TELL HER 17. Every guy should give their girl 3 things: a stuffed animal (she'll hug it

22 Ways To Make A Girl Smile
THESE ARE 22 WAYS TO MAKE UR GIRL SMILE. but remember there are consequences 1 . Tell her she is beautiful (not fine, or sexy) but if she's not, go with sexy because she will beat you down if she thinks you're lying. 2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second. If you grab her hand, plan on holding it for no less time than it takes an iceberg to evaporate, or get asked why you stopped. 3 . Kiss her on the forehead. You kiss her on the forehead, she'll want more. Hope her breath doesn't stink and that is probably why you kissed her on the forehead anyhow. 4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to. Wait until you two have been going out a while though, this also constitutes as stalking. 5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you. Unless you're the reason she's mad..........then run! 6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Unless you have money, then she will simply think you're che

69 Ways Of Saying "you Whore"
Abbess, or Lady Abbess: a bawd, or mistress of a brothel. Athanasian Wench: A forward girl, ready to oblige every man that shall ask her. Aunt: Mine aunt; a bawd or procuress; a title of eminence for the senior dells. See DELLS. Balcum Rancum: a hop or dance, where the women are all prostitutes. Bat: A low whore: so called from moving out like bats in the dusk of evening. Biter: A wench whose quim is ready to bite her arse: a lascivious, rampant wench. Blowen: A mistress or whore of a gentleman of the scamp. "The blowen kidded the swell into a snoozing ken, and shook him of his dummee and thimble." transl: the girl inveigled the gentleman into a brothel and robbed him of his pocket book and watch. Bunter: A low dirty prostitute, half whore and half beggar. Buttock: a whore. Buttock Broker: A bawd, or a matchmaker. Buttock and File: A common whore and a pickpocket. Buttock and Twang, or Down Buttock and Sham-Fi

10 Ways I'll Be A Better Person
Baby steps, that's what everyone always told me. Start with a trike, then training wheels, then raise them slightly so I thought they really were helping me and then they came off. Well I've developed my own training wheels to be a better person and these are my own personal 10 goals. I may not reach them all at the same time and they aren't in any particular order of importance but they are still important. 1. Listen more 2. Say thank you more often 3. Smile at strangers 4. Appreciate the small things my boyfriend does 5. Cook a homemade meal more often 6. Keep my pains to myself 7. Pick up more pennies 8. Random acts of kindness 9. Stay organized 10. Give more hugs

101 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Wal-mart
101 Ways To Get Kicked Out Of Wal-Mart *This page is a work in progress, so it does not yet have 101 ways. but, i'm working on it. really i am. in a few days i should have all 101 on here. just be patient...* i've written a guide on how to get kicked out of Walmart. It's going to be a novel. Maybe. Hopefully. Probably not. I have absolutely no idea. But anyways, here it is-all the possible ways to get kicked out of walmart enjoy! 1. Go onto the intercom and yell "BUSH! IT'S BUSH! Oh, wait-that's my mom-my bad!" Tell them to kick you out. 2. Put chocolate pudding all over the bathroom walls, walk out, and say, "Oops, I kinda missed." 3. When I girl wants a barbie doll, run up to her, grab it out of her hands, and go. 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him or her in an official tone "We've got a code 3 in Housewares" and see what happens. 5. play with the automatic doors. 6. Go on the intercom and yell "OH MY GOD! IT'S CODE BLUE! EVERYONE CODE BLUE! SUBSECTION D, CHAPT

Ways To Annoy Someone In The Bathroom
Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall. Cheer and clap loudly every time someoe brekas the silence w/ a bodily function noise. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free." Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!" Fill a balloon w/ creamed corn. Rush into the stall w/ your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast. Fill up a large flask w/ Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!" Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 ft. Sigh relaxingly. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peekaboo!" Pla

Ways To Turn Down Unwanted Men!!!
center> WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTED MEN !!!! HE : Can I buy you a drink? SHE : Actually I'd rather have the money. HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours. SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours. HE : Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice. HE : How did you get to be so beautiful? SHE : I must've been given your share. HE : Will you go out with me this Saturday? SHE : Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend. HE : Your face must turn a few heads. SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs. HE : Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out. SHE : Okay, get out. HE : I think I could make you very happy. SHE : Why? Are you leaving? HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me? SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time. HE : Can I have your name? SHE : Why? Don't you already have one? HE : Shall we go see a movie?

20 Ways Not To Get Invited Back To A Circle
20 Ways Not to Get Invited Back to a Circle 1. Take the ritual sword from the alter and make sounds like Darth Vader..."Luke, I am your father!"...and start making light saber noises. 2. Start skat-singing when chanting. 3. Take the ritual athame from the alter and start cleaning your nails with it. 4. When taking a sip of the ritual wine, act like a wine snob and comment on it. 5. When doing the spiral dance, make a conga line. 6. Call down the Goddess with "Get your ass down here, Big Momma!". 7. Call down the God with "Our father,who art in heaven..." 8. When chanting the names of the Goddess, randomly include Pokemon names. 9. When being smudged, complain about second-hand smoke. 10. In a drumming circle, laugh insanely and start drumming the beat to "Wipe Out". 11. When in a skyclad circle, randomly point and laugh. 12. When the ritual wine goblet is passed to you, chug it and ask for more. 13. Invoke Satan. 14. Take out a

5 Ways To Trigger "sexual Tension" With Women
5 Ways To Trigger "Sexual Tension" With Women >NOTE: If you'd like to read the story of how I learned to attract and meet women... and get dates with models, dancers, actresses... and many fantastic "regular" girls as well, just go here: http://www.DatingTechniques.com/Catalog/ SEXUAL TENSION... AND HOW TO CREATE IT... Let me ask you a quick question. It's a question that MOST men do NOT know the answer to... It's also a question that most women DO know the answer to... The question: "What is SEXUAL TENSION?" Take a minute and "mentally answer" that question. Think it over if you have to. I'm not kidding. Think about it. What did you come up with? To most men, the words "Sexual Tension" are a MYSTERY. They just don't make sense. Or if they DO make sense, they make sense in a way that DOESN'T make sense. Make sense? In other words, some guys think that the words Sexual Tension mean "negative anxiety

15 Ways To Piss Off A Cop
1) SAY "WHAT'S WRONG OSSIFER, THERE'S NO BLOOD IN MY ALCOHOL?" 2) ASK HIM WHERE HE BROUGHT HIS COOL HAT 3) AUTOMATICALLY THROW YOURSELF ONTO THE HOOD OF HIS CAR 4) WHEN HE ASKS YOU TO SPREAD THEM, TELL HIM YOU DON'T GO THAT WAY 5) ASK IF YOU CAN BORROW HIS UNIFORM FOR A HALLOWEEN PARTY 6) ASK HIM IF HE FEELS LIKE A BIG MAN JUST BECAUSE HE HAS A GUN 7) ASK HIM IF HE BECAME A COP BECAUSE OF THE LOW I.Q. REQUIREMENTS 8) ASK HIM IF HE HAS A BROTHER NAMED BARNEY 9) ASK HIM FOR DIRECTIONS TO THE NEAREST DONUT SHOP 10) IGNORE HIM AND SAY "MOM TOLD ME NOT TO TALK WITH STRANGERS" 11) FART A FEW TIMES IN THE BACK SEAT OF HIS CAR 12) WHEN HE FRISKS YOU, MOAN LOUDLY "OH, BABY", "YEAH BABY" 13) PRETEND YOU'RE GAY AND ASK HIM OUT 14) ASK HIM TO HOLD YOUR BEER WHILE YOU GET YOUR LICENSE 15) PICK YOUR NOSE WITH HIS PEN WHILE READING OVER THE TICKET

20 Ways To A Girls Heart
1. Hug her from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other(don't make her grab yours). 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. Don't force her to do anything. 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her honestly. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Be super sweet to her. 10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams. 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12.Wipe away her tears 13. Love her with all your heart. 14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she will scream and say put me down but really, she loves it). 15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her). 16. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it will get back to her! 17. Don't ever act different in front of your friends than you are when its just you and her!!!! 18. Take her for a long walk at night! 19. Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside when its cold to comfort her and hold her close. 20. Neve

41 Ways
1. ask her to dance. 2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes and mouth. 3. When she's coming down the street, across the room, or up the stairs to meet you, walk toward her as soon as you see her. 4. Kiss her between her shoulder blades when she turns her back to you to go to sleep. 5. Put your arm around her when you introduce her to your friends and family. 6. Grasp her hand when a scantily dressed, beautiful woman walks by. 7. Call her when you're feeling sad. 8. Kiss her eyelids. 9. Ask to see a picture of her when she was a child. 10. Wash her from head to toe in the shower. 11. If she's crying on the phone, go over to her place. Immediately. 12. Stand her naked on a sturdy chair and lick between her legs. 13. Occasionally call her by her first and middle names. 14. Buy her your favorite rock album of all time on vinyl. 15. Order coffee for her, remembering exactly how she likes it. 16. Undress her

Ways To Turn Down Men
Ways to Turn Down Men Man: Haven't I seen you some place before? Woman: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: Can I buy you a drink? Woman: Actually I'd rather have the money. Man: How did you get to be so beautiful? Woman: I must have been given your share. Man: Your face must turn a few heads. Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs. Man: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out. Woman: Okay, get out. Man: I think I could make you very happy. Woman: Why? Are you leaving? Man: What would you say if I asked you to marry me? Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time. Man: Can I have your name? Woman: Why? Don't you already have one? Man: Shall we go see a movie? Woman: I've already seen one. Man: Where

5 Ways Your Computer Use Can Get You Fired
by Liz Wolgemuth, U.S. News & World Report Print Email IM Bookmark del.icio.us Digg It's essential for some jobs, handy for most, but don't be fooled -- the personal computer can be a job ender. Even as you read this story, you should probably be asking yourself: Am I actually allowed to browse online and read news stories at the office? The parameters for computer use at work (and even at home) are often confusing. We communicate, network, watch our TV shows, do our grocery shopping, and get our news on our computers. But it's no free-for-all. Employees should know exactly what their employer's policies are for email and Internet usage, because workers are losing their jobs after computer-based missteps. Here are five ways to log on and lose your job: 1. Blog it up. Blogger Chez Pazienza worked as a producer at CNN's "American Morning" until mid-February, when Pazienza says his boss informed him that the company discovered his name attached to blog posts written with

Ways To Cope With Stress
1. Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time. 2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa. 3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. 4. When someone says "have a nice day", tell them you have other plans. 5. Make a list of things to do that you have already done. 6. Dance naked in front of your pets. 7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him to pre-school as if nothing is wrong. 8. Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals. 9. Tape pictures of you boss on watermelons and launch them from high places. 10. Leaf through "National Geographic" and draw underwear on the natives. 11. Tattoo "Out to Lunch" on your forehead. 12. Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day. 13. Buy a subscription to "Sleazoid Weekly" and send it to your boss's wife. 14. Pay your electric bill in pennies. 15. Drive to work in rev

Ways To Wrap Ur Willy.....
1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP 2.BEFORE U ATTACK HER, WRAP YR WHACKER 3.DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YR WILLY 4.WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YR SPOUT 5.DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YR BONER 6.YOU CANT GO WRONG IF U SHIELD YR DONG 7.IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT. 8.IF U THINK SHE'S SPUNKY COVER YR MONKEY 9.IF U SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE 10.IT WILL BE SWEETER IF U WRAP YR PETER 11.SHE WONT GET SICK IF U WRAP YR DICK 12.IF U GO IN TO HEAT, PACKAGE YR MEAT 13.WHILE YR UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YR PENIS 14.WHEN YOU TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, SLIP UP YR TROUSER MOUSE 15.ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YR MEMBER 16.NEVER,NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER 17.DONT BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YR TOOL 18.THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YR ERECTION 19.WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL 20.A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER 21.NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!

9 Ways To Not Pick Me Up
I havent posted a blog in awhile but this one is worthy 9. Using the words sexy, fine, baby, mmmmm, yummy, etc. in the subject line is just gonna get your message deleted. No need to read on from there...you're obviously a tool. 8. Sending me a nine page novel about how much we have in common like reading, poetry, or long walks on the beach. Hello, you dont know me from Jack Sh*t! 7. Asking me if i want to meet, give you my number or my e-mail address. I don't f*cking know you and i don't want to wind up in pieces in your garbage bag but nice try stalker. 6. Send me a friend request once if I deny you the first time, guess what i'm not going to say yes the tenth time either. Get over it. Desperation just makes you look crazy. 5. When your page is filled with nothing but half naked chicks, you obviously have enough material to jerk off to. You don't need me. 4. If the only pics you have on your page are of you and your porche, big house or stacks of cash that's

1001 Ways To Avoid Work No1
Hmm where to start? You can just tell I'm trying to avoid being in the office and getting 'pinged' for some c**p job. So where better to disapear to than a classroom with internet connectivity. Oh yes and research some teaching material (honest) Thanks to Rogue I have added the bit below on "What element are you?" so fill your boots!! What Element Lies within you?(PICS)created with QuizFarm.com You scored as FireFIRE! You are spunky yet loyal, and have the heart of a warrior. Though unpredictable and hard to contain, but your best buds always manage to keep you in check. you can have a bad temper but you are not mean. You are however strong and protective, so enemies WATCH OUT! Fire 67%Light 67%Darkness 67%Earth 67%Wind 33%

10 Ways To Know If You're Frigid
10. You think being sexually cold is normal. 9. Have been left high and wet too many times. 8. Hate the idea of having sex. 7. Afraid of losing control. 6. You keep your vagina dry with powder. 5. You think sex is only for procreation. 4. Still a virgin: afraid of the "pain." 3. You think an orgasm is the "mark of the beast." 2. You wear an ice pack between your legs. 1. You've had your vagina sewed up.

50 Ways To Encourage A Chronically Ill Friend
50 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend Reprinted from Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend By Lisa Copen "A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world." ~Lois Wyse Ask, "What events in your life are changing and how are you coping with the changes?" Understand that she lives in a constant state of making decisions for which there is no guarantee that she is making the right choice. Put meals in disposable containers and attach a note saying "This doesn't need to be returned." Add stickers to envelopes for a cheerful touch. Arrange for your friend's kids to have a night with your children. Don't make a person into a project. Ask, "Would you be willing to talk to a friend of mine who has recently been diagnosed with a chronic illness and offer her some encouragement?" It makes one feel good to know that her experience can offer someone e

45 Ways To Love A Girl
1-touch her waist 2-talk to her 3-share secrets 4-give her your jacket 5-kiss her slowly Are you remembering this? 6-hug her 7-hold her 8-laugh with her 9-invite her somewhere 10-let her be with you when you're with your friends Keep reading 11-smile with her 12-take pics with her 13-pull her onto your lap 14-when she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back 15-when her friends say I love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she cant get to her friends. it makes her feel loved Are you thinking about someone? 16-always hug her and say "I love you" when you see her 17-kiss her unexpectedly 18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE WAIST 19-tell her she's beautiful! 20-tell her the way you feel about her! Oh, and on that last one...u need to show her you mean it too 21-open doors for her, walk her to her car- it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurt to act like a gentleman 22-tel

20 Ways To Tell A Man To Zip It Up
• The cucumber has left the salad. • I can see the gun of Navarone. • Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. • You've got Windows on your laptop. • Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave. • Your soldier ain’t so unknown now. • Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. • You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. • Paging Mr. Johnson . . . Paging Mr. Johnson . . . • Your pod bay door is open, Hal. • Elvis Junior has LEFT the building! • Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod. • Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir! • The Buick is not all the way in the garage. • Dr. Kimble has escaped! • You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary." • Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction . . . • You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. • I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it? • I thought you were c

Ways To Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped
Ways To Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped The cucumber has left the salad. I can see the gun of Navarone. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out. You've got Windows on your laptop. Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave. Your soldier ain't so unknown now. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson... Your pod bay door is open, Hal. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building! Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod. Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir! The Buick is not all the way in the garage. Dr. Kimble has escaped! You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary". Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction... You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. I'm talking about Shaft, can you dig it? Men are From Mars

101 Ways
1. Tell the other person that you love them 2. Give or get a hug 3. Make sure the other person feels important and respected 4. Kiss when people are looking 5. Kiss when people aren't looking 6. Tell the other person that you care 7. Hold hands 8. Go for a long bike ride 9. Give a special present 10. Be there when they need a friend 11. Spend time together 12. Go to see a film 13. Walk arm in arm in the woods 14. Make a special tape of love songs 15. Talk about your feelings 16. Share dreams with each other 17. Snuggle up together 18. Sit together in the park 19. Take a walk together 20. Go out for a meal 21. Have a picnic 22. Play a game of frisbee 23. Give compliments 24. Relax in a jacuzzi 25. Go swimming 26. Just be close 27. Go shopping for food 28. Cook a meal together 29. Touch each other in a loving way 30. Do homework together 31. Plan and go on a trip together 32. Throw a par

7 Ways To Love
1. Have the same love for your wife/husband as you do for Jesus Himself. 2. Your kids fall under the next level of love, you don't have intimate love for your kids. 3. Next kind of love is for you close family, Like mom, dad, brother or sisters. 4. Then you have the next kind of love down which is for your distance relatives, cousens. 5 Then you have the love for your best friends and those that are close to you. 6. You have the next step down would be your distance friends and people you aquant with, but you really don't know them on a personal level. 7. The love for the world. Love thy neighbor as you do for yourself, so thats any one. There is your 7 types of ways to love. Have a great evening.

The 17 Ways Women Fail In Bed
THE 17 WAYS WOMEN FAIL IN BED 1. MILKING IT: When stroking a guy's dick don't grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the love sword as if it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The male organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be awed, worshipped and held tenderly at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way down. 2. ROBOTS: When sucking a guy's dick don't just get on the end of the thing and jam your head back and forward. It's a beautiful instrument; it should be caressed, inspected, kissed and licked from every possible angle. 3. SILENT FRIGHT: If you've come and cannot be coerced to scream to show your appreciation, at least make some sort of sign to inform the guy that he's done his duty and can blow his biscuits whenever he wants. 4. NO LAUGHING MATTER: Don't laugh if your creative male lover gets carried away and says things like

19 Ways To Win A Girls Heart....
19 ways to win a girls heart.... 1. Hugs from behind. 2. Grab her hand when you walk next to each other(don't make her grab yours). 3. When standing, wrap your arms around her. 4. Cuddle with her. 5. DON'T FORCE HER TO DO ANYTHING. 6. Write little notes. 7. Compliment her Honestly. 8. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible. 9. Be super sweet to her. 10. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams. 11. Comfort her when she cries. 12. Wipe away her tears 13. Love her with all your heart. 14. Pick her up and flirt with her (she'll scream and say put me down but really she loves it). 15. Be a gentleman (hold the door for her). 16. Don't let your friends talk trash about her, it'll get back 2 her! 17. Take her for a long walk at night! 18. Always bring a blanket where ever you go outside when its cold to comfort her and hold her close 19. NEVER LIE TO HER!!!!!! Then she will thi

11 Ways To Look Taller And Slimmer
1. Opt for a monochromatic outfit. 2. Add contrast color or texture with a blazer, cardigan or overshirt. 3. Leave the blazer or cardigan unbuttoned for maximum vertical lines. 4. Any stripes on the garment should be vertical. 5. Choose scarves tied loosely with long, vertical dangling ends. 6. Match pantyhose hue to skirt or pant and shoe color. 7. Avoid big belts, which can cut you in half visually. 8. Use long necklaces or pendants and avoid chokers. 9. Wear skirts that are longer than they are wide. 10. Choose shoes with at least an inch heel: the taller the better. 11. Elongate the neck with V-necks. Tips: 1. Monochromatic doesn't have to mean boring. Mix textures to keep the look interesting (i.e. knits with leather) 2. If you are petite (5'3" or under) make sure you scale everything down : smaller prints, pockets, etc. so they don't overpower your figure. 3. Don't make the mistake of going for all long pieces. Go fo

5 Ways To Look 10 Years Younger
1 The fresh-water swim There is nothing more invigorating than plunging into fresh water. Kate Rew, the founder of the Outdoor Swimming Society and author of Wild Swim: The Best Places to Swim Outdoors in Britain, says, 'Swimming outside makes people feel childlike - in a good way. It puts you right in the present and you somehow emerge without any worries.' The OSS runs technique clinics throughout the year and fun (if freezing) events like its 'December dip'. Why not jump in and join them? The water's lovely… 2 The delivered-to-your-door diet We all know the theory of how to drop the pounds, but the practice can be tricky. No excuses when you get all your meals, plus two snacks, delivered to your door daily. Quite how you can enjoy treats such as chocolate mousse (alongside main courses like Goan coconut chicken) and still only be on 1,300 calories - our tester's daily calorie allowance - is anyone's guess. But you feel full and stand to lose up to 2lbs a week. 3 The wardrobe

Ways To Exude Sense And Sensuality
Studying autumn's looks requires learning - or re-learning - some fashion terms; many of which happen to begin with a P. Parure: a jewellery set comprised of a matching necklace and cuffs - the perfect thing to spark up a plain dress or top. But never with earrings. Pointy stilettos: these are what make curvy dresses look new. And they're an elegant step away from the recent stompin' orthopaedics. Pencil skirts: a critical drop in the hemline to two inches below the knee has taken place; a crucial difference to last year's thigh-flashing skirts and dresses. You can wear boots with this look, but the pointy shoe tweaks the hip-hugging narrow skirt (perhaps part of a dress) to a stunningly sexy Fifties silhouette. Peacoats: these double-breasted jackets are timeless, transitional pieces to wear through the seasons. They complement the new, long-line dresses and wide or skinny trousers, and they do casual with jeans. Peg-tops: these pleat-front trousers are at their most extreme in t

101 Ways To Annoy People
101 Ways To Annoy People 1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. < 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist o

102 Ways To Help
102 Ways... Help Rescue Without Adopting a Dog or Fostering a Dog Can you... Transport a dog? Donate a dog bed or towels or other *bedding* type items?** Donate MONEY (collect your change for a week or a month and donate that!)? Donate a Kong? A nylabone? A hercules? Donate a crate? Donate an x-pen or baby gates? Donate a food dish or a stainless bucket for a crate? Donate a leash? Donate a collar? Donate some treats or a bag of food? Donate a halti or promise collar or a gentle leader? Walk a dog? Groom a dog? Donate some grooming supplies (shampoos, combs, brushes, etc.)? Go to the local shelter and see if that dog is the breed the shelter says it is or go with rescue to be a second opinion on the dog? Make a few phone calls? Mail out applications to people who've requested them? Provide local vet clinics with contact information for educational materials on responsible pet ownership? Drive a dog to and from vet appointments? Donate long dist

18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan
18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan 1. Be considerate: Rearrange their altar so it looks neat. 2. Blow out their altar candle if it is daylight. (no need to waste a good candle). 3. Sweep up the salt they carelessly left at the doorway. 4. Sharpen their Athame. 5. Untie the knot in their cords. 6. Try on their jewelry for fashion sense. 7. Pick up their crystals for a closer look. 8. See how far their crystal ball will roll (dogs love this). 9. Use their runes as extra Dominoes. 10. Play "Old Maid" with their Tarot cards. 11. Toss holy water on them "just to see what happens" 12. Ask them if they are a good witch or a bad witch. 13. Debate with them about "True Religion". 14. Ask them if they are Satan worshippers. 15. Tell them how the bible says they are going to hell, then ask if they can make you a love potion. 16. Point to their pentacle necklace, almost touching it, and say "isn't that supposed to be point down?" 17

20 Ways To Maintain Sanity!
20 Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level of Sanity. 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice. 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that. 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In." 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write " For Smuggling Diamonds" 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy." 8 . Dont use any punctuation 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face. 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go." 12. Sin

Ways To Go Green
You can be good to the earth--without giving up things you love. Plus, what those "eco" labels really mean. At the supermarket Be picky about produce Download the "Shoppers' Guide to Pesticides in Produce" at ewg.org. The wallet-size list sorts out the fruits and veggies that tend to be higher in pesticides (like apples and spinach) from produce with a lower count (like bananas and peas). Choose "certified" coffee Yuban coffee is Rainforest Alliance Certified (that means it's grown in a way that preserves the ecosystem). A Fair Trade Certified brand is Green Mountain Coffee Roasters. (Both brands are available at many markets.) For more on these certification labels, see the chart. Support local farms At eatwellguide.org, you can plug in your zip code and find suppliers of organic and sustainably produced meat, poultry, eggs, and more. If you buy locally, you won't have to rely on farms that ship food nationwide, which helps to decrease our depen

10 Ways To Be Unhappy
Make little things bother you. Don’t just let them, make them. Lose your perspective on things and keep it lost: don’t put first things first. Find yourself a good worry, one about which you cannot do anything. Be a perfectionist, which means not that you work hard to do your best, but that you condemn yourself and others for not achieving perfection. Be right. Be always right. Be the only one who is always right, and be rigid in your rightness. Don’t trust or believe people, or accept them at anything but their worst and weakest. Be suspicious. Insist that others always have hidden motives. Always compare yourself unfavorably to others. This guarantees instant misery. Take personally everything that happens to you. Don’t give yourself whole-heartedly to anyone or anything. so do u wanna be UNHAPPY or HAPPY????

20 Ways To Make His Xxxmas
1. Trim his tree. 2. Lick his luscious candy cane. 3. Be his "ho-ho-ho" for the holidays. 4. Polish his christmas balls. 5. Ride him like a reindeer. 6. Taste his sweet egg-nog. 7. Deck the halls with moans of pleasure. 8. Fa, la, la, latio- la, la, la, la. 9. Spark his menorah with a hot strip tease. 10. Request a stiff stocking stuff-her! 11. Make his Kris Kringle tingle. 12. Gift wrap yourself in sexy lingere. 13. Unwrap his package. 14. Hang mistletoe from any place you want kissed. 15. Rock his jingle bells in the frosty air. 16. Make your Rudolph's hose as red as his nose. 17. Heat him up with a snow job. 18. Give the Christmas carolers a show of your own. 19. Dress up as Santa's nasty little helper. 20. Make sure you're naughty, so it's nice.

Ways To Annoy A Bathroom Stall Mate
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor," May I borrow a highlighter?" 2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that." 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before." 5. Drop a marble and say, "Oh crap!! My glass eye!!" 6. Say "Dang, this water is cold." 7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place and sigh relaxingly. 8. Say, "Now how did that get there?" 9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus." 10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbor's while yelling," Whoa! Easy boy!!" 11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters!" 12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a pad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over her

18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan!
18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan This is sooo funny and yet sooooo true! LOL 18 Ways To Piss Off A Pagan! (1) Be considerate: Rearrange their altar so it looks neat. (2) Blow out their altar candle if it is daylight. (No need to waste a good candle). (3)Sweep up the salt they carelessly left at the doorway. (4)Sharpen their Athame. (5)Untie the knot in their cords. (6)Try on their jewelry for fashion sense (7)Pick up their crystals for a closer look. (8)See how far their crystal ball will roll (dogs love this). (9)Use their runes as extra Dominoes. (10)Play "Old Maid" with their Tarot cards. (11)Toss holy water on them "just to see what happens" (12)Ask them if they are a good witch or a bad witch. (13)Debate with them about "True Religion". (14)Ask them if they are Satan worshippers. (15)Tell them how the bible says they are going to hell, then ask if they can make you a love potion. (16)Point to their pentacle necklace, almost touching it, and say "isn

"20 Ways"
20 ways. There’s 20 ways the rain could come and the least of them was right. It could come and cleanse the soul today or it could sneak in here at night The liquid it could heal our souls or roll into the ditch It could be our ever loving God, or an ice cold heartless bitch. Yeah, 20 ways to damn ourselves, 20 ways to fall In the legacy of the motor car, the unions strong and tall They all strive for Nirvana, that comfort zone denied But it’s not for lack of caring, or that they did not try. There’s 20 ways to lose the game, 20 ways to fail 20 ways to lie to them, 20 ways to tell the tale The cloak has shrouded that simple thing, we used to call the truth It’s twisted all the words and tales, we like to tell the youth The time is surely now at hand, the time has come to pass When we lost out on the 20 ways, 20 ways to save our ass The lies and bullshit congregate, the end is now right here Yes, there’s 20 ways to give it up, 20 ways at least my dear. Copyrig

20 Ways
20 ways. There’s 20 ways the rain could come and the least of them was right. It could come and cleanse the soul today or it could sneak in here at night The liquid it could heal our souls or roll into the ditch It could be our ever loving God, or an ice cold heartless bitch. Yeah, 20 ways to damn ourselves, 20 ways to fall In the legacy of the motor car, the unions strong and tall They all strive for Nirvana, that comfort zone denied But it’s not for lack of caring, or that they did not try. There’s 20 ways to lose the game, 20 ways to fail 20 ways to lie to them, 20 ways to tell the tale The cloak has shrouded that simple thing, we used to call the truth It’s twisted all the words and tales, we like to tell the youth The time is surely now at hand, the time has come to pass When we lost out on the 20 ways, 20 ways to save our ass The lies and bullshit congregate, the end is now right here Yes, there’s 20 ways to give it up, 20 ways at least my dear. Copyrig

13 Ways To Live
13 Ways to live in an anti-God culture: These are 13 very important things I learned at bible study earlier tonight. 1.Live in Holiness and Honor. (1 Thes. 4:1-8) 2. Live in Love for Each Other. ( 1 Thes. 4:9-10) 3.Live in Honesty. (1 Thes. 4:11-12) 4. Live with Hope. ( 1 Thes. 4:13-18) 5. Live Alert. (1 Thes. 5:1-11) 6. LIve Honoring your Leaders. (1 Thes. 5:12-13) 7. Live Aware of others Needs. (1 Thes.5:14-15) 8. Live with a Thankful Heart. (1 Thes.5:16-18) 9. Live a Spirit Led life. (1 Thes.5:19-21) 10. Live Faithfully. (1 Thes.5:22-28) 11. Live Prayerfully. (2 Thes.3:1-5) 12. Work to live. (2 THes.3:6-13) 13. Live the Word. (2 Thes.3:14-18) Three encouragements to stand Firm: 1. LOOK at the Past. 2. LOOK at the Present. 3. LOOK to the Future. All this came from the Books of Thesolonians. Paul wrote these to the Church to help encourage them and to warn them of the false teachings they had recieved. The B

Ways 2 Donate 2 Forbidden!!
LIVE365VIP (Click Banner above then click Support this Broadcaster Banner) Forbidden Radio LIVE365VIP Year Special (Click Banner above to find out about our VIP Special) SPECIAL NSFW FORBIDDEN PLAYMATE ALBUM (Click Banner above to learn how to see our Hot & Sexy Playmates like Never Before!) OWN A PAIR OF YOUR FAVORITE PLAYMATE'S PANTIES (Click Banner above to Check Out Our Hot Playmates in Their Panties!) OWN A PAIR OF ELLIE'S SIGNED PANTIES (Click Banner above to Find Out How to Own a Pair of Signed Ellie Panties!) CHECK OUT OUR PLAYMATE DESI IN THE RAW!

20 Ways To Confuse Santa
1..Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2..While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3..Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants. 4..While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly. 5..Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit! 6..Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa." 7..Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home. 8..Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave unti